#|| about.

[rcsentful]

thinking abt how izu's coping mechanisms just keep getting worse and he lashes out more and more over time, even in redemption verse... at first he only smokes/drinks occasionally, just to take the edge off, but the more he does it and the more he sees it as a temporary way to ease the pain and keep his mind quiet? oooh it's bad

[rcsentful]

I feel like Izuku would know Morse code. No specific reason I just feel like it’s something he would’ve learned in his free time in middle school, maybe he thought it would come in handy as a hero or maybe he just thought it would be cool, either way it’s probably a bit more useful now than it was back then lol

Is it international Morse or katakana code/wabun? Who knows I’ll figure that out later lmao

[rcsentful]

It’s 4:30am but i can’t get it off my mind so redemption verse thoughts

Izuku isn’t sure he even wants to attend UA anymore after his return, partially because he still feels like the heroes abandoned him and partially because he doesn’t think he’s capable (or worthy) of being a hero. He certainly doesn’t want to live in the dorms, he missed his mom more than anything and wants to live at home instead. I imagine he was probably given some time at home before he’s moved into the dorms for protection reasons, something that was probably very hard to get his mother to agree to after everything.

When he does return to school, he behaves a lot differently than before. His grades have absolutely plummeted, he doesn’t participate in hero training, he skips class — with how unsure he is about his future and what he wants to be, not to mention the trauma he’s struggling to cope with, it’s hard to get the motivation to try in school. He always lies when his mom asks how everything is going, though, because he doesn’t want her to worry about him (though I’m sure the school probably informs her of some of his more “delinquent” behaviors).

Socially, he’s more withdrawn than ever. He doesn’t feel like he belongs with the other students, not only because of his hesitance towards heroism, but because he sees himself as beneath them. He feels “dirtied” and “tainted”, even after leaving villainy behind— his past haunts him relentlessly. He can never take back the things he’s done, even if it was for the sake of survival… So he feels like not only is he undeserving of their friendship, but that it’s just better for them to stay away from “someone like him.” The anxiety he feels around his classmates is part of the reason he skips class and won’t participate in anything.

He spends a lot of time holed up in his room, and tries to avoid the common areas of the dorms when he can, unless he’s sure that everyone else is asleep or something. Sometimes he likes to wander around the empty parts of campus, or sometimes he sneaks out just to get away from it all. One of his favorite spots on campus is the rooftop, much like how he used to go to the roof of the League’s hideout as a temporary escape. In general he’s pretty elusive and hard to find most of the time.

His feelings about the villains are very complicated. On one hand, he obviously resents the trauma he was put through. But he also came to be fond of many League members, which makes it hard for him to go back to thinking that all villains are evil. Most of his malice is directed towards AFO, but even in that case, hating what he put him through… he still has this lingering uncertainty, wondering if maybe he was right about heroes after all. Maybe there is no other way to fix this society…

I think his re-admittance to UA was probably somewhat controversial, even with the mandatory therapy and such. On one hand, he was a former student that was kidnapped and forced into a life of crime… but on the other hand, he was still acting as a villain for a long time. Who’s to say if he can be trusted or not? Izuku tries to avoid reading news articles about the situation, but it’s just another layer of pressure weighing on him and making him feel trapped, unable to move on. The other students tend to have very mixed reactions to him, which only adds to his anxiety around his peers and causes him to be even more avoidant, though his behavior certainly doesn’t help his reputation. He doesn’t bother trying to change anyones mind about him, because sometimes he feels like they’re right about him.

He’s heavily contemplating passing on OFA, but there are a lot of factors getting in the way. All Might and the other heroes in his life trying to convince him not to give up, the pressure of finding a worthy successor… And while it feels like something of a curse, gaining OFA was the only thing that made him feel like he was worth something, so even after everything, he’s going to have a really hard time letting go of it. Cant live it, can’t live without it.

[rcsentful]

Also. I do think Izuku has killed someone. Not on purpose, but if he forgot to hold back with his quirk in a moment of panic against a hero or vigilante or something… yeah. It would haunt him for the rest of his goddamn life though that’s for sure!

[rcsentful]

Also while I’m here

Thinking about sprinkling a sort of fucked up mentor / almost parental relationship with AFO in like. The most manipulative way possible into the Lore… because what’s a stronger motivator to stay than the initial threats of violence? Connection. Family. “Love” :)

It’s been literal years since I really tweaked the lore in any meaningful way so HMMM. Idk maybe I’ll have it still be like. Tense and Izu isn’t fully convinced yet but he’s starting to buy into AFO’s shit

[rcsentful]

Sense and other specific headcanons!

What  does  your  muse  smell  like  ? Well... Not good, that's for sure. I wouldn't say he smells terrible most of the time, he rinses off when he can, but it's still not... good. The smell of cigarette smoke often clings to his clothes, sometimes blood and alcohol too depending on what he's been up to. A little bit of sweat, too. He doesn't really have any proper shampoo/soap/etc so smelling like nothing is about as good as it gets in that regard.

What  do  your  muse’s  hands  feel  like ? Calloused, shaky, scuffed up and scarred. They're strong but unstable, and you can tell by touch alone how much these hands have been through. By far the most damaged part of his body.

What  does  your  muse  usually  eat  in  a  day ? Not much, usually. He skips breakfast, usually tries to scrounge up some change for gas station food for lunch (if he can't get the money, it's time to dine-and-dash or nab someone else's lunch or wallet), and dinner is usually the same... Though if he's lucky, sometimes he'll get dinner from Kurogiri or some snacks from other League members.

Does  your  muse  have  a  good  singing  voice ? I don't think even Izuku himself knows. He's too self-conscious to ever try to sing in earnest, even if he's sure he's alone... He might sing along if the music is loud enough and he can't really be heard, but that's about it. His voice would come out too shaky and unsure if he tried to sing for someone else, I think.

Does  your  muse  have  any  bad  habits  or  nervous  ticks  ? Oh, he's got plenty of those. He's got a seemingly endless supply of nervous ticks, but I'd say his most common ones are fidgeting with his hands, biting his nails, tapping his fingers, biting the inside of his cheek... He has a hard time sitting still when he's nervous, that's for sure. In terms of bad habits, he's picked up quite a few during his time with the League. He smokes on occasion to calm his nerves (though he ends up doing this more and more frequently with time), and he's developed something of a compulsion to steal small things, even if he doesn't need them. On a more emotional level, he has a bad habit of trying to shoulder everything himself- he hates to ask others for help, and he has a tendency to blame himself for things out of his control, too. But if I got into everything we'd be here all day, so I'll leave it at that for now LOL

What  does  your  muse  usually  look  like/wear  ? Worn down clothes, usually with some attempt to conceal his identity without seeming suspicious. I'd say his most common outfit is a dark hoodie, maybe a hat of some kind or he has the hood pulled up, old jeans that don't quite fit him right, and a mask covering his mouth and nose. His hair is a bit longer now, and it's cut in a much choppier fashion, since he does it himself, always with some longer pieces in the back that he missed.

Is  your  muse  affectionate  ?  How  so  ? Hard to say, since he doesn't really trust anyone enough to be affectionate with them for the most part. When he does show affection, though, it tends to be through acts of service for the other person. Sometimes it'll be verbal, in that he might start gushing about how cool someone is and whatnot... But that's somewhat less likely. It really depends on the person.

What  position  does  your  muse  sleep  in  ? Curled up, always with his back to the wall. He's too anxious to fall asleep if his back isn't against something. He doesn't have a whole lot of space to spread out, anyways.

Could  you  hear  your  muse  in  the  hallway  from  another  room  ? Sometimes... But he tends to stay pretty quiet for the most part. Maybe if he gets caught up muttering to himself without realizing it.

Tagged by: @zcitgcistcr thank u!! Tagging: anyone who wants to do it!

[rcsentful]

i think izu used to bite/chew the fuck out of Many things when he was younger. his nails, pencils, hoodie strings, etc... a nervous habit he's mostly gotten rid of, but he'll still find himself biting his nails or occasionally putting the end of his pencil between his teeth