Did Rukia ever have feelings for Kaen despite him being married?
For the next five asks, my muse cannot tell a lie. |x|
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“I-” Rukia hesitated at the question, no one ever asked about him. People often associated her relationship with Ichigo to be caused by Kaien, ‘Kurosaki looks like him doesn’t he?’ , ‘Rukia only made him a shinigami because of that Shiba boy.’ It hurt her, yes, it was still a sore subject.
“Yes, I did. Kaien Shiba was always kind to me and taught me everything I know about Sode no Shirayuki. Miyako was stunning, and a wonderful wife to him, I have always looked up to her. It was wrong, and I know that. But he was the only person I had that would give me the time of day.”
It was selfish, honestly. After being adopted and had early release from the Academy, she still hadn’t finished her training, she didn’t even know who her zanpakuto was. When she entered the 13th, Ukitake-taicho and Kaien-dono knew she was troubled, and Kaien spent day and night with her to make her strong. Byakuya was still incredibly cold, and well, Renji was gone, she had no way of talking to him or seeing him.
Kaien gave her friendship and comfort. Rukia was torn away from everything she was happy with by her brother at the wishes of her late sister, he didn’t know what do with an orphaned low life from the Rukon that looked exactly like his dead wife.
She needed something, someone to keep her focused and decently happy, and that was Kaien. The day came where she had to KILL him to SAVE him. The feeling plagues her gut thinking about it and she would have given her own life for him to live, but he gave her his heart, so she had to have courage.
‘And when that time comes…where does your heart go? It gets passed on to your nakama. If you pass it on to them, then your heart will always live on within them.’
“At the time, he was all I had, and I was selfish.”