Idea/Headcanon:
Oh god, I had an idea this morning, so I looked up dissociation disorders from trauma this morning to research them further. Realized Aryn would suffer from a few at key times. Also that canonly, Shiro does suffer from a couple of them which was interesting to read and see the parallels.
But anyway, the idea has just built up more and more in my head, despite it’s semi-unlikeliness. But after Aryn is returned to either the Third Fleet or another, wherever she’s passed on to have her series of surgeries and experiments. She would be in bad shape, physically obviously, and mentally greatly.
While being presumed dead or obsolete while in Lukta’s care for the several months, she not only underwent the trauma of the arena and losing her arm , hand and having her spine broken, she then underwent the trauma of being a live surgical experiment and occassional mental conditioning preformed by Lukta himself to make her easier to work with. Drug and shock therapy to keep her body and muscles from atrophy And an assortment of outright strange conversation and medical lectures on the marvels of her insides or degradation of her body’s inefficiencies.
After being “fixed” as Lukta would call it, she is very hard to reach. Often will stare into space and not react to her environment much at all. She makes no indication if she hears things often, but will often follow orders given. She comes with a set of verbal commands that Lukta sends with her for ease of the receiver which he has ‘programmed’ into her and should be “up-kept to to remain effective”.
The scenario that prods at my mind is her trying to detach her one arm, with little explanation other than “it’s not mine” and getting her fingers quite in there until she’s bleeding and in general stopped by the pain of it. Then with her blood she begins writing on the walls of her cell.
‘How did you get here?’
“What have you done?”
‘What is your purpose?’
She’s interrupted by a guard patrolling to which they realize something is amiss with the blood, and open the cell to stop her. She flies into a rage and nearly kills the man. All opportunity to do so but stops and then uses his blood to keep writing.
“What is left of you?”
‘Who are you?’
‘You have to keep on-’
“Fight fight fight fighting’
‘FIGHT FIGHT’
When she’s done writing she leaves through the open cell and wanders, leaving trails of red and purple blood on the walls. The injured Galra sounds an alarm. She continues until finds a window or holographic screen that acts like one.
And there she sits and just stares at the stars in a dissociative state, not understanding what had just happened and not sure any of this all is real anymore. She just wants to watch the stars peacefully to make sure they are still there.
Until she’s found at least.