to: julian devereux cc: stella nasr julian, i'm currently writing this at 4am because my dog woke me up to take a shit and i happened to check my email. so i apologize in advance if what i'm about to tell you is not what you want to hear. but it is my honest thoughts at this hour. i will also cc: stella in case she needs to hear it as well. regardless, it might not be the answer you want but i need you to hear me loud and clear anyway. first of all, i don't doubt your commitment. i see all the hours you put in, i see the planning, i see your drive, and i see just how badly you want this team to succeed. i know that desire comes from a genuine place and that you care deeply about the success and legacy of this group.
but somewhere along the way, i believe you've convinced yourself that caring more than everyone else gives you the right to decide for everyone else. it doesn't, not really. not when you haven't proven to them you're someone worth following. i'll ask you a different question: how can you expect people to follow someone who doesn't seem interested in knowing who's following them? you want them to trust your vision, yet you don't even seem to stop long enough to learn theirs. you expect excellence from people whose names you still stumble over or not know anything about except the range they can sing. you demand loyalty from teammates you've treated more like chess pieces to execute your ideas than they are human beings. and you keep saying you're trying to make them better, but from where i'm standing, all they're probably hearing is that you're telling them they're not enough. you say you're pushing people, but have you considered that how you've done it only pushes them away? and if for some reason that is your goal, what then? you stand alone on that stage? you need them just as much as you think they need you.
these are people with their own lives, julian. they're not the supporting cast to your world. and they certainly didn't sign up for this club for you to choose the roles they play. people don't give their best to someone who only sees them for what they can produce, they give their best to someone who makes them believe they're worth something even when they fail.
leadership isn't about convincing people that you're right and you'll make the best decisions for them. a real good leader will make people want to keep walking beside them even after they've been wrong, if you can even admit that. so maybe leadership isn't for you if you're not even willing to compromise your vision before the team even has a chance to vote? when you're not even willing to talk to them like you don't feel like you're above them? which also brings me to something you already know. you're a musical theatre major in your last year, and yet when auditions for wicked came around, you didn't even audition. all because you didn't agree with the show. that was your choice, and you're entitled to it. but you cannot criticize everyone else for lacking commitment when your own commitment to the theatre disappears the moment the vision isn't something you personally believe in or where you can have one of the most prominent roles. once you're out of here, you're going to learn a hard lesson that you'll go nowhere if you're only trying out for roles where you can shine the brightest, if you're not willing to stand back and be someone who can lift up other stars, too. so i do think you've mistaken leadership as leading a group in going exactly where you want. a leader will show up no matter the destination, no matter what happens. they listen to what the people want. they earn the team's trust rather than demand it. and if this is all just about winning to you, then you've already lost. because show choir might be a competition, but new directions is not.
the trophies, they'll collect dust. but it's the people in that choir room that you'll truly remember. all the rehearsals that went too long, the inside jokes, the friends you make, those are the things you'll look back on. this isn't a democracy because it's efficient, it's a democracy because glee club belongs to all of you, not just the loudest voices in the room. so please hear them. i do think that we need to lock in, as the kids say. but let them decide what they want, and you'll need to be okay if it's not your vision. we'll go from there and you'll need to lead them anyway even if you have to swallow your pride. that's how you build trust. that's how you win them. and that's how we'll win.
as a unified group. not your show choir. not your artistic dictatorship. a unified group. we'll be prepared, but you need to let them blossom than force them open for your own satisfaction. make them feel like they can be reach their potential here rather than saying you believe they're capable of amazing things then speak like you need to have control of their autonomy in this group in the same breath, like their stardom is only possible because of you. please get some rest, as i believe you and most of the group were at a party. please enjoy your youth, julian. this might feel like the end of the world right now, but if you keep on believing in people, maybe they'll end up surprising you. i will be there at 10:00am. no earlier. and neither should you. see you at rehearsal. thanks, bobby kelmeckis [ sent from iphone ]
