1시간동안 기댈 어깨 빌려주는 사람.
작은 변화에도 눈치채주는 사람.
엉뚱해서 늘 웃음짓게 만드는 사람.
거짓말따위 하지 않는 사람.
노는 여자는 여러명이여도 사랑하는 여자는 한명뿐인사람.
늘 변화를 시도하는 사람.
자기 허락없이는 아프지도 말라고 하는 사람.
살찐다고 안먹으면 누구한테 이뻐보일라고 그러냐는 사람.
가끔은 속상한소리 하는 사람.
나보다 기념일을 더 잘챙겨주는 사람.
노래를 참 잘부르는 사람.
가끔은 말없이 안아주는 사람.
이래서
내가 사랑할수밖에 없는 남자
One, man the fuck up. Two, you are dumb. Three, what the fuckery is this? Four, GET OUT.
Dear baby boy,
First thing first, I hate you for making me write this sappy shit. You know how terrified I am when It comes to doing anything in public, and this probably is my worst nightmares, along with a few other things but anyway, you are evil, you are terrible, and I hate you. I suck at expressing my feelings and I suck at writing letters, why are you doing this to me? I thought we had something special what is this? I am literally panicking while trying to write you this. No I’m not, yes I am, forreal though, you’d better feel my love because I’m actually doing this, BECAUSE YOU ARE A LITTLE SHITHEAD.
Back to business, this letter is gonna be a mess, oh god, but I’ll try. Where do I even begin? Let’s start with the fact that I never ever would have thought that there would be a day like today, when I’m not just “dumb gorilla” and you are not “jealous little shit”. Well you still are, but that’s another story. Our relationship, It was..complicated, I guess. I never could figure out what It really was, but I know for a fact that you were nothing but a little brat who annoyed the fuck outta me, and no I’m not sorry for saying that, and yes, at one point I did ignore you because man you were annoying, and let’s admit it, you hated me. I lost counts all the names that you called me, fucking bitch, dumb gorilla, old woman (still holding grudges on those things, by the way, thanks for calling me old you little shit), and god knows what else. You wanted to strangle me, kill me, wished that i would fall off a cliff (much love *sheds a tear here*), also lost counts how many times you screamed at my face, and said that you would leave and that we should stop being friends. But I really did care about you, a lot, even when you annoyed me, and I’ve always been here, despite everything, I guess because I just know that you would always come back? For some god knows what reason, I just know you would. And even when you hated me, I just find all of those amusing.
And then you came back, right when I had my heart broken and you told me you have feelings for me. That was a shock alright. I still just thought of you as a younger brother back then, because I was still in love with him, and like I said, you would be the last person I’ve ever thought I’d fall for. But I did. I can’t exactly tell you when was the exact moment I fell for you, but I guess gradually, it grew. Like I told you the other day when we talked, I kept pretending in front of others that I was okay, forcing to smile and laugh but I cried myself to sleep every night because all the memories came back and they hurt me. I was not okay. But somehow you and your constant annoying bothers kept me away from those thoughts. I started to miss him a little less, and I started to smile a little more. You and your stupid little words frustrate me and I wanted to strangle you, but you were there, whenever I cried or needed a shoulder to lean on. You were there hugging me and holding me tight and told me that Bomi It’s going to be okay (It’s Bomi NOONA for you by the way you little shit). And I got used to you being around me, and when you weren’t, I started missing you. And I guess when I saw you being so nice to my friends that was the moment I realize that my heart was slowly healing, and I started falling.
I was scared, really scared when I realized that. I tried to push it away because let’s face it, It’s you and me. We had a complicated past, and the age difference. I hesitated a lot, and my feelings confused me. I didn’t want to hurt you, I still don’t, and I was scared that I would end up hurting you like I hurt my ex, and I didn’t, still don’t, want to go through that whole heartbreak all over again. But everyone told me that I should give myself a chance, because they all could see how happy you make me, how much I start to smile when I’m around you, and how much you love me. And so I did. I stopped trying to push my feelings away and I learned to accept it, and everyday of us being together, It’s a blessing and It makes me really happy. I’m happy when I’m with you.
I think I’m just going to repeat myself again, but I really do know how much you love me, by all the things that you said and everything that you do for me. I know I tease you and bully you and twist your words and give you a hard time every single day and I annoy the life hell outta you, but “you are fucking annoying and I love you to death” is the sweetest thing someone can ever say to me. You never seem to get upset at me no matter what I do and that’s even more reason for me to tease you. I’m whiny and clingy as hell when I’m around you, and I don’t think I’ve ever been this attached to anyone before, I can get upset at you but two seconds later let’s face it I’d go back to you right away because I don’t want to be away from you, I miss you when we stay away from each other for even five minutes like you know when you pee and poop and stop taking an hour to poop like what you doing in there foo?, what I’m trying to say is, I can be without you, but I choose not to. Because I enjoy each and every single moment we spend together.
Wow this is getting really long, but um, I love you, and I love us being together. When I’m with you I laugh a lot, we joke around with each other and we talk about the dumbest and weirdest shit, and I know I always ruin the romantic moment heh c’mon you know I’m a little shit, and I know that we fight a lot too, but even with our fights, at the end of the day I want to be with you and I choose you. I want to be with you, It’s as simple and as complicated as that, despite everything that happened and despite everything that will come in our ways in the future. Thank you, for everything. Even when you think that you aren’t doing a good job or that you are a shit who fucks things up and yeah we upset each other at times, but you have done so much. I’m not gonna list again all the things that you did ‘cos c’mon how long do you want this letter to be, but thank you for healing my broken heart and putting my smile back on my face. Thank you for being friends with my best friends too and for making them to like you and wanting their approvals. I know that I’m not perfect like let’s be real here I’m a huge little shit, I totally suck at this whole romantic relationship thing and I will continue being one whiny clingy annoying loud violent girlfriend, and I know that I’m not the best but I’ll try my best for you. We know each other’s past and we tell each other everything, I want you to know that I’ll try my best to give you the love you deserve. I want to see you happy, and I want to be the reasons behind all your smile and your laughters, because you are mine.
Okay seriously, I feel hella gay right now and I’m going to strangle you for making me do this, but I love you, okay? Don’t ever forget that, even when we can’t stand each other and we want to strangle the other. We probably are gonna fight a lot lot more in the future, but don’t let me go, as I won’t let go of your hands. I might tease you and make you jealous a lot, but I chose you, and I will choose you over and over again, I only see you and no one else, my heart belongs to you, and so does everything else. I might not be your first kiss, your first love, as your aren’t mine, but let’s be each other’s last everything. I love you, always and forever.
- Yours.
p/s: If you cry after reading this I’m dumping your ass. Goodbye.
I'm not exactly sure where to start here, but I just wanted to say that I love you. I know I say this a lot already, but I feel like I need to say it more. Like if I don't say it constantly, you'll start to think I don't- love you anymore. I love you in the morning when you're cranky and clingy, I love you in the evening when you're needy and don't want to sleep, and keep me up all night hah. I love you when you're frisky ayee B), and when you're upset and just want my attention. I love you when you're mad, when you're glad, when you're violently homicidal. `laughs; I just- love you. Through thick and thin, no matter what goes on between us, or what happens in the future, I'll always do my best to keep you happy, and let you know that I love you every single day of my life. Because you only deserve the best and that's what I want to give you. I'm giving you everything I have, simply because I love you. My heart, my trust, my words, my arms to hold you when you're upset, my love, my life, my everything. Shit, even my clothes because you look hella cute in them. I spoil you because I love you, so stop complaining about it and let me show you everything, every side of me. Everything I own, everything I am, everything I feel, it's all yours. I'm yours and you are mine.
I can't promise you that I'll never hurt you, or that we'll never have fights, but what I can promise you is that I'll always try my hardest to be good to you, and to take care of your heart. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy, to make you laugh. I'll take care of you from now on.
