((so after watching Chicago, this happened...))
[In scanty small clothes, six WOMEN step out from the shadows]
And now the six merry murderesses of Crossroad Keep
In their rendition of 'The Cell Block Tango'
Snivel! Tyr! Spike! Uh uh! No fury! Undead!
Snivel! Tyr! Spike! Uh uh! No fury! Undead!
Snivel! Tyr! Spike! Uh uh, No fury! Undead!
WOMEN, in chorus:
He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same
Snivel! Tyr! Spike! Uh uh! No fury! Undead!
Snivel! Tyr! Spike! Uh uh, No fury! Undead!
You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like Sand. Sand liked to sniff. No, not sniff. Snivel.
So, I came in one day, and I’m really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy, and there's Sand. Poring over his alchemy bench, stirring a solution, and sniffing. Not, not sniffing. Snivelling. So I said to him, I said, “You snivel those sinuses one more time...” and he did.
So I raised my hands, and chanted a bit. And I fired two warning spells... both Meteor Swarms.
He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there, if you'd have heard it
I betcha you would have done the same
I met Casavir, the Katalmach from Old Owl Well, about two months ago. And he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away. So, we started travelling together.
We'd go out and kill things, we'd come home and relax, we'd have dinner. But it became clear... single, he told me. Single, my fine ass! Not only was he obsessed, but he just didn’t have room for anything else but Tyr. One of those paladins, you know.
So that night, when we came back from Luskan, I fixed him a drink to celebrate. You know... some guys just can't hold their arsenic.
He had it coming, he had it coming
He took a flower in its prime
And then he bored it and he ignored it
It was a murder but not a crime!
Now, I'm standing in the armory, polishing up the old morningstar, minding my own business. In storms that ranger Bishop in a jealous rage. "You been screwing the paladin!" he says. He was crazy and he kept on screaming, "You been screwing the paladin!"
Then he ran into my morningstar. He ran into my morningstar ten times.
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same
I don’t understand. They say I murdered many in my Crusade, but I never hurt anyone. They followed me, and they chose freely to help bring down the Wall. I’m not a murderer.
GROBNAR: Yeah, but did you do it?
KAELYN: Uh uh, not guilty!
TORIO: I’ve been staying in this Keep for a while now, and it is very short on desirable company. A woman has needs, you know? Not just for a little rumpy-pumpy, but power. I thought that I could make something out of Nevalle, and I suggested it to him.
Once, twice, three times, four – dalliances, liaisons, consorting, romps... Well, he just kept turning me down, and I... they say the Hells hath no fury, right? So I thought I’d give him one last chance.
So he was up in his tower when I turn up in my best dress. I come in, open the door... and there he is with some blonde... dallying.
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing, it wasn't until later, when I realised I’d lost a spell slot, that I even knew I’d sent him to another world.
They had it coming, they had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn't do it, but if I’d done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
I loved Illindriel more than I could possibly say. He was a real artistic guy, sensitive, for a necromancer. But he was always making things with bodies. He’d go around chopping them up, harvesting their bit and pieces... And while he was at it, he got a bone golem, a bone pile, and a boner. For his undead.
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead.
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
They had it coming, they had it coming
They had it coming all along
'Cause if they used us and they abused us
How could they tell us that we were wrong?
He had it coming, he had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same
SAFIYA: You snivel those sinuses one more time.
ISOLDE: Single, my butt.
KASH: Ten times!
KAELYN: They chose freely.
TORIO: No fury.
OPHELIA: Artistic differences.
I betcha you would have done the same
Snivel! Tyr! Spike! Uh uh! No fury! Undead!
