Feb 26
not sure the conqueror was so great but at least he knows jaehaerys wasn't shit
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not sure the conqueror was so great but at least he knows jaehaerys wasn't shit
What term should we use to describe Jaime Lannister's relation to Cersei's kids?
funcle (father + uncle)
duncle (dad/daddy + uncle)
puncle (papa/pop + uncle)
bifuncle (bio!father/birth!father + uncle)
suncle (sire + uncle)
seeuncle ('seed' + uncle)
spuncle (sperm + uncle)
other compound i haven't thought of (in tags if you will)
[...]"Shall I proclaim a new king as well?" Crakehall asked, and Jaime read the question plain: Shall it be your father, or Robert Baratheon, or do you mean to try to make a new dragonking? He thought for a moment of the boy Viserys, fled to Dragonstone, and of Rhaegar's infant son Aegon, still in Maegor's with his mother. A new Targaryen king, and my father as Hand. How the wolves will howl, and the storm lord choke with rage. For a moment he was tempted, until he glanced down again at the body on the floor, in its spreading pool of blood. His blood is in both of them, he thought. -Jaime II, aSoS [...]Why shouldn't I marry Cersei openly and share her bed every night? The dragons always married their sisters. Septons, lords, and smallfolk had turned a blind eye to the Targaryens for hundreds of years, let them do the same for House Lannister. It would play havoc with Joffrey's claim to the crown, to be sure, but in the end it had been swords that had won the Iron Throne for Robert, and swords could keep Joffrey there as well, regardless of whose seed he was. We could marry him to Myrcella, once we've sent Sansa Stark back to her mother. That would show the realm that the Lannisters are above their laws, like gods and Targaryens. -Jaime III, aSoS
jaime lannister: man, targs be crazy. good thing they're all gone now.
also jaime (a few days later): targs were gods above the laws of men and we lannisters are the same. my kids and i can carry on all their grand incestuous traditions.
i like how at some point the elves renamed sauron (just as melkor was renamed morgoth) and from then on their name(s) were "his right name". the dark lord was deadnaming himself by going by mairon or anything else not describing how vile, stinky, and abhorrent he was.
sequels of blockbuster movies that took a level in ridiculousness which only made them better
the mummy returns: aka the cinematic debut of dwayne 'the rock' johnson where he's actually credited as the rock playing the scorpian king. also the one where rachel weisz fights the mummy's hot girlfriend.
charlie's angels: full throttle: been a while since i watched the first one all the way but i feel like it took itself a bit more seriously and didn't have as much juvenile sexual innuendo
national treasure: book of secrets: the original already played fast and loose with history but left enough facts for teenagers and other dumb people to be impressed by the knowledge of nicolas cage's character, benjamin franklin gates. with the sequel, most of the general audience cannot be fooled by the city of gold being hidden under mt. rushmore and queen victoria having something to do with a clue to the treasure. the craziness of the plot just brings to mind andy samberg on snl doing an impression of nic cage's character saying 'i'm gonna impregnate the statue of liberty.'
mamma mia! here we go again: this movie doesn't even pretend to have much of plot or a reason for each song. cher is there! (despite being only a few years older than meryl streep and not matching the previous movie's one line about donna's mother at all) and a guy at the hotel turns out to be her long-lost ex-lover! he's named fernando, just so they can sing a duet of the ABBA song fernanado. is meryl streep in this movie or not? don't worry your pretty little head about it, just enjoy colin firth dancing and lily james being cute.
gah, natalie, who'd already witnessed so much violence at home, who already had survivor's guilt which likely affected her drug use pre-crash. natalie, who stopped them all from being murderers the first time they tried a ritual killing, when they could at least say it wasn't really them 'cause of the shrooms. natalie, who felt the most guilty about eating jackie and looked the most reluctant, then being the only one to take responsibility despite also being the only one with a legitimate reason to have a grudge against jackie before her death. natalie, who kept them all fed for the first months and kept trudging out for hours in the snows through winter and got blamed for the loss of game, almost dying trying to get that moose and being more upset about that loss of (non-human) food for the whole group than her own near death. natalie, who had to watch everyone hold up lottie as the true provider as they put her down, all bc of her weird power over that bear when all her rituals are made up on the fly and in rational, practical terms she should not be much more useful than jackie, certainly not more valuable than the actual hunter physically laboring for them for hours every day. and despite all of that she still cared for lottie and felt guilty when their dumb competition also almost killed her too. she had to watch shauna beat lottie to a bloody pulp after living through all of that with her father. she looked like she wanted most to intervene like she had against her father and the only reason she couldn't was lottie's own choice which the other girls all wanted to honor. and despite thinking it might be better if lottie just died from that beating she agreed to take part in a ritual meant to ensure that anyone other than the already gravely wounded girl, anyone other than the prophet they refused to lose, would be the next to die and be eaten. the only demand she made was for shauna to look her in the eye as she slit her throat, to take responsibility as nat herself would have. if travis, the boy whose life she saved who later transferred his loyalty to the girl who once ordered his death, had not intervened, she would have stayed there and left her fate in shauna's hands for the good of all the friends she'd always tried so hard to feed. she only runs once they all make the active choice to hunt her, to murder her as prey, not as willing sacrifice. even still, when javi falls trying to lead her to safety, she does not hesitate to stay and try to save him. even when the other girls are right behind her and she had to know before misty told her that they'd just kill her after saving javi. she had to know her danger before misty said it yet still all she wanted was a brief reprieve to save this boy who was trying to save her. this boy, whose death she once faked, mostly out of kindness. this same boy who was brother of the one who'd just saved her in the cabin. she only left that cabin after travis intervened and only let go of his brother after misty intervened, both fighting to stop her from self-sacrifice, making her culpable in the death of javi instead. another shared guilt out there on the ice, like at the snackie bbq feast, or inside as they all stood aside to let lottie take her near-fatal beating. always natalie the most reluctant yet the most guilty. self-sacrificing and self-loathing in every timeline. even in shauna's death-dream she looked the most reluctant to eat that dream baby! natalie, natalie, natalie!
of the s1 yellowjackets lines that hit differently in hindsight, this exchange has to be the funniest.
(Happy) Stark Reunions