I want to preface this by saying the following statement is going to be incredibly selfish. I understand that this situation is not about me, but I still want to speak on Pressure as someone who was pretty involved within the community. I want to air out the last of my grievances as I say goodbye to Pressure. Sometime has passed since my last post, and this was originally written the week I was meant to come back; this will be a slightly edited version of my original statement. After this, i will not be commentating on future developments. I still encourage people to wait for Ren's new document to come out. We should allow her the time and patience to share her experience. Her voice is important and should be heard.
I also understand there is some fighting surrounding the current situation, so i want to make my stance clear, that I still support Ren. I do not believe Zeal's statement mitigates Ren's experience.
Im really unsure how to start this..
Spring break ended on the 13th.
The most surprising part of this for me was how much the grieving process is so similar to all the times I've grieved real people in my life. That sounds weird.. cuz this a roblox game. But this also a game that I spent over half a year dedicating my life to. I used to get excited to wake up everyday just to draw Sebastian. It's honestly the thing that inspired me to keep on drawing. I;ve been unemployed for two years now, the job market is so bad Five Below wont even hire my ass. But this gave me something to do everyday, especially since I had to drop out of art school due to being.. very poor. I hate to sound like a broken record, but Pressure was my favorite, my absolute favorite, thing ever. And i'm not going to pretend like this doesn't suck. This sucks. A lot.
I don't have much to add to the conversation surrounding the Pressure devs; everything that I could say has already been said by other people. But I want to come back to that post I made back in November when the Writing Division discourse had happened. At the time I thought what I was doing was the right thing. I defended them with good intentions. But of course with all the things that have come to light, it just puts everything under a new context. I still agree with what I said. The writers did not deserve to be harassed over misinformation, but the writers should have never incited harassed and vague posted about how artists drew Lia. I am not saying that in the current time I am defending them. I do not support them currently.
As for my interactions with the Pressure team concerning the piece they commissioned from me, there is not much that can be said. I was paid the rate I asked, I asked for payment upfront and got it, and I was aware of the time constraint and still choose to do it anyway because I know I'm a fast worker. This should not take away from the many many other artists who did not get paid, were exploited and manipulated for free art, and over worked. Kat included a link to contact them in their document/response if you were commissioned by them and not paid. This, unfortunately, does not include the artists and employees who were not paid by Zeal. While in contact with the team, I also noticed the same "bunny talk" that was used with Ren being used with me. I do not believe this was done with the intent to manipulate, but it is important to know that this way of talking was a very real language that the team used with not only each other but other people.
To add onto what was said above, I did see cotgar's post regarding how Sebastian's heritage was not at all thought about in his character design beyond his skin color; the only thing I can add to this is I was also shown the same pictures of said Kpop idol in the creation of my piece. As a Chilean, this is heartbreaking. It's disgusting and horrible. I loved Sebastian, his representation of being an alt Latino was very dear to me as it not only represented myself but my dad. They're both Chilean, alt and into more grungy styles, they listen to the same music, "married" young, used to skateboard, play guitar, both went into a trade, never finished college, and went through very very traumatizing experiences. It's actually pretty uncanny how similar they are. Most of my personal characterizations and headcanons for Sebastian and his family was inspired by my dad and my family. It's sad knowing that the community cared about Sebastian's identity more than his creator. Mi gente no son tu estética.
As one final goodbye, I want to upload every canvas I've ever worked on during my time as a Pressure artist. This will include wips and ideas and plans I had. This will mostly be doodles you guys have already seen, but hopefully you guys can still get something out of it despite that. I will also upload all the writing I've done for my characters and the world i was building. I'm sad that I wont get to finish these projects, but I do not want all my time and efforts to not be seen. I will send it all out like a viking funeral and set it on fire (metaphorically).
The Writing Division QnA doc will also stay up as an archive as the server has now been nuked.
I want to thank Ren for coming out and sharing her story. If I'm remembering her words correctly, this was the final step in her healing process, and we are all very proud of her. As much as it hurts to lose something so dear, I would never want to support a person who committed a horrible crime against another person. I will continue to support her, as we all should. Streaming her music is encouraged as all proceeds go to her and Zeroh.
I want to thank the members of the dev team, VAs, and artists who made the game possible. Many of them did not know about Ren's sexual assault. They are all very talented people and I will eagerly await the future projects they choose to work on.
And I want to thank all the people that I met on here. To all my mutuals who I love very much and inspire me-- You are all so cool and awesome and it's such an honor to know all of you. You guys are honestly some of the most creative people I've ever met. And you're all so kind. I hope despite everything, all of you can keep on creating. I will continue to follow and support you as we all move forward.
And to all my followers, I owe you a big thanks as well. Thank you all for the support you've shown me through all this, your kindness has definitely helped me feel better. It always made me smile and laugh whenever you guys reposted my art with tags; and your support was of course a great motivator for me to continue posting and creating. I still have to respond to your messages, and I might not get to everyone, but please know that I've read all you have sent me. Thank you all for liking my art
As for the future of this account, like I said previously, I will keep my past work up as an archive. It is honestly some of my best work. I will be pivoting to what I was doing before this, which was original content involving my OCs. I honestly would not expect much fanart from this point forward, maybe a piece here and there like before, but i will probably not be creating under a fandom. I hope you guys enjoy what I have in store, this is all work I've spent years on but never really shared.
My Pressure OCs will be repurposed for other stories. I believe their themes and the message I intended to share using them should not be clouded by the actions of the Pressure team. I've seen other people share their redesigns and "OC-ify-cation" of Pressure characters, and I'm in full support of that. While I originally planned to not do that, I've been working on a project that I've been really liking so far. Im probably not going to share anything about it any time soon, but it is something I am working on in the background.
I will hopefully be back as of now, though expect a slower posting schedule. My last Pressure post will be coming in a few days. It will take some time to gather everything I have ever worked on, since there is also a lot of traditional pieces.
Why can't you say that you want it too?
I'm flying intercontinental with you
rising from the dead for a really quick edit ft. @deykxn's brooks rockwell!!! because he's the most american (hot hot) boy to me (i don't even know if he's american....)
notes: just smut. handjobs, touchy feely. no plot. im rusty asf. uses she/her and Y/N. requested, but the request had two requests: I don't know if this is simple lol, but having Adrian between your legs, jerking him off while you're keeping his thighs spread apart with yours. He's a yappy mess. 🤭
Somehow, but not much of a surprise, the small cuddle session turned into Adrian and Y/N ‘accidentally’ having their hands explore each other’s bodies. Both careful, their eyes flickering over each other features to confirm they’re not bothering the other person too much. “Sorry,” Adrian huffed, his hands brushing over Y/N’s rear–even squeezing the skin lightly. He’s testing the waters, somehow ignoring the fact that Y/N’s legs are wrapped around his muscular thigh, mindfully rubbing herself against him. “It’s okay, hun,” she breathed out softly.
The two were closely intertwined, though what was supposed to be a nap had turned into something else. They’d had a long day. The apartment was dark, the heat building between the sheets with their soft movements and gentle breaths.
Equally, they were wrapped around each other’s fingers, neither wanting to admit it.
Then Adrian noticed Y/N’s movements, his hands realizing that they were following the motion of her hips–oh. “You’re so wet,” he stated bluntly, quietly, but delighted at the idea of where things would lead. Her eyes widened, not quite realising how lost in the moment she got. “Sorry,” she whispered, stopping herself. As she’s about to move her legs away from him, he gripped her hips and dragged them up and down for her. “Don’t stop, babe–no, please,” he practically pleaded for her to continue.
Finally, it turns into hushed moans, shifting between the covers. It’s as if the two had a tango practiced and memorized. Adrian would put her in the position he wants her in–and rarely does she deny it. She knew better than to stop her man from his vision–well, unless it was a bit impractical or unknowingly to him, illegal.
Except, tonight, she wanted to be in control. She adjusted her legs around his, keeping his thighs separated. His eyebrow quivered, the rhythm shifted, he wasn’t sure what to do. He had it all planned out–at least he planned it thirty seconds ago. Y/N continued to jerk him off, both of her hands participating. One juggled, caressing his balls, while the other stroked him. Her thumb occasionally swipes over the tip to smear the precum.
“Y/N–I–Oh,” he couldn’t even form proper sentences. His brows furrowed together, looking down at his girlfriend. His arms supported him up, his muscle taunt, admiring Y/N below him. If he wasn’t so focused on how her hands felt so soft, how he adored the twisting motion–he would be picturing other things Y/N could do to him from this angle.
His hips bucked up. “I–Y/N, you look so good beneath me–and I mean, really good,” he began to ramble. She hummed, her eyes dilated, filled with lust for him. She could feel him try to shut his legs, but she spread her legs wider to prevent it, “Adrian, keep ‘em open for me,” she whispered.
“Doesn’t it feel good?”
“It feels so fucking good, babe–I–,” he moaned, tilting his head back as she picked up at the pace at his praise. “I’d let you do this any day, any time–are you free tomorrow? Or do you have work–fuck, Y/N,” he moans filled their shared bedroom. “Like that–yeah, yeah,” his hands clenched the bedsheets.
His glasses slipped down the bridge of his nose. Adrian’s unable to keep himself together, his hips trying to jut furthermore into her hands. His muscular physique trembled, his abdomen growing tighter, flexing. The features of his face tightened, before a flurry of grunts echoed and his cum painting her bare chest. She waited a few more pumps before she released her grip on his length and moved her thighs away from his, to relax.
Adrian didn’t even care, laying himself down on top of her, rough hands exploring her body once more. He pressed his face into the crook of her neck, “I can never get enough of you,” he mumbled, voice strained.
