#(talking is important)

[emaaa3210]

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

Communocation is the main key for great relationship🥰🥰❤❤💜💜💜

PS: that kiss was kinda sweet😚😚❤

[omensvessel]

i just dropped two long-term (neurotypical) “best” friends of mine because apparently they thought our friendships were incredibly toxic from my end and they were deeply unhappy to the point where they ghosted me for months, without ever telling me what i did wrong until the last fucking second

(which, by the way, only ONE of the two actually said what they thought went wrong. the other just said “i don’t even think you know why the friendship was toxic” NO FUCKING SHIT. YOU DIDNT TELL ME?)

so i guess another hot take of mine is that if you’re unhappy with something i’m doing but you won’t tell me, i didn’t fucking do anything wrong and i will not be held accountable for something that made you upset but you didn’t tell me about

i am not a mind reader. i cannot know something that YOU are feeling unless you tell me. if you won’t do that and still complain that the friendship was toxic, you are immature as fuck and do not deserve my time of day, or anyone’s for that matter

i told both of them that i am autistic and need to be told explicitly when i’m doing something that bothers them. if they don’t communicate, i’m not the one at fault. if they’re wishy-washy in the way they tell me (as in, not literally “xyz that you’re doing makes me uncomfortable/upset/unhappy. please stop”), i will not understand it and therefore won’t correct it

MULTIPLE other friends i’ve had have told me when i fuck up. i take accountability for it. i apologise, i fix my damn behaviour, and i make sure that the way i fixed it is okay with them. if it’s not, i repeat that until i get it right. those friendships have lasted from ages 7, 8, 9 or younger. they’re neurodivergent like me. they understand that communication is something you have to fucking do if you value a relationship

for ALL of my friendships, i have been open when i’m made upset by something that the person did. only SOME of my friends had corrected their mistakes. like for example when one of the friends mentioned here LITERALLY CHOKED ME UNTIL I NEARLY FAINTED, i told him “that was not fucking okay. do not ever put your hands or arms near my neck again”. did he listen? no, he did it again a few days later.

and when i told my other friends “(name) did this to me. i do not feel safe around him, and i feel extremely uncomfortable knowing that all my friends are close with him. i’m not asking you to stop being friends with him, but can we please avoid him when we’re hanging out?” all of them EXCEPT the other friend i mentioned in the beginning agreed to do that for me. because they are good friends. and they support me, and i support them. i have dropped and limited contact with long-term friends because they made my other friends uncomfortable. because that’s what good friends do.

you cannot expect your friends to know every thought and feeling that goes through your head. i am sick to fucking death of being blamed for mistakes THAT I WAS NOT MADE AWARE OF.

if you can’t tell your “friend” that they’re doing something that upsets you, you shouldn’t have deep relationships. it’s shitty fucking behaviour and you will lose friends over it.

i am so fucking glad i’m out of high school but i know most adults cant fucking communicate either so just fuck me i guess

[heyimboredtalktome]

hey I have a question, if you don’t mind.

I have a friend (who I’m just going to call X). X uses the neopronouns babe/babes. Now because of the word of the neopronouns, as an aroace I feel kinda uncomfortable using them for X, due to the very obvious connotations they may have. I feel so awful about this, but how is it offensive if I ask to use gender neutral/other pronouns for X, and how do I go about it? Please help.

hmm I think you should talk to your friend about this, just ask whether X is okay with you using other pronouns or ask X if there are any other pronouns they're comfortable with