THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL. — 200 sentences from season one, episode one of the amazon prime tv series. change pronouns etc as needed. content warnings for alcohol and drug use, allusions to the holocaust, disordered eating and body image issues, infidelity, sex.
countdown to season four
“Never listen to me, I’m nuts.”
“Holy fuzzy Christ balls!”
“All of these marvelous adventures were simply the preamble to my ultimate destiny.”
“I was going to meet a man - a perfect man.”
“Best buildup since Iceman Cometh.”
“[Name] was my knight in shining armour.”
“This is the guy I wanted you to see.”
“I’m getting loaded.”
“I wanna make you laugh every day of your life.”
“I have been very lucky.”
“Yes, there is shrimp in the egg rolls.”
“My mother fainted, then called four people, then fainted again.”
“We got the rabbi!”
“Perfect. You are perfect.”
“What am I, a braggart?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll fix it.”
“We will fix it.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I’ll be laughing about that spoon for a week.”
“I see you acting ridiculous all day long.”
“I have a cab waiting downstairs.”
“My God, with the one track mind.”
“Let the master work.”
“They should find a vaccine for morons.”
“That’s a lot of health issues. Your family might wanna eat some fruit.”
“I’ll take that into consideration.”
“I make great latkes, genius latkes!”
“You won’t be sorry!”
“Where’s my kiss?”
“Sort of a drag, huh?”
“You know them small Pennsylvania towns - you seen one, you seen ‘em all.”
“Don’t you see that’s part of the image?”
“I need an audience. I feed off an audience.”
“ ‘Nice’ is a bad, bad word.”
“All that applause for me? What am I, putting out after?”
“One standing ovation, everyone goes home pregnant.”
“A garnish can be festive, but deadly.”
“Did the alarm go off?”
“Can I get you some coffee?”
“We need to talk about the baby.”
“That forehead is not improving.”
“The nose is not the problem. The nose you can fix.”
“I’m just afraid she’s not a very pretty girl.”
“I just want her to be happy.”
“It’s easier to be happy when you’re pretty.”
“It’s fine just the way it is.”
“If you need money, we can give you money.”
“How long are you going to be doing this, running around at night taking money from strangers?”
“As long as it’s fun.”
“Just because there is a door does not mean you use it. A door does not represent infinite possibilities. ”
“Just because there is a door does not mean you use it..”
“A door does not represent infinite possibilities.”
“She’s going on and on about this miracle treatment she had done in Mexico. It involved goat’s milk and avocados.”
“She thinks she looks twenty, I think she looks the same.”
“There’s not enough daiquiris in the world.”
“I made curry, and ordered Chinese in case it’s awful.”
“You’re not gonna believe this.”
“I’m mad. Aren’t you mad?”
“I feel a little silly now.”
“Do you know something I don’t?”
“It’s downtown. If you have underwear on, you’re overdressed.”
“Have a cup of coffee, calm down.”
“Anything you can do would be great.”
“Everyone here looks like Allen Ginsberg.”
“This place is perfectly filthy.”
“A starving artist never pays.”
“The one who looks like she lives under a bridge.”
“God, no. Who would ask?”
“Don’t need to go to Spokane now.”
“He’s very Avant Garde.”
“Can I get you anything?”
“I have to go. I have to leave.”
“I have to leave. You. I have to leave you.”
“That’s my suitcase.”
“Nobody’s happy, it’s Yom Kippur.”
“I don’t know how to do this. I’m not good at things like this.”
“I thought my life was going to be something different. I thought I was going to be someone different.”
“I thought my life was going to be something different.”
“I thought I was going to be someone different.”
“Tonight was just so terrible.”
“It was one stupid night.”
“You’re jealous of the rabbi?”
“Did you ever think you were supposed to be something, and you suddenly realise you’re not?”
“I never knew you were serious about it.”
“What the hell ever made you think I wasn’t serious?”
“Do you know what a dream is? A dream is what keeps you going in a job you hate.”
“Do you know what a dream is?”
“A dream is what keeps you going in a job you hate.”
“You can’t just leave. I love you.”
“I will be better. I will do better.”
“You’re leaving me for a girl who can’t figure out how to sharpen pencils?”
“Don’t you understand? I need to start over.”
“I just don’t want this life.”
“So you’ll tell your parents for me?”
“That might be the funniest thing you’ve ever said.”
“You’re gonna ride off into the sunset with your half-wit secretary.”
“Can I just say that you have the worst timing ever?”
“Go on. Get out.”
“Going on a trip?”
“What are you wearing?”
“I have something to tell you.”
“[Name] left. He packed up my suitcase, and he left. He’s gone.”
“He’s in love with his secretary.”
“Oh my God, is she pregnant?”
“Did you talk like that around him? Did you use sailor talk?”
“A man doesn’t leave unless the girlfriend is pregnant.”
“What the hell is he doing in there?”
“Why are you mad? I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“When I agreed to send you to that fancy goyishe college, what was the one thing I told you?”
“What was the one thing I told you?”
“They’ll have terrible deli.”
“Don’t pick a weak man.”
“This isn’t my fault!”
“Of course it’s your fault. Everything we bring on ourselves is our own fault.”
“For the love of God, please stop crying in that bedroom.”
“Life isn’t fair. It’s hard and cruel.”
“You have to pick your friends as if there’s a war going on.”
“You want a husband who’ll take a bullet for you, not one who points to the attic and says ‘They’re up there!’.”
“I knew what he was.”
“When you first came home with him, that night. I looked at you, I asked: ‘Is this the choice?’.”
“Is this the choice?”
“I have to spell it out for you?”
“You cannot survive this.”
“You need a husband.”
“You fix your face, put on his favourite dress. Then you go out, find him, and make him come back home.”
“It’s miserable out here.”
“It’s miserable in there.”
“I left my Pyrex here. I’d like it back.”
“This place gets so weird late.”
“So this is it, huh? This is the dream.”
“I couldn’t get a clean slate for one fucking day.”
“There are so many questions spinning around in my head.”
“Why wasn’t I enough?”
“I’m sorry, I’m a little drunk.”
“It’s all gone. Everything I’ve counted on is gone.”
“So my life completely fell apart today.”
“Did I mention that my husband left me?”
“She’s twenty-one, and dumb as a Brillo pad.”
“I’m not naïve. I know that men like stupid girls.”
“I thought [Name] wanted more than stupid. I thought he wanted spontaneity, and wit. I thought he wanted to be challenged.”
“You two are going to be together forever.”
“I loved him. And I showed him I loved him.”
“All that shit they say about Jewish girls in the bedroom? Not true.”
“There are French whores standing around the Marais District saying ‘did you hear what [Name] did to [Name]’s balls the other night?’”
“I can’t believe this is happening.”
“I’m officially losing my mind, which is perfect.”
“Now I will be alone and crazy, the famous mad divorcée of [Place].”
“Do you know I’ve seen her twice with her shirt on inside out?”
“You can only be trusted to butter people’s corn at the county fair.”
“I know this is shallow, and petty, and small.”
“She’s not even that pretty.”
“Her ankles and her calves are the same width.”
“I’m sorry, but look at me - I am the same size now that I was at my wedding.”
“Who wouldn’t want to come home to this every night?”
“Maybe today’s not the best day to judge, I’ve been crying and my face is all puffy.”
“There’s no fucking way that [Name] can compete with these tits.”
“She doesn’t know the rules.”
“You bailed me out?”
“My good deed for the year.”
“Twenty minutes can change you.”
“I’m a con now. I’ve got a rap sheet. I’m hard. I’m a hard, used woman.”
“Is my hair grey? It feels grey.”
“I had it all. I had everything I’d always wanted, and now it’s all falling apart.”
“They look so happy. Are they high?”
“I’m so tired. I don’t think I’ve ever been so tired.”
“Do you notice I'm not wearing my own shoes?”
“If you’re still upset about your husband, don’t be. The guy was a fraud and a loser.”
“Everybody steals, right?”
“I’m telling you, there is definitely something there.”
“I don’t have an act.”
“Tonight was an isolated incident. There are medications I can take to make sure that never happens again.”
“I know I’m right about this.”
“Unless I somehow get rich enough to hire some German broad to walk me around the park twice a day in my old age, I’m gonna spend my entire life alone.”
“I don’t mind being alone. I just do not want to be insignificant.”
“Don’t you wanna do something no one else can do?”
“When did I become a member of the Communist Party?”
“Do I have money? I do not have money.”
“You don’t have a very long lease, do you? Because you should move.”
“We’ve already got penicillin, you don’t need to grow it.”
“Just take your things and leave, [Name].”
“I had three joints in my wallet.”
“If you guys have some coke back there, we could have a hell of a party.”
“You’re not my wife.”
“Do you love it?”
“I’ve been doing it a while.”
“Let’s put it like this: if there was anything else in the entire world that I could possibly do to earn a living, I would. Anything. It’s a terrible, terrible job. It should not exist - like cancer, and God. ”
“If there was anything else in the entire world that I could possibly do to earn a living, I would.”
“It’s a terrible, terrible job. It should not exist - like cancer, and God.”
“It should not exist - like cancer, and God.”
“Yeah. He loves it.”
