#* gabriel lorca.

[anarcalina]

         // @starsdestined​​ sent,  ❝ you keep your eyes closed no matter what you hear. you don’t open them. you promise? ❞

         ❛ Y’know, in another time and place... ❜    He lets the suggestive comment hang, corner of his lip quirked in a wry smile. Yet for all the apparent unconcern, the seeming disregard for their present situation, still he obeys. He knows her plan, anticipates the blinding light sure to inflict an agony that will incapacitate for far longer than they can afford. 

          Yet he hates the uselessness, the helplessness, that washes over him with eyes closed and bound to remain closed. Gabriel drops his former remark in favor of serious acknowledgment.    ❛ Just get it done quickly. I’m no good to you or anyone blundering around with my eyes shut. ❜

[anarcalina]

         // @sadnessruns​ sent,  “ even sadistic, immoral assholes get old. ”

          He’d groaned as he hauled himself to his feet, thrown unceremoniously upon the floor before captors left, sealing the door behind them. Limbs had moved slowly, a sluggish response to his mind’s commands. He straightens slowly as Stamets speaks, and he grits his teeth, jaw clenching in frustration as much directed at himself as at his companion. Of all people to find himself in this mess with, of course it would have to be the scientist...

         ❛ Yes, very clever, Mister Stamets. Point well taken. ❜    He drawls the words, scarcely resisting the roll of the eyes that he so very much wishes to allow to accompany them. He prides himself on the restraint, especially given the soreness that throbs through a body no longer young enough to take a beating without protest.    ❛ Do you have something useful to contribute to the situation, or are you planning to just sit there and insult me? ❜

[anarcalina]

         // @starsdestined​ sent,  “ i didn’t know you were in here. ”

         ❛ I couldn’t stand another moment of that inane bickering. ❜    The dispute had dragged on for the full day, admirals and captains alike with their own opinions, each more obtuse than the last. After the first few hours, the discussion had done nothing but rehash old arguments, spinning in a circle that spiraled ever and ever smaller, constricting until he wanted to yell at the lot of them just to have some momentary peace. A few seconds of hushed silence before the repercussions... No, it was better that he’d slipped out found a quiet room where he might stand in the darkness, staring out a window into the vastness of space. 

          He turned his head from the view beyond to glance at her, a wry and bitter smile playing about his lips.    ❛ I don’t suppose any of them developed common sense in the last twenty minutes. ❜

[anarcalina]

         // @starsdestined​ sent,  ❝ you’re safe with me. you can let go. breathe. ❞

         ❛ I don’t think any of us are safe anymore, not truly. ❜    It’s not her point — or maybe it is. He’s lost perspective, lost anything save the paranoia that he remains convinced will see him, and his crew, through the hell of the war. 

          And maybe they never had been safe. Maybe safety had only ever been an illusion, and them too young to see the world, the vast expanse of space, for what it was. Yet, if Gabriel could not bring about true safety, he would content himself with restoring the mere illusion of it. He refuses to believe the illusion shattered forever, refuses to accept that he will spend the rest of his days on guard against every hint of a threat.    ❛ I’ll breathe when this is all over, Kat, and not before. ❜    He’ll breathe when the crusade is over, when no one need carry a torch through the darkest night. When faltering, even for a blink of an eye, did not risk catastrophe. 

[anarcalina]

         // @starsdestined​ sent,  ❝ when  was  the  last  time  you  slept ? ❞

         ❛ Why do you ask questions you’re not going to like the answer to? ❜    Yet he speaks without accusation, with the slightest twitch at the corner of his lips. A question for a question, as if parrying the attack so would easily deflect her from the matter. He knows better, knows that she’ll inevitably press, demand the answer he would slip around. It’s not a pretty number, far too high for his liking and bound to draw her displeasure. Yet they might as well skip straight to the displeasure, for Gabriel refuses to believe that Kat, of all people, truly needs his answer to know that that is where the conversation is inevitably bound. 

[anarcalina]

         // @astraldestiny​ sent,  “ fate is a fucking lie. ”

         ❛ Poetic, Commander. ❜    For any save her, the drawl would bear only signs of irritation, impatience. Instead, there’s the faintest quirk to the corner of his lip, hints of amusement in the wry glance he casts her.     ❛ I’d ask if you’re sure it’s a lie or if it’s just a waste of time, but I’m not sure either of us is actually interested in arguing philosophy. ❜    And, he supposes, ultimately they might be one and the same, a waste of time for the deceit fate offers, promises of destined futures. Fate was little more than a balm for those too afraid to face reality, to face existence, head on. 

          No, he decided. ‘ A fucking lie ’ was close enough. Simpler, more to the point. She’d get no argument from him.

[anarcalina]

         // @starsdestined​ sent,  “ you know you can tell me anything. right? ”

                  Yes.    No.

          The worst thing, Gabriel thought, about the question was that it boxed him all too efficiently into a corner. He could not say yes to placate her without her pressing further, seeking to extract from him all that she knew he had danced around since the Buran. To say no, however, would not only undermine whatever remained of them, but also... well, quite possibly it would open doors to psych evals he had no interest in passing a second time. Gabriel Lorca might not shy away from a challenge, but he knew the line between a challenge and sheer idiocy. That was not a game he wished to play.

          And so, unable to offer either answer, all that remained was to sidestep the question entirely.    ❛ Oh, I suppose I do have plenty to say about your colleagues... ❜    There wasn’t a single admiral Gabriel had communicated with that he maintained a civil opinion of, and he had not been subtle enough about his disagreements, his disdain, to avoid their notice. He knew that she too would be aware.    ❛ But I rather thought to spare you all that. Now, if you’re telling me you don’t mind me badmouthing the pompous idiots you work with, well... I suppose I have quite the tirade I could offer you. ❜

          Not one word is a lie, but he offered it to her as a joke, with a faint smirk and wry laughter and no intention of actually following through.