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Quit Breaking Up With Me - Fraser x Reader (Black Sea)

Authors Note: Fraser... Fraser... What can I say about Fraser? I have enough ideas and content for a #ThreePartRetCon? Yes... That’ll do it. I find Fraser to be a mix of Danny/Kev/Andrew in personality with the way I write him. But let me know what you think...!? This is definitely build up for your later two parts... my goodness...! Also also, I’d like to give a quick shout out to Kingston on Thames for the date scene. Bless your river scenery! Fraser is also... his last name? I think? That’s how they all refer to each other... But in this case it’s his first name. Disclaimer: AU/RETCON. I was not about to go through all that to accept the ending. Sorry. Wasn’t happening. You can’t pull a vertical limit on me twice in one day Ben, I won’t accept it. Characters from Black Sea are not mine! Premise: Ever since he’d saved your life Fraser had been stuck with you. He knew it, you knew it. That still didn’t stop arguments from spiraling out of control... Words: 3500 Warnings: injury/almost death / swearing / angsty arguing every 5 minutes?

--- “Come on!!! COME ON!!! Y/N! Breathe! OH GOD! Girl! Come on!!! Y/N!! You can’t die on me!! Not you!” Fraser was panicked. He’d seen diving accidents before but this one was bad. You weren’t breathing, and you were bleeding everywhere. Which to tend to first though-!?! Oh, what the hell was the point in stemming the bleeding if you weren’t going to live-! He took a deep breath, he knew CPR. He could do this! “C’mon..! Come on! BREATHE!!” Taking another of his own, he tipped your head gently opening your airways – he didn’t even think about it, as he pressed his lips to yours and breathed. Interlocking his hands exactly as he’d been taught, he pushed them to the middle of your chest. Okay… okay… He kept his eyes on the watch to time his rhythm. He’d never lost a diver. He wasn’t about to start now. It was only him and you. And you were out here alone. There probably wasn’t a person or phone for miles, and all your stuff was back in a locker on the mainland. He cursed himself for that. You should have something on the boat. Both of you knew the dangers of diving. He refused to let himself get tired as he attempted again and again to resuscitate you. COME ON! DAMMIT---! Fraser was on the verge of tears, when suddenly your watch beeped. It has picked up a heartbeat. YES-! Come on!! Come on!! One more time – he could do this once more. And suddenly you were coughing up sea water and it was disgusting. Ugh-! What!? What had happened. You blinked against the light, and were well aware of pressure being applied to your lower abdomen. You flicked your eyes downwards, only to see Fraser hovering over you. “…Did you…” Your voice was weak and you felt another bout of coughing coming on; sea water did NOT taste good-! He looked to your face “OH GOD-! Don’t try to speak! Geez! I gotta get you back to land and to a hospital! Y/N! This is bad!” You tried again; “I’m trying to THANK you dammit! You just saved my life!” “I KNOW! Will you SHUT up! It won’t be worth it if we don’t get this looked at – it’s pretty deep!” You sighed, coughing again, and then laughed. “IT’S NOT FUNNY!!” “Did you use CPR!?” “What ELSE was I meant to do--! You were dead!” Fraser kept one hand over the wound and moved up your body, trying to get you more comfortable. He looked so worried. “…Oh my god… You scared the life… outta me…” You grinned, and he still didn’t think it was funny “Well, how the hell ELSE was I supposed to get you to kiss me!?” His eyes widened and he suddenly flushed bright red; "W-well now you're just being delusional!” His eyes couldn’t meet yours; and he knew by the beep of his own watch that his heart was racing, and you knew it too. “…T…That’s the lack of… oxygen to your brain and blood loss t-talking!!!” ** It’d been 8 years since that moment. And boy, had it been the longest 8 years of your life. Fighting. Breaking up. Making up. Him in and out of prison. Your countdown clocks... But you never left. He never threatened it, and breaking up lasted all of about 5 minutes before you were chasing after him and telling him to come home. Or tugging his hand and begging him to stay.... That was you and Fraser... You weren’t sure you hadn’t been better as friends; the only problem being you were good lovers. The arguments were always about the same thing. They needed him to do one more dive. But it was always one more dive. And you never understood why he always had to be away for so long. It panicked you, and you had a scar to tell him exactly why. You hadn’t dived properly since the accident; not to those kinds of depths. But it was his job... Sometimes you wouldn’t hear from him for months, and you just had to guess that it was okay. Sometimes you didn't think he was going for the reasons he told you, either. On occasion the dives seemed to be at least half legal. And he would get tech and signals that wavered in and out continuously. You almost felt that was worse though. Seeing him hurt you more. It made you miss him more... Sometimes you wondered if you fought because you both knew the make-up sex would be Awesome. Still that was really no reason to fight at all... Or you were arguing about the other thing he seemed particularly good at. Getting into trouble. Enough trouble to be arrested; and by now you'd lost count. In fact it’d happened so many times you'd actually got to know the group of officers that always came by your place to pick him up. Including the one time the most senior man had turned to you; “... Don't you get sick of this?” You'd folded your arms, leaning against the door frame, watching the apologetic look Fraser threw you as they loaded him into the car - Yeah right-! If he meant that look, he'd never get himself into these situations - and looked to the officer wearily; “... Don't you?" Luckily the prison sentences were only ever months at a time too. You didn't think you could take being away from him for years. Would you even still be here if that as the case? You knew you would. That wasn't even a question. You'd wait for him even if it was agony. And it always was agony... ** “Don’t you ever think about coming along...?” You smiled, hand in his, the both of you swinging your legs over the river below; “No!” “Never?” “No!” “...Why?” And you knew he was referring to everything that wasn’t your injury. The accident hadn’t stopped you from diving per se. But only stopped you from diving beyond a certain depth. The didn’t mean you didn’t get cold sweats about it. But even when you did, trying to separate you from your two greatest loves when they were so entwined was far too difficult. The sun was beating down on London today and you’d persuaded Fraser to take you on a date. Open spaces were a bigger deal for him than closed spaces were. But closed spaces with his personality was problematic at best. And even if you’d ever be INVITED as a female, you didn’t want to get caught up in that. Fraser never came back completely intact and neither did his sanity. Still, there must have been something about diving, because he still never lost a man - and they still trusted him like no-one else... You rested your head on his shoulder with just the tiniest groan; “When do you leave?” “... 2 weeks. It’s a short trip. State of the art vessel! We’ll be able to communicate...” he squinted just a little “Maybe. Probably. God I hope...” You removed one of your hands from his and kneaded his arm gently “How short is short?” “... I dunno. A week. A few days. Guess we’ll meet up soon.” Fraser’s eyes were still cast out over the water; you could feel it already. The tension that always wound him up. Torn between leaving you when he knew how much you hated seeing him go. And diving; about the only thing consistently successful at keeping him out of prison. You probably knew the answer to your question as you kissed his shoulder gently; ‘they need you for briefing next week, but you’ll stall it for a few more days. You’ll blame anything... until you get angry phone calls from every other member of the team and HAVE to go.’ The hour-long argument you were trying not to have with him anymore somehow hadn’t happened yet. Probably because if you DID start one again, this time it wouldn’t help things. He’d not truly unwound yet from the last trip; you both knew that he’d only just come back but now they needed him again. He was winding up. If you added to that then life would be hell on that Sub. And it was bad enough as it was. You brushed some of his hair back off his face; and he hummed gently as your fingertips grazed his skin. Fraser got paranoid; the last thing you wanted was for that to set in badly 2 weeks before he was due to leave. Maybe you should stop talking about him leaving. You had two weeks. And it was summer, so you could just have quiet days with him like this... It was only a crying shame that you couldn’t be outdoors in your tiny London townhouse. Sure, it had a garden, but really!? You thought on it to yourself for a second; maybe you could get him away for a couple of last-minute days holiday. In the country? Or down by the beach...? No. Maybe the beach would be too full of noise and people. Fraser wouldn’t appreciate that. You ran your fingers into his thick salt and pepper curls with a smile; “Do you ever think about getting a haircut?” He laughed, pushing his head into your hand to encourage you to continue the motion. You know how much he liked you to tangle your fingers in it, always. “No!!! Why would I?!” “I dunno. It’s getting a little long... dontcha think?” “Pfft! You like it that way.” He served you a wink “Otherwise maybe I’d cut it...” His next look caused you to bite your lip; “... Yeaaah… But doesn’t it all get in the way?!” “Nah. Hairband. All set.” “Yeah about that..” “I don’t lose ‘em! Tell me one time I lost one.” “I didn’t say that!” You laughed “I’m just saying you need to invest in your own.” “No. Cuz look...” Fraser shook his hair out as you removed your hands and took them back in his, looking at you seriously; “... if I take yours it’s like having a piece of you out there with me. Okay? Like a piece of you is ALWAYS with me. And, as a function not fashion decision - you’re there HELPING me out!” His smile almost genuinely makes you tear up “That means more to me than a picture by my bunk. Believe me. So I can’t... stop... taking them.” “You’re crazy.” “Yeah well, you knew that for six years and you still decided to date me.” “I’m not sure I decided anything.” “Uh!! Who wanted who to kiss who?!” “Fraser I-” “Who always fights with me EVEN though every time I get half way to the door to let her cool off a little, is dragging me back and begging me not to go?!” He scoffed; “Like I’d leave. Now what, it’s nearly 10 years later and you’re still HERE?!” He finished with a smirk because he knew his point was made. You tilted your head “If you’re SO certain you’ll never leave...” your smile was quiet, he liked that “... why do you argue back?” He shrugged “It’s about getting angry sometimes, isn’t it?” You laughed “It is?!” “Yeah... It’s passionate, that you care so much. Kinda a turn on.” Fraser had you laughing again, with the way he grinned and you placed your hands on his leg, telling him not to joke. He folded his arms with a nod; “Yeah. I like getting angry sometimes… It’s quite therapeutic!” ** “I’m not having the same argument with you for the 500th time Y/N I’m just not!” “But why you!! Why YOU Fraser?! Can’t they get someone else - for ONCE!” “Because they need me... they need ME!” It was bad. Really bad. The kind of argument you assumed people had when the police turned up because neighbours had reported domestics. That kinda thing. And it just didn’t stop; hounding each other through rooms, and stalking each other up and down the flights of stairs. By the time the argument ended, you’d had enough. Enough, enough. It was your breaking point. “THEN F**KING LEAVE!” “I WILL!” It took you all of about 0.5 seconds to start crying. Why had you just---!? Said that!?! To his Face!?! You'd said it plenty of times in your head before and then mentally slapped yourself for it but saying it out loud to his face was on another level. He might have been yelling it at you, but as usual, a lot of what Fraser said was right. So was some of the things you’d said, but crossing the "then leave" line was another level of low... Fraser had to blink a few times, as the door narrowly missed slamming into his actual face. And suddenly the noise level of the house dropped... His ears rang in the silence; because that wasn’t good either. Did you mean it?? No. He didn't think so; but what if you did?? He'd been half way out that door a billion times and you always dragged him back. He waited for you to lace your fingers with his and drag him back but right now, you'd told him to leave. Still you were on the other side of that door. And he had a pretty safe bet that you were crying. And that hurt; he'd made you cry. You'd made yourself cry because he just... Couldn't let go. Fraser could never let go. He obsessed over stuff as much as you did which is why it was always the same argument. Over, and over, and over. And it was like a broken record but for some sick reason both of you always knew it was coming, and both of you lived for the thrill of it. Screaming to get it off your chest was pretty nonsensical and he was sure neither of you ever spoke sense, or could remember what the other said, but when it got physical... Never violent... But physical... When any surface was game - now THAT was worth every second of whatever had come before. Except today. Today you had screamed at him to leave and slammed the door. And he had to be honest, there was never a point in the argument that he thought it was going to get that kind of physical. He bit his lip, because the thought of you crying was making him cry. And he couldn't, he couldn’t go. Whether you really wanted it, or not, and he was SURE you didn't... But... You had to be okay. For him to be okay. And in that silence, he knew you weren't... It was amicable of you to cry whilst being able to hold back your sobs. You didn’t want Fraser to hear you cry over something you’d said. It wasn’t his fault. You owed this man your life. And before that, he had been one of your very best friends. And he still WAS your best friend. And sure, sometimes these things didn't work out. But you knew, you knew his mental state. People didn't call him a psychopath for no good reason. And you just pushed his buttons. Whenever he had to leave you, you were jealous enough and selfish enough to push all those buttons you knew he had. God, of COURSE you didn't want him to leave. But you were so awful to him. Always. Because he could die and you knew that. But so did he; he knew the risks of leaving you. But you knew it would kill him to leave what he was so good at. Somehow in all this time it had never blown up like this. And now you were standing on one side of a door and you'd just asked the man on the other side to leave. Unless he had? Would Fraser really walk out, if that's what he thought you wanted him to do...? You placed your head in your hands and shook it vigorously. What the hell was wrong with you!?! You knew him. You KNEW him! You should be looking after him, not doing this!! There was dead silence; you pressed your back into the door. You weren’t sure if he was even still there… If you actually TOLD Fraser to leave, would he actually do it. There was a difference, right?! You weren’t sure how many minutes passed; there was no talking. Both of you were barely breathing. You had to know, you just had to know… Your voice was wavering; Fraser automatically knew you were crying; “Fraser…” “Uh huh.” His voice was shaking too. “I…Don’t… I don’t wanna fight anymore…” The lock clicked and you opened the door. By now you were in tears, and he was on the verge of it. You reached and grabbed him; holding him close. Fraser pulled you in, one hand tangled in your hair; “I know… I know. Baby I know… Me either… me either…” *** Of all the things you didn't hate about Fraser leaving, your favourite was driving him to port. Whether that be sea or air. How he would sit next to you the entire way and just talk and plan. The most random and inconsequential but also the SWEETEST things... They almost always missed off the pre-cursor of 'if I die...' but it was probably sometimes better they did... This was now another thing you did so often because of him, that you had a pass specifically to be able to take him down to the end of the port, rather than dropping him off and making him walk. “Back so soon!?" "Eh!” You shrugged, glancing back across to Fraser; "No rest for the wicked!" You rolled your car down the road. Time to take it slooooow, so slow. Slow enough you'd leave everyone else impatiently waiting for him. They COULD bloody well wait for him! You spent long enough doing it the rest of the time. But suddenly you found yourself smirking at the man who was walking. You rolled your car up and whistled, winding down your window; “Oi! Reynolds! Wanna lift!?" He was probably your favourite of the regular crew so, you didn't mind sharing your last few minutes with Fraser with him. “Oh god!" he laughed “I would! But there's no way I want to watch you two make out in a car again..." You rolled your eyes "Well enjoy the near 3 mile walk!" "I will!" You laughed "What is this? The Likely Lads? Why doesn't that surprise me." "That's a good band name. Y/N and the Likely Lads. Try it out!" "Yeah, yeah..." you pulled your car forward "Last chance..." "No thanks." "3 miles! You're gonna let Fraser get there before you!?" "Oy!" Fraser smacked your arm playfully because it was always YOU making him late. “Well... That’s still a better prospect than you making out..." "Have it your way..." you sped the car up slightly but stuck your hand out the window counting backwards from 5. You got to two before he ran after you; "Alright! Alright!! I get it! Let me in!" Fraser gave a grin "So you're not THAT scandalised by us making out then?" "Oh god. Can you just do it when I get out please!?!" ** “I’m gonna miss you…” “I know…” You held him to you by his jacket. Every other word (practically) was followed by a kiss. And as you were leaning against your car, you could help but smirk into Fraser’s kisses watching the rest of them watch you (in disgust. But, screw them!). “Of course I know! We fight about that!” “Not since I-!” “Hush…!” His calm blue eyes swore you to silence; “We don’t talk about that one. Ever. Ok?” “Ok…” That fight had ended it. You hadn’t ever fought over this again. You just begrudgingly agreed to the dives he was called to now. He knew you still hated watching him go. But he knew you knew he had to… He stepped back, in order to say goodbye, but couldn’t resist the step forward again to steal another. You giggled; “GO! GOOO! They need you, go! Before I throw you back in my car and they lose their best diver!” “I could go for a bit of being thrown in the back of a car to be honest…!” His wink was cheeky and you gasped; “Shut! UP! Fraser…!!” That made him laugh, shouldering his bag he removed his baseball cap and placed it gently on your head; “Look after it, alright?!” You fixed it into place “Yeah. I will.” But still he stood there and didn’t move, before biting his lip with a grin; “Okay…! Okay… ONE last kiss…!” As if. One last kiss, to match his one last dive. You couldn’t help but laugh triumphantly again as you heard the collective groups exasperated groan. This wouldn’t end for at least another ten minutes!