Do you think we could say Wanda is a female version of Kylo Ren? Both Are very passionate, dealing with loss, their feelings going are calm and Controlled to lashing out in anger (Wanda at Monika), charismatic, trying to protect the People they love no matter how the Cost. I would argue Kylo has more Self reflection than Wanda but they seem to ve very Alike. I don‘t know If they would fit as patners as both seemed to Need someone calmer balancing their Storming emotions out.
Its less about realistic psychoanalysis and more about if whether two version of same archetype and same kind of people can make for an entertaining pair. The most hit pair are usually contrasting in nature ( eg- the broody and the sunshine one as they say) . So in that respect putting Wanda with Ben is not that entertaining because I agree with you.
In many respect if you remove the veil of PCM from Wanda she is pretty much a Ben Solo in the making. I also agree unlike Ben , Wanda lacks a stunning grasp of her own actions from outside perspective. Hence, she lacks self reflection. As it is that is in fault with the writers who write her who think she she is a woman and a victim she cannot possibly be held to same harder standards of accountability and redemption arc like male characters can be.
I don't know who to scream at for that happening though. Its not like if they suddenly realized they can write an anti heroine with Wanda there won't be self proclaimed feminist and "pro women" who wouldn't scream that the writer is a misogynist for doing that ( aka how dare a female character has flaws which gets her hurt!) . I have seen this idiocy with KES where legit a lot of people were angry at her for writing PM Koo like she did. Apparently demonizing a woman who "open is ambitious" is misogynistic. As if she hasn't written Lady Noh, a single childless head of the Palace and Regent of the King and PM Mo. As if the point was not that excessive ambition and thirst for power is bad aka Lee Rim?
But no women cannot have flaws especially flaws many people believe real women are demonized for according to a set list prescribed by priviledged women of first world countries *eye roll*
Wanda to me makes for perfect baseball bat to beat antis with though, not gonna lie funnily enough! I can always laugh at antis who insist they hate Kylie Ron with so much passion and then stan Din Jaren and Wanda as if they aren't horrible people in their own right in the text but with flipped perspective.
I think I can envision a story where Wanda and Kylo could work though. Kylo has a contrast of dry sense of humor and sarcasm where Wanda is very straightforward and wholesome when she isn't angsting. It would make for something cool , not gonna lie.