Oct 16, 2022
method actors who work themselves into real tears with real pain for their work… I really only have the absolutely tragic death of my cat to work with there (I am very lucky that “that’s all” in some respects but feel extremely guilty about it) but like… I think I get it. I used to think it was a weird fucked up way of just constantly picking at a wound and never letting it heal but I think it’s really just. If you’re scarred that deep by something (even if other people don’t ‘get’ it) then you always remember the pain and horror and trauma you felt then. Even if you forgive yourself and move on it’s there.
#i feel weird cladding myself in with people who have lost their flesh and blood or been at fault for other death but#*classing#really Maddie’s padding was a perfect storm for me of fuckups and misses#*passing#every step of the way I or someone else failed her and I am kind of moving on but#it’s been eight months and I still feel like she’s just away at the vet and I’m waiting for her to come home#shut up hop.