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Some random Always I Dreamed verse feelz-thoughts

-The thing about making Always I Dreamed verse a soulmark verse is that soulmarks are important. Everyone is has at least one mark, usually platonic, and with it is the cultural impression that “of course you do, everyone deserves at least one person to love them” (because yeah everyone does deserves that in RL too but moving on), whether that love be the love of a soul sibling, a soul parent, or a soulmate. And of course soul marks don't always work out, there are a lot of evil, petty people in the world. But the fundamental thought that “you have a soul mark because you deserve to be loved by at least one person, to be understood by someone” is so, so interesting in this verse because-

-Raven, the main character, doesn’t believe that about herself.

-Raven, the main character, remembers what her canon self did, knows what she herself has done to protect her brother (lied and stolen and killed-killed-killed and who is she to decide that her brother’s life is more important than the lives of those she’s cut down), and is firmly convinced that she’s not worthy of affection. She knows Qrow loves her, knows she can’t stop him. He’s her twin, her anchor, he’s always loved her and always will, because he’s too good for her like that. But the rest of the world?

-It shouldn’t care.

-She believes that, down to her bones.

-And the soul marks on her skin- they all speak out to prove her wrong.

-The sad and fun thing about making this a soul mark AU is because Raven, this character who sees the worst parts of herself, who looks at canon and sees how she could become that, and so judges herself as if she already has, not only has her brother’s mark on her skin to tell her she’s loved but four. Four marks in a world when two is the highest commonly seen and three is considered a rare amount. Four marks on her skin that say “your soul fits with these people, belongs with them, will be loved by them”.

-One mark in particular, the outline of an asian dragon sprawling up her spine, its tail wrapped possessively around her navel and its head nestled over her collarbone, says “there is someone out there who will love you as a mate, as a wife, who could be your other half if you just let him”.

-And it scares her once she realizes these aren’t just tattoos, but it also makes her feel alive.

-The fun thing about planning to write this verse has always been the angst. Raven’s headspace and the whole “dying and resetting” thing are the reasons I’ll probably rate this M just to be safe but the thing is, with soul marks it becomes even more interesting.

-Because it’s just a little bit harder for Raven to pull back and say she’s not worth it when the marks on her skin and the light in her team’s eyes tell her that she is. She has always been. Even when she was in that bandit camp. Even when she was fifteen, at the darkest part of her life, a killer and a prisoner, an executioner and a hostage all in one. Even then,

-She was loved.

-Not just by her twin, who is hers by blood, who she thinks doesn’t know any better.

-She was loved by each and every one of her marks before they met her. From the moment the stylized swirls of raven feathers settled on their skin, they loved her. They worried about her every time she died and they had to feel her mark scar and fade to white only to stubbornly ink itself back into existence a few minutes to a few hours later. They loved this mark that they didn’t understand, because they thought only death could scar over marks, but surely since it came back, their soul mark hasn’t actually died. They loved this mark that they don’t understand, but know has suffered, is suffering, and has stubbornly clawed back to life each time because Raven is many things, but someone who gives up is not one of them. Not in this at least.

-Raven has no idea, no clue, but the moment Summer sees Raven’s marks, Summer knows down into her bones that this is her blue raven. She knows that this is her blue raven, and she knows that Raven has suffered. She doesn’t know how much, she doesn’t know that Raven has actually denied death so very many times, but she knows this angry, feral teen is hers. Hers to help, to protect. All of them are hers. Her team are the majority of her marks and she already loves them, wants to protect them and understand them. She is not tied to Raven by blood, she does not know what it was like to be a Branwen, a bandit, a killer. But she does know this is her blue raven, the mark that has been scarring over and then fighting its way back to her over and over since Summer first got her marks at fifteen.

-This is her blue raven and Summer will protect her.

-Tai takes longer to see the marks, because looking at his female teammate’s bare torso sounds like a terrible and brutal way to die and Raven always wears concealing clothing, but eventually he does see the mark and confirms what he has already suspected, what Summer has possibly already told him.

-Raven is his raven. The sprawling outline of feathers and ink that takes up most of his back and all of his shoulder blades. The mark he’s felt burn on his back as it scarred and healed over and over- that’s her. And moon above he already loves her. Want to grab her hands and ask to touch her mark to see it fill in with his Aura, wants to guard her and tear apart whatever it was that has made her scar and heal over and over and over on his back before they ever met.

-The fun thing about a soul mark verse is Raven, ironically like Ozpin, looks in the mirror and all too often only sees the broken shards, and it’s so hard to see past that. So hard to see anything else.

-But there is the ink of souls on her skin, protective and bold. Four whole marks that tell her different.

-And the owners of those marks are willing to fight any demons lurking in Raven’s head until she believes that. Until she looks past the mirror shards and sees the person the marks belong to, the person they see. The person they love.

#Secret Engima Rambles #Always I Dreamed verse #raven branwen #rwby #angst #soulmate au #soulmarks #just thinking angst thoughts #just thinking about why i love this verse #*flaps hands*#rambly #probably not very coherent #AND ALL THIS ISN'T TAKING OZPIN INTO ACCOUNT #Ozpin and HIS marks #Ozpin and Raven vibing in their self worth issues #while trying to help the other see that they MATTER #disaster siblings #that's what they'll be

"Peter? This number is for emergencies only, you know." "Yes, Captain, I know, and I'm sor - " "It's Steve, please." "Sir, listen." Peter licks his lips nervously. "You gotta."

@owlgirl1998 lookit!

#*flaps hands*#i just-! really like this and think you should reAD iT!#fanfic rec #I am aaaaaaliiiiiiiveeeeee~

holy shit playmoss fixed its playlist issues? i can finally finish my bnha playlists?

i just gotta do tokoyami kouda shouji satou and iida for class a some of class b some pros and the big three too...

#shut up amber #*flaps hands*

confy…

#oversized clothes are so comfy istg-#:D #*flaps hands*#this took way longer than i thought it would but oh well :|

Guess who had a special lecture at the observatory today~

#It's the final lecture of my voluntary class on the end of the world from various points of view #The final one was about the astronomical end of the world that's where the observatory comes in #And even better it was one of the ones with a sky projector #It was so much fun god I love space #*flaps hands*

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ah yes.... the token moment of laura lovestrickenly lightly gasping the mOMENT THE LAW MAN COMES IN HUH.

also uh, extra angry law man on my birthday as a little treat?? he was liKE A GODDAMN HAWK AND EXTRA STERN.... also laura saying her usual nonsense....... as per usual..... and lightly lovestruck gasping whenever law man does anything remotely intimidating.....i just-..... brain functions go to 0 when law man is involved.... 😳

[Audio taken December 12th 2021, Please do not share outside my blog I’m an embarrassment most likely <3]