Oct 13, 2024
today, i was awake from 5:35am to am bc i couldn't sleep, but man, the way my creativity just flowed and had me writing much more than i ever had in the past YEARS... fuck sleep. that was really cool.
#i started this as a tolerance break and i am on day 19!!!! 🥳🥳🥳#but my anxiety has improved as has my paranoia & my dreams came back full force as has my creativity#and so i am wondering if perhaps..... perhaps i should extend this break indefinitely. life does feel good rn#and idk of course i want to smoke again but man i'm scared of falling back into old habot#*habits#bc i am an addict that's just. a fact. and i wonder if i am even capable of moderation or if abstinence is my only chance at a good life#i don't want to lose my creative & happy streak again. but idk. anywaysssss#also went out to drink yesterday & it was fuuun but i could never be an alcoholic#i always need two weeks of a break before i can even think of alcohol again#🥑; raquel talk#tw drugs
