Idk one of the hardest parts of this progression of disability is that like. Nothing is private anymore. Someone else has to know everything. I'm lucky that *some* things can just be my partners (vs paid caregivers) but that line has gotten less over this past year (with paid caregivers having to do much more of it)
And it's like. It sucks and I just gotta get over it.
But it sucks that like. abled/less disabled people can have a mild body "embarrassing" problem and can deal with it privately themselves by going to a drug store /pharmacy /clinic alone. People only need others involved for like major procedures! I know this because that used to be me. Years ago.
And now I have the added layer of a paid caregiver being involved at every level no matter the severity. If there is a problem that needs attention I have to tell them and I can't just deal with it myself.
The continual further loss of privacy continues to be devastating despite how lucky I am to have at least one caregiver who treats me with such respect and dignity and treats these issues as non-issues. But god. It's hard.
Just wish I could deal with some stuff myself you know!!!! Wish it didnt have to be a whole fucking Thing!!
I'll get over it, i always eventually adapt to my new level of dependence, and whatever new issues i get stop being embarrassing. But fucking hell, having to continually do this is exhausting.
