i wonder if we’re sometimes standing in the same memory; i wonder if sometimes, time has stopped for you too... the day before [ 그리고, 남겨진 것들 ], nell [ 넬 ]
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i wonder if we’re sometimes standing in the same memory; i wonder if sometimes, time has stopped for you too... the day before [ 그리고, 남겨진 것들 ], nell [ 넬 ]
i wonder if we’re sometimes standing in the same memory; i wonder if sometimes, time has stopped for you too... the day before [ 그리고, 남겨진 것들 ], nell [ 넬 ]
[ s m i l e ]
Don't Think You Know Me.
No, he was not okay. Hell, that was the understatement of the year. It was more like he was burning from the inside out.
See, he never slept well. He was always plagued by nightmares of isolation, of the Brotherhood, of torture and being barely kept alive. He couldn't even walk around without constantly feeling an onslaught of terror.
He had been disguising his identity. He permed his hair, he got a new wardrobe, he constantly hid behind large-framed glasses... but he knew even that wasn't enough to hide his radius or his blue blood. Even though he jumped from city to city constantly, there was always that feeling that he was going to get fucked right up the ass any second-- and not in a good way. It would be so easy for him to walk in the wrong place at the wrong time. So easy for him to get brought back.
It was bad for a while, but lately, the terrors were getting worse. It had been about 5 days with no sleep now, and to say he was irritable would be a complete understatement. Even the slightest noise had him in a complete panic.
He needed a fix. He needed something-- anything...
The fifth glass was slammed down onto the bar, his blackened eyes staring straight forward. It wasn't enough, he needed more... He needed to clear his head. He needed to stop feeling so much fear. He needed it to stop.
He couldn't care less if he was causing a scene.
"The fuck do you think this is, water!? I said give me your fucking strongest-- this ain't fucking shit!"
(UNF) Got You Under My Skin
See, he didn't care for people who craved attention from him. Hell, he was fucking Lust for crying out loud! Everyone wanted a piece of him-- and when everyone wants you, you kinda start to lose interest pretty damn fast.
He would occasionally mingle with others, fuck around with people, give those certain few the honor of letting him penetrate them, but in general, his interests were at an all-time-low. This lifetime was no exception. He just wasn't all-that-interested in sex, or people in general, much to the surprise of others.
Yes, he craved attention... but he only craved attention from a certain few.
But that goddamn boy that kept following him was really starting to get under his skin. He made the mistake of going outside that morning, and not running the fuck away when that little blond twerp caught sight of him.
He knew he was being followed-- it wasn't like the other was even remotely subtle about following him either-- hell he was full-on running up to him by this point, and Mon found absolutely no reason to attempt to avoid the other when it was completely inevitable.
He turned on his heel an walked straight back to him, his gaze dark.
"The fuck is it this time, you little shit!?"
Skin Deep.
He wasn't one to care. In fact, it was out of his persona to even give half a shit about anything. No matter what he got attached to in any lifetime, it would eventually become useless to him when he dies and gets reborn, and the cycle will continue. Essentially to Mon, everything just happened to be useless.
That didn't entirely mean that he was heartless-- because he did have a heart, honestly. It's just that it's a lot less prominent than that of an average person. He was still disgustingly human in every aspect of it-- but it didn't mean he would ever bother acting upon it. He'd fuck around. He'd seduce people, manipulate people-- getting close to people or even bothering to give anyone a second glance was out of the option. Still... there were little rare moments when he let that human side slip through.
He found himself wandering inside a seemingly empty flowershop, drawn in by the brilliant colors and life. He found himself entranced as he gazed down at the bright petals, the corner of his lips quirking upwards, his shades sliding down to the tip of his nose as he traced his fingers along the violet, for some reason the familiar color resonating with him.
One more glance around to make sure the store was empty, Mon took the small flower in it's pot and immediately headed out without a second thought.