hey now, you’re my biggest fear → harpie
TAGGING→ @notthatharperlee @rocketpowerreg DATE→ Thursday July 5th, 2018 PLACE→ Harper & Natalie’s NYU Dorm room NOTES→ After spending the entirety of the 4th of July together, Harper and Reggie wake up cuddled in bed. In that moment, Harper gains the courage to ask Reggie on a date despite their no-feelings agreement. Cue a panicked and flustered Regina AUTHOR’S NOTES → sometimes you just gotta post a para a month and a half later JUST TO FEEL
REGGIE CLIFFTON
Waking up the next day in a place that wasn’t the studio Reggie lived in was a pretty normal way for days to start. They tended to either be completely unfamiliar locations or somewhere she knew well, and as she opened her eyes from the sun peaking in past the dorm room blinds, Reggie instantly knew she was at Harper’s place. Even while a little groggy she could tell simply from having been there so much lately. And if that hadn’t been enough of an indicator, the fact that her arms were wrapped around Harper herself would have been. For a brief moment Reggie paused, her mind thinking about how they landed here. Sure waking up in bed together was pretty on par for them, but they were fully clothed. Which meant either they were really sneaky with screwing around, or they actually hadn’t done so last night and instead fell asleep cuddling. Reggie was sure it was the latter.
Laying there a moment as she let that sink in, Reggie looked down at Harper who’s head was resting on her chest, her face slightly buried in the crook of Reggie’s neck. Without realizing it, a smirk graced Reggie’s lips, finding herself not wanting to disrupt Harper from her slumber. So she didn’t. Instead Reggie rested her head lightly against the top of Harper’s, soaking in peacefulness of the moment and the feeling of the girl beside her while no one was there to catch her do it. Reggie was always a private person, but that had become especially so in the last five years. Which lead to her only being her most sincere self when it felt like no one was watching. Unfortunately, the atmosphere was ruined as her phone started blaring the alarm normally meant for her to get out of bed and workout before class. But it was a holiday week and so she had neither work or classes to consider today, and therefore, the alarm was disturbing the peace for no reason. Carefully removing only one arm from her hold on Harper, she grabbed her phone in her pocket and silenced it, knowing full well there wasn’t any way that the girl hadn’t heard it, “Sorry,” Reggie chuckled, keeping her laughter contained so Harper wouldn’t have to have a continued rude awakening by her body’s convulsions, “Didn’t mean to wake you, your highness.”
HARPER CLARINGTON
The shrill ring of a phone alarm wasn’t exactly the wake-up call Harper was expecting. She blinked her eyes groggily, satisfaction rolling down her core at the realization that it was Reggie’s arm wrapped around her on this post-holiday morning. Harper allowed herself to sink back into the brunette’s embrace with a smile. “I’ll pardon you, but only this time,” she teased. “Because you treated me to the perfect night.” The statement wasn’t a lie. Harper had spent the Fourth walking along the harbor hand in hand with Reggie, pausing every so often to kiss under the fireworks or sneak a bite from the patriotic edible she had prepared. With the way she had been feeling about Reggie lately it was an added bonus to discover that the girl had fallen asleep cuddling her. From the beginning Reggie had been upfront with her about being casual and at first Harper had no complaints. She couldn’t help but wonder if Reggie staying the night proved that her feelings weren’t hers alone. The conversation with Matt gnawed at her conscious, prompting her to twist herself up onto her elbows.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” Harper started, her voice faltering from nerves. There’s no time like the present, Clarington. She took a deep breath and pulled Reggie’s hand into her own. “After all of this I’m going to ask you to forgive me for sounding like a massive dork. These past couple of weeks have been… fucking amazing, Reggie. You told me from the start that doing things casually is your modus operandi, but I’d love the chance to take you on a real date.” Harper let her gaze drop down to their hands, suddenly unable to face the girl. “So what do you say? Or am I officially too nerdy for you?”
REGGIE CLIFFTON
As Harper's body turned, Reggie loosened hold on her so she could freely move. It was almost second nature by now for her to try to assist Harper in any way she could. She had a smirk on, as Reggie was always instantly interested in whatever Harper had to say. She would have been too distracted by how cute and shy she looked had she not managed to hear what she was saying. "What?" Reggie asked, her eyes trained on Harper as she let out a nervous chuckle with confused expression. Despite her education, when it came to anything dealing with emotions, Reggie was clueless. Yet there she was, in bed with a girl who was asking her on a date. Which, in truth, was new. Reg had been used to being the pursuer over the years, and upon realizing she was being genuinely pursued, her heart was racing from a multitude of emotions that made the situation feel overwhelming, "I uh, no," Reggie stumbled, her usually cool exterior nowhere in sight for as she tried to figure out what to say, "As in, no you're not too nerdy for me. Not no to the other thing. That's-... something else."
Reggie shook her head, feeling her cheeks heating up as she realized how little sense she was making. It was frustrating her and at this rate, she would wind up ruining whatever it was they had. Reggie’s eyes glanced down and noticed that despite her panic, she hadn't let Harper's hand go. Amazing enough, the sight gave Reggie an odd sense of calm, and courage. Enough so that she was starting to get her heartbeat to slowly settle as she allowed her eyes to find Harper's gaze. The girl was putting her heart on her sleeve, and Reggie found it hard to deny it though her pessimistic nature made her feel like she should, "Can I just ask why? Why do you want to go on a date when you know who I am?” Reggie asked with an earnest tone, her thumb lightly brushing over Harper's knuckles as if to silently give some reassurance. She didn’t want Harper thinking she’d done something wrong, “I could hurt you, you know.”
HARPER CLARINGTON
Harper could feel her heart stutter and fall as Reggie’s expression shifted from confused to shocked. Once again she had jumped the gun and had made a fool of herself. The last few weeks they had spent nearly every free moment together and despite Reggie’s warning, Harper had fallen for her. Heat flooded her cheeks as her mind scrambled for a reasonable way to backtrack, her embarrassment further fueled by the fact that Reggie wouldn’t meet her eyes as she stuttered out an answer. The diatribe of vicious thoughts against herself were already warming up in preparation for another ruined relationship.
It was the gentle brush of Reggie’s thumb against her skin that brought Harper back into focus, the honesty of her question proving that she was giving the idea some legitimate thought. There were so many ways to answer the girl’s question and while it certainly wasn’t appropriate, Harper found herself letting out a weak laugh. “Reggie, don’t you see? That’s exactly why I want to go on a date with you. The last couple of weeks have proven that you’re anything but what the rumors say you are. You’re genuine and resilient, compassionate and easy-going. That’s not even counting the fact that you’re one hell of a cook. Yes, you could hurt me. But you know what? I’m willing to take that chance for a shot with you.”
REGGIE CLIFFTON
Reggie kept her eyes very much trained on Harper as she waited for an answer. And as she got one, it was one that again made Reggie's blush. For five years she had been able to come nowhere near such emotional conversations. Now that she was presented with one, her mind and heart had two vastly different, competing reactions. But something that was managing to get through was the fact that Harper was there putting it all out on the line despite the warnings from Reggie herself, and likely others. It was kind of beautiful, and insanely hot, which made it all the more baffling. While she wasn't sure she deserved the chance Harper was presenting, the fact that Reggie's heart was rapidly beating made something crystal clear for her-- she felt something genuine for the other woman.
Reggie nodded her head after Harper finished up, acknowledging that she heard her but needing a second to let what she said sink in. She had always been the type to need to piece things together in her head before responding, especially if it was something outside of the realm of logic and reason. Reggie let go of Harper's hand, but only to put her arm around Harper's body again, "You're something else, Harper Clairington." Reggie said in a soft, sincere tone, pulling Harper close against her as she prepared to give her response. She wanted to be honest with her above all else, and while she worried her brand of honesty would wind up hurting Harper, avoiding the situation was worse. She knew Harper didn't deserve that, so she pressed on, "I can't go on a date with you. Not right now." Reggie started, wishing she wasn't such a pessimistic soul so she could just get past her own problems and give Harper what she wanted right then and there. But alas, she couldn't.
"Going on a date sounds fucking terrifying. Not because of you, but because they mean relationships and serious stuff I've managed to purposefully avoid with anyone. At least anyone before you." One of Reggie's hands tucked some hair behind Harper's ear, and then remained rested lightly on her cheek, lining with the path of her jawline. She took the pause to look down to make eye contact with Harper again. Staring into someone's eyes wasn't customary for Reggie, but she never had a problem with it when it came to Harper's. She even remembered that happening their first night together, which should have tipped Reggie off to turn and run. Yet she hadn't. And even now still wasn't. That meant something, it had to.
"I feel something for you, Harp. But you have to understand I haven't felt anything like this for anyone in... years. Not since high school," Reggie had a chuckle escape as she shook her head at herself. Admitting her fears wasn't her forte, and she had very much kept this aspect of herself unknown, "I know I'm telling you now like it's nothing, but... I've been fighting it for weeks. Denying it. Because even just a second of trying for more with you makes my anxiety kicks into overdrive. I'm no where near as brave as you."
It was clear in Reggie's own eyes that she was saying the truth, though it was difficult. Opening up was always hard, but hell, if Harper could wear her heart so kindly out for Reggie, Reg could try the same for her, "I'm sorry for being too emotionally fucked up to go on a date with right now. But I don't know. Having you here and around actually makes me think eventually I won't be." Reggie's eyes wandered down, looking at their bodies still close by and she had to wonder if this would be the last time it happened. That thought made Reggie's own heart sink but she couldn't dwell on it right now, "I don't want to lose you, but it'd be wrong to keep you hanging on without you knowing any of this. If you want me to go now, I can. No hard feelings."
HARPER CLARINGTON
Harper leaned into the embrace and allowed it to ground her as Reggie thoroughly explained her feelings. Past experience had her on guard almost immediately, ready to jump in and work damage control. It wasn’t until she took a moment to consider why that Harper realized she was preparing herself for another Spencer Porter experience. While Spencer hadn’t been ready to commit either, she knew that expecting Reggie to hurt her in the same way was only playing into the rumors surrounding the brunette. Taking a moment to think about the last couple of weeks alone proved that such an assumption was unfair. Reggie had been nothing but honest and supportive, and Harper wanted to give her the genuine chance they both deserved.
With that in mind she let Reggie’s words sink in. While her heart admittedly stung a little from the rejection, Harper could see that the other girl had only intended it as more of a pause. The date would happen if and when they were both ready for it. Harper toyed with a piece of her hair that kept falling forward, waiting to respond until she felt she had a answer that would do justice to Reggie’s sincerity. “Reggie? I’m not going anywhere unless you ask me to,” she started, lifting her eyes to meet her gaze. “Because, believe it or not, you being so respectful and upfront with me about all of this makes me like you that much more. Even if that means slowing down and cooling my jets.” A light laugh punctuated her last word. “You’re worth it.” Ignoring the anxiety that it would be too much blooming in her chest, Harper tilted her head up and pressed a soft kiss to Reggie’s jawline.
REGGIE CLIFFTON
The bit of silence that came after Reggie spoke from her heart felt like forever. Both in a way that made her nervous, and in a way that made her appreciative. Harper wasn't screaming at her to get out, or telling Reggie that her reasons were bullshit. Which, truthfully, she didn't even consider being a possibility with Harper. It was more just something from past experience when Reggie gave honesty, but Harper wasn't anything like the girls from her past. She was truly the good soul that Reggie believed Harper was from day one. The certainty of this was very much solidified by the time Harper was pressing a kiss on Reggie's jawline. It was such a small, yet sweet gesture, the reassurance on Harper's end easily appreciated. Being someone that did not often let people know her fears and comfort her of them, Reggie wondered, and hoped, it could be something she could get used to if it was with the girl her arms were wrapped around.
"Now I didn't say you had to cool your jets. I like when you're running hot. Especially if I'm the one making it happen." Reggie teased, ducking her head to catch Harper's lips, wanting the seriousness of the moments before to pass by. The two of them were still in a good place and still had a chance. Rather than worry about the what ifs, Reggie relished that feeling. She used to never have a problem with that, and it had been a long time since she had an opportunity to try it again. As they kissed, Reggie shifted her body to have Harper less pressed against Reggie's body and more under it instead. Then Reggie pulled back before they got too lost in the kiss, their eyes connecting and time taking another pause, "Hey," Reggie needlessly greeted. A smirk tugged on the corner of her lips as she placed a hand on the side of Harper's neck, feeling courageous for a moment as she whispered softly, "I like you." They were alone at the moment, but Reggie still wanted the words to only be for Harper's ears. It wasn't much, though it was a start.