how to be rani's best friend:
*slytherin
*scorpio (or big scorpio energy)
*likes marina and the diamonds
*probably actually a corvid cursed to take human form
*attended catholic school but is definitely not catholic
idk yall it's weird im trying to map out the nexus of all my best friends’ personalities to discover what my Ultimate Friend is
This story was (is) a birthday gift for @incaseofart, featuring their Ampharos Fugue and what happens when he and Rocky meet strange visitors. If you haven’t checked out their work, give it a look! They’re a wonderful person AND artist!
____
“Rocky? Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“Sure! You just have to give it a little extra push at the end of the throw!”
Fugue looks down at the oval-like ball in his grip skeptically. When Rocky had suggested they play a game together, he hadn’t expected that game to be football. He especially hadn’t expected there to be a helmet that fit him. And most of all, he hadn’t expected Rocky to run ahead 400 feet and tell him to throw the ball to him.
“This is definitely one of the stranger things Rocky has wanted us to do together,” he murmurs, looking at the Pikachu who is hopping about expectantly.
For a moment the Ampharos winces, thinking about the size of the ball in comparison to the size of the recipient.
“Either I miss him, crush him, or by some miracle throw it at a perfect arc that doesn’t clobber him upon receipt,” Fugue mutters under his breath. “Seeing as how the last one is not probable…”
He looks at Rocky, then a few feet to the left of him, pulls back, and lets the ball fly.
Rocky notices the ball is going off-course and scrambles towards it. Fugue, meanwhile, watches, relieved that Rocky won’t reach it in time. Then the wind picks up. With surprise that quickly becomes consternation, and then horror, the Ampharos watches the ball drift back to Rocky, and then…
WHAM!
…
When the Pikachu comes to, he sees Fugue leaning over him. Vague sounds can be heard coming from the panicked electric-type’s mouth, but it takes a few moments before they come through with clarity.
“Rocky?! Speak to me!”
The Pikachu shakes his head a bit, then half-smiles. “Hey, Fugue.”
The resulting sigh of relief is quickly followed with a flurry of questions.
“Are you okay? Any broken bones? Can you move? Do you need a hand getting up?”
Rocky raises a paw to try and calm his friend. “I’m fine, thanks. I’ve taken much bigger hits in the head than that.”
Fugue is hardly consoled by this knowledge, as evidenced by the frown only becoming a bit larger.
“I’m sorry, Rocky, I—”
“No, no,” says the Pikachu, sitting up and chuckling. “It’s not your fault. I wanted to try something new and it looks like I’m not quite cut out for this!”
“We’re not,” replies Fugue.
“Sure, but we gave it a good try and now we know.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
Rocky nods very slowly, testing his joints and smiling. “Nothing really hurt. Just got the wind knocked out of me.”
Fugue shakes his head. “I’m glad nothing else was knocked out of you.”
The Pikachu chuckles, before suddenly pausing and looking up.
“What is it?”
“I’m seeing stars.”
For a moment Fugue is alarmed all over again, but he follows Rocky’s eyes and is stunned upon looking up to see a darkening sky filled with beacons of light.
“How…did…it become night…in less than ten minutes?” the Ampharos stammers.
“I don’t know…but if you see it too then I know it wasn’t the football,” Rocky chuckles.
Fugue nods, a little dumbstruck, before peering back up at the lights.
“Are they getting closer?” he asks quietly.
“It would seem so,” replies Rocky with a degree of nervousness in his voice.
The lights continue their approach, getting ever closer. Rocky and Fugue look at each other, unsure whether to prepare to fight or run for it – and then – zap!
The two awaken to find themselves in a gigantic white, empty chamber. It’s quiet, and the Pokémon are sitting back to back. They seem to be alone.
“Okay…” Fugue murmurs. “This is…troubling.”
Rocky gets to his feet. “Any idea where we are?”
The Ampharos shakes his head ruefully. “I couldn’t tell you. I don’t remember anything after those lights.”
“Me neither,” replies Rocky quietly. “I think we’ve been kidnapped.”
“But why?” asks Fugue. “Who’d want to kidnap us?”
“I’d say Team Rocket, but…this isn’t their style.”
The two are interrupted suddenly by the opening of a previously invisible door, and a shadowy figure enters. Rocky takes a battle stance, Fugue does the same -- but as the figure steps into the light both are disarmed by the appearance of their visitor.
It’s an Ampharos…but not like Fugue…or for that matter, much like Deneb or any other Ampharos they’ve met. It kind of looks like an Ampharos that had its colors run through a negative photo processor. The tail is missing the quintessential orb, which is instead located at the center of the neck, and the flipper like arms are complemented with four claw like appendages, a pair on either side. What is perhaps most striking, however, is their visitor’s pleasant smile!
The unusual Ampharos steps past Fugue and towards Rocky, who for a moment peers at the approaching alien creature with apparent anxiety. This is quickly interrupted, however, when the Ampharos places the two flippers around Rocky’s ears. The Pikachu goes bolt upright for a moment. His eyes fog over and he steadies himself. Then he turns and smiles at Fugue – only his smile is more like the Ampharos’s earlier grin. The alien Ampharos, for their part, has gone rather still.
“Ah, so this is your method of speech!” says Rocky, in a voice not quite his own.
“What have you done to him?” asks Fugue, stunned initially, but now both frightened and angry.
“Peace,” Rocky says quickly. “I have not harmed your companion. He is stored safely within the body I traded for his own. See?”
The alien Ampharos begins to stir, and then suddenly lets out a cry of surprise.
Initially, the other Ampharos looks rather panicked, but they slowly calm down and Rocky – or what should be Rocky – smiles again.
“I wished to speak with you in a language you’d understand. His brain suits the purpose.”
“First I want some answers!” Fugue retorts, more than a little angrily. “Who are you, and where do you get off kidnapping us and then stealing my friend’s body?!”
“My name is Altimus, from the Ampharan Empire, and it’s a temporary trade!” replies the Pikachu pleasantly. “Rather than upload our language into a new brain to be installed into you, I thought it best to negotiate in your own tongue first!”
At this, Fugue looks a little queasy, but he steadies himself. “Okay. Well, you have my attention. What do you want?”
Altimus laughs, before gesturing to the other Pokémon to follow him. They exit the large room and find themselves in a dark hallway.
“You were not aware that Pokémon like us exist. Am I correct?”
“Yeah,” Fugue replies, on one hand starting to become interested in this discovery of an alien ship, but on the other hand still very concerned for not only his own safety, but that of his friend, who is klutzing along behind them in his unfamiliar body.
“⮸🡙► 🢩🢧🡘 ▽🢧←🢫↙◢ 🢩🡙🡘🢩↙►🢪🢫 ◄↑🢧◄⭳ ◢🢫▽⭠”
Altimus smiles. “You’re a quick learner. Most Pokémon I switch brains with need at least a day to learn how to speak.”
“Listen…” Fugue says slowly. “I don’t mean to be rude. I’m sure that where you’re from it’s not always…weird, to swipe your guests out of thin air and swap bodies with them, but where I come from…that’s not just a faux pas, it’s grounds for calling the military.”
“I suppose I have been a bit rough in my handling. I’ll ‘cut to the chase,’ as you like to say. The empire needs a new governor. We’re looking to expand into this galaxy and we need someone who understands local politics. As you mentioned, it’s not polite in this quadrant to pick up folks without warning and swap bodies with them. Your knowledge of this area would be invaluable in helping us establish a good foundation for our societal expansion!”
The Alien-Rocky has by now tripped over his own feet three times.
“Lots of practice,” replies the Pikachu with a chuckle. “But anyway, initial thoughts, Ampharos of Quadrant One?”
“My name is Fugue. And I’m going to have to decline.”
“Oh…but you haven’t even had a chance to evaluate the perks! After all, we’re not asking for volunteer service. You’ll have full access to our cultural records, extensive scientific research, political power – the best of everything the Ampharan have to offer!”
Altimus flips a switch, and suddenly the lights in the area go on, showing vast open spaces on either side of the hall where other Ampharan are working, studying, and…even playing. It’s an impressive display – an entire culture in a single hallway. Rocky is fascinated, even in his foreign frame. Fugue watches for a little, blown away by the idea that such a similar species has done all this – but then he has a question.
“Why me?”
“The records we gathered from preliminary surveys indicate you are an Ampharos of excellent repute and character. Even the Pikachu whose body I now possess is a character reference for you. Our society is built on character – only those deemed worthy of leadership are asked to this role, and we like to hire from outside.”
Fugue nods. “I see. Well…in that light, the offer isn’t as bad but – I still have a serious problem with you turning my friend into your microphone.”
“As I said, it was most expedient.”
“Sure, but – it’s still…well, anyway, my answer stands. I’m going to have to decline.”
The Pikachu looks rather disappointed. “We came a fair distance so I could ask. Are you sure you can’t at least sleep on it?”
Fugue shakes his head. “I’m pretty happy with my family and friends and life here. Although…if I don’t take the job – perhaps you have someone else who will?”
“I doubt it,” replies Altimus ruefully. “We don’t believe in warlike invasions or anything like that, so without a proper representative we can’t exactly move in, and we didn’t have other candidates in mind.”
Fugue shakes his head. “Well, I’m sorry, in a way, that my refusal creates this many logistical issues, but I’m glad that you’re not a warlike culture, and that you won’t hold it against me.”
“Okay, but could you imagine what it would mean if we were? Think about it – the lot of us can swap bodies. That would be utterly disastrous for warfare. You’d never know who the enemy was. Totally impractical.”
Despite still having trouble balancing, the Ampharan that is Rocky cracks up at this last remark.
“Tell you what,” says Fugue thoughtfully. “I don’t want your time down here to be a total waste, so I’ll teach you a tradition from our quadrant, provided you give my friend his body back right away.”
“Hm…” the Pikachu strokes his chin. “It’s a nice body – got a lot of hidden potential – oh don’t give me that look. I promised I’d return it and I always keep my word. Now then…”
He wanders back over to the Ampharan, which has fallen down for the umpteenth time, and places a paw on both ears.
“Whoa…” Rocky shakes his head. “That was surreal. Oh, hey Fugue!”
“I cannot properly describe how happy I am to see you, Rocky,” Fugue smiles, hugging his friend briefly.
“Well, technically it seems I never left,” chuckles the Pikachu, looking over at their alien companion.
“I do appreciate you letting me learn your method of speech,” says Altimus in a surprisingly natural voice.
“And I, yours!” Rocky laughs. “Too bad no one will ever have a clue what I’m saying when I use it.”
“Okay,” replies the Ampharan. “Now what is this tradition you wish to show me?”
“Do you have a lot of others you can call on short notice?” Fugue smiles.
…
Later that night, the Ampharos and Pikachu make their way down the path, laughing as they go.
“You and I may be no good at football, but they were terrible!” Rocky is somewhat teary-eyed.
“It’s true,” Fugue replies, giggling. “I think the additional limbs make it that much harder.”
“Yeah. You know, aside from zapping us into their ship and borrowing my brain, they weren’t too bad! I’m sorta bummed we won’t see them anymore,” Rocky murmurs.
“Well, it was nice to meet them aside from those things, but I’m just glad they didn’t insist on making me one of their political leaders.”
“I bet you would have done a good job, but I’m glad you stayed with us too,” Rocky smiles, hugging his friend from the side.
“Ah, you know me, Rocky. My home is where my family and friends are.”
“So…if I move to outer space…”
“Don’t even think about it.”
“I mean…I already know the language!”
They both laugh and continue their walk home. Overhead, the sky begins to darken, this time naturally, and as the sun dips over the horizon the flying craft follows, disguising itself in the light.
…
“Fugue would have been an excellent leader,” Altimus says with some regret. “But…I think maybe he really is needed more right here.”
As the Ampharan muses, the whistle signals them back to the field.
“For now…let’s see if I can finish a pass without getting…how did he put it? Oh, right. Sacked!”
…
“Thanks for hanging out with me, Fugue.”
“Any time, Rocky. You know I enjoy our time together.”
“Rockets, aliens, my own brain – is there anything you haven’t saved me from yet?”
“Zombie apocalypse?”
“No, no, that’s on my reserved list. I have to save YOU from that one.”
