i wish i wasn't scared in the way i am - brackets

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i wish i wasn't scared in the way i am - brackets
i have not forgotten to post i have been dragged out of commission
[fun fact : there was a whole layer where exclamania was taking place on/being reflected on in system]
[and i thought this was normal]
[its also why i was able to rip out the forest on some level] [and why the forest which an evil wizard cast a spell on the heart of to make it effectively scare off and sterilize all life that entered exists in canon on some level]
[considering the proximity to johns mansion it might have been him who casted it in lore]
[also i lost the location of that layer (not surprising given the scale of my system)]
[anyway the chunk of land that got ripped out is half in a semi conventional space/scale and half in the layer where my subsystem lives (which is part of how gift can get away with shmovement)]
[and probably how my narrators got back to my subsystem (not as guests)]
[there isn't a timeline where an even somewhat canon typical me would be ok with a "affection of the gods is being granted on you" type plotline]
[-without someone doing something fucked up and evil to that me]
[if its an "affection of a god who is so beyond you because of them not being trapped" its even less likely to be ok with any me]
[and if its in a coded role the god starting it is going to be treated with the same dignity and respect of some asshole who's sexually or romantically harassing a waiter] [because if im in a coded role i have the same level of ability to leave and to consent as one]
one of me is freaking out in a way thats stressful and debilitating and i cant tell which of me it is - brackets
bweh :^[
dont remember
dont feel good
tired
- brackets