Dec 30, 2024
Okay, but what about the godkin (and others!) who do want to be worshiped, who do want offerings and prayers? There has to be an ethical and consensual way to do this!
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Okay, but what about the godkin (and others!) who do want to be worshiped, who do want offerings and prayers? There has to be an ethical and consensual way to do this!
Does anyone else only sometimes, rarely, or not at all get phantom limbs, related to alterhumanity?
When I really, really pay attention, I can feel my ears, muzzle, tail and get this weightier feeling. But other than that, I don't feel or notice them.
Would love to hear people's thoughts!!
Literally how does my singing always get better when I'm SICK
The gender fuckery in this system is beautiful and deranged, and I say that in the most loving way possible
Saw like, a bust statuette of Daedric Armor on Etsy and had a moment of "oh I forgot I had a kink for that"
Good morning inanimate object transformation nation
I fucking hate GTA 5 and the complete and utter, violent and abusive bigotry it spouts. I hate that I am watching this longplay. Even as someone who understands you can enjoy dogshit media as long as you're very critical, this is just BAD.
That being said, I have to admit A) the way the characters are in my head and B) the few diamonds in the awful rough in the game are really good.
Important Vent
I know I've been venting a lot on this blog lately. I'm sorry. I'm sleep deprived, food deprived, stimulation deprived, and everything is getting to me.
To any of the people actively talking to me rn are reading this (so, Pupa and Khajiit); I'm sorry if I seem off. I've had my head sawed off so many times, all by people I thought I could trust, so it takes me some time to trust at all. In all honesty, I think I will always be scared.
To Reshi, Vi, Pumpkin, Salmon, Lance, and whoever else knows their name should be here:
How could you? Every single one of you is blind beyond belief. How could you be so cruel, so cold, so violent, so manipulative, to someone who had made the simple mistake of speaking his mind? Every single one of you projected, gaslit, attacked, minimized, and deprived me, and I know none of you feel any guilt.
I thought I was genuinely evil for 2 years. I thought my anger was delusional. I suppressed headmates who wanted to speak their mind because I was so beyond afraid of what each of you would do to me. As soon as you "helped" me ban Vera, all of you fell to shit. You all forced me into quick, unhelpful, unethical growth, all while becoming complete degenerates in the process. How come I was the only one made to be responsible? Why was I persecuted for no crime at all?
Getting my head sawed off was not an if; it was an inevitable when, and you blamed me for fighting it rather than acknowledging any of your own problems.
Two of you sent and received sexual drawings and conversations from a minor. Said minor was allowed in sexual group chats by their now-partner, who defends the pedophile who abused me. Two of you called me vindictive for wanting support and to talk about to said pedophile. Three of you attacked and persecuted me for the heinous crime of not being your slave. All of you defended yourselves without ever considering my perspective the way I had to blindly accept yours, lest I be punished.
I hope you open your hearts to someone the same way I opened mine to you, and I hope they hurt you tenfold. Why? Why? Why?
To Joshi:
You lied to me.
You were not on my side. You did not believe me. You did not care for me the same way I cared for you. It is evident in the few actions I saw from you after I left. You dropped me faster than I could even think about it. Posi dropped me just as fast. And I know you ran back to Reshi and Vi, who you told me you believed abused me.
I know in my heart of hearts, your unjust, painful, neutral disdain for me will never outweigh the rightful guilt you feel. I hope both eat you alive. Is all you can feel neutrality? Are you so afraid of killing a snake that you let the mouse be eaten?
You can put as much distance between your identity and your crimes as you want. I cannot stop any of you from living your life - you act like I have ever had power over you, someone 5 years older than me who groomed me and set me up for failure. But you can never put distance between your crimes, and the fact that they make you a monster.
I protected you. I defended you. I aided you. I adored you. I may as well have worshiped you, it would have made no difference. And as much as I'm grateful for being the one to cut you off, I will never forget that you are the one who is guilty.
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I hope that I can stop being the villain to all of you someday.
Signed, Your Sacrificial Lamb.
Hung out with my gods for a bit, did my meditation, Cassie and Azura and I think Nightshade fronted for a bit? Couldn't sleep, so we're up doing a few tasks.
Still hanging out with my gods, doing a lot of introspection with them. I shaved my chin, self-soothed, brushed my teeth AND stretched a little bit BUT RESISTED THE URGE TO EXERCISE!!!!! Barely, but still!!
Side note: If you're weird about exercise (think it's mandatory, think it's always beneficial, think it can cure or universally help with disabilities, etc) then I will block you and I will be mean about it. Fuck off lol