"If it's normal, then why do you need to celebrate it?"
The above quote is something I've seen many times as a "gotcha" for queer folk trying to celebrate pride month, and also as a genuine question from uninformed allocishets. I have personally received this question multiple times both as an act of aphobia and genuine confusion. So, why is pride necessary (aspec edition!)?
As an asexual and aromantic person, I very rarely see people like me in the real world and in media. In fact, just now I can think of maybe five canonically asexual characters, and two canonically aromantic ones (both of them, by the way, are also asexual. We need aroallo rep as well!!!) When it comes to real life, I know 2 other asexuals, with myself being the only aromantic. (Of course this is excluding people I've only interacted with online, if I included them the numbers would be much higher.)
That lack of representation means that many aspecs feel outcast growing up, knowing there's something "wrong" or "broken" about them (there is NOT, for the record) but being unable to pinpoint why. I was one of the lucky ones who had chronically online and queer friends from an early age who introduced me to the terms many years before I ended up discovering myself, but that is far from the norm.
We also very rarely see aspec flags in pride merch! Even during pride month, I find myself having to scour the stalls for anything asexual, let alone aromantic or even aroace (and if you're somewhere more nuanced on either spectrum, just forget it. Demis might get lucky occasionally (and of course demisexual is more common than demiromantic in my experience), but everything else is nothing.) In fact, there have been times where I saw very niche microlabel flags I didn't even know the name of, but not one aspec flag!
I will never forget the year I went to a pride parade and there was a stall selling flag jewelry. They had a bunch of flags, including asexual and aromantic (the latter of which I bought). I was naturally extremely excited, and the person working the register gave me a business card and a paper with an etsy discount code (unfortunately I lost it so I can't tell you the brand, sorry!!) Later I was passing a group and overheard someone lamenting to their friends about the lack of asexual related anything. I instantly stopped them, directed them to the stall, and gave them the etsy code paper (not really on purpose it was just the closest one in my bag but I figured they would get more use out of it anyways). The look of pure joy on that person's face will never leave my brain. I thought they might cry in front of me at the idea of someone representing their identity at a massive event.
This is why pride is so important. Seeing yourself represented and being told in no uncertain terms that you aren't alone means more than could ever be described, though I hope I managed to do it some form of justice <2
Happy pride, everyone!
