#-mm

[macabre-vernissage]

how its been feeling recently

[companionwolf]

i'm still here

still here

still don't know who i am really

i mean i know who i am

but not who i am

there's a difference

and i'm still a footnote of a person

but i'm also still here

[spxcemace]

Heads up I’m going to be reblogging posts with ISAT spoilers in them on my next giant reblog spree that is inevitably coming soon. Blacklist the tag “isat spoilers” and play this game blind if you haven’t yet because this game killed me dead forever okay good day

[companionwolf]

it's not wrong i think

to want to be more

to be solid and someone and real

rea worries that somehow causing further elaboration would be unhealthy

but feeling like a footnote of a person

that's unhealthy too i think

not like we even know how to fix this

at least it's not a new problem

at least i'm not entirely alone with it

[companionwolf]

it's not that i don't want to do things

it isn't that

it's the sense of disconnect

to everything that the lobby people like and do

to everything and anything at all

not knowing what i myself like

or what i myself want to do

i want to do something

sitting here isn't fun

but there's a sense of being stuck

[companionwolf]

i keep looking at things like they'll explain this dissociative stuff better

like if i just read enough

if i just 'get it' enough

that knowledge will .. change something?

make this different

make this better

i don't know

[companionwolf]

i feel fake

this isn't real

i'm not either

'denial kicks in when it gets too much; this too is smoke proving the fire' NO