Jan 24
purple lace bra by tate mcrae is a tzjd post philly reunion song but in a trevor realizing they were never what he thought they were kinda way
#like what if you thought you had a connection with this person in a really serious way#but it turns out the whole thing was colored by the joyful exuberance of youth and it was never like that for him!#what if you went through what felt like the worst year and a half of your life entirely alone#and the only person who might actually understand doesn't want to be in it with you (not like that anyways)#all you want is someone to be vulnerable with but every time you say something real you can feel him losing interest#you're at his place and it's late and you want to spend the whole night talking (like you used to)#but then he's not-so-subtly trying steer you towards his bedroom (and when that doesn't work? the sofa)#and suddenly his mouth is on you and that's fine it's good even but that's not what you wanted! that's not what you're here for!#he's only attentive when you're hooking up#he only listens when you're making him feel good#he'll toss you a kind word or two if you're fucking#(or if he's trying to fuck you)#(or in the brief period of afterglow before he falls asleep if you're lucky)#but at the end of the day you know (even if he doesn't) that the sweet pillow talk is meant to placate you more than anything else#jamie likes trevor but trevor LOVES jamie#(jamie likes trevor but he likes him better with his clothes off)#and the sick thing is? trevor's going to keep coming back for it again and again (even if it makes him feel awful)#if his proverbial purple lace bra is all that catches jamie's attention? well then he supposes he'd better keep wearing it#it's better than the alternative of not having jamie at all right?#...right???
