#..gray

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7 am and my brain is screaming code blue When I think about you and the things I have to Do today numb and heavy Unsteady

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this rain is melancholy in my bones, just a deep ache in the marrow. but it’s desperately needed to wash away the silence of the winter. percussion on rooftops, tiny leaves for snares. slices of green in everything i see. 

empty your sadness like you’re standing in the rain soaking up all the good intentions i have for you and all the promise of a new season. the clouds are racing now, but in the heat of a few months, they’ll be lazy like me. business done, they clear out quick, don’t want to leave any evidence. 

i’m a sponge and there’s nothing i haven’t been saturated in.

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i’m sleeping in all the beds i’ve ever slept in walking through a dozen empty apartments parking lots and starlight, street lights make the world new i’ve got just this drink and my fingers laced with ghosts i can feel the tracks under my feet and when the train goes by it shakes my soul these windows are dirty, but i look out through them and see a world i never belonged to i’m looking in to warm living rooms and lives i’ll never lead i just want to understand the way other people dream because nothing makes sense anymore and i want to find refuge in a place that will never be mine empty shells of empty hearts there’s a spark in your heart to light my cigarette on i’ll breathe you in and keep you under my skin it’s the only way we can connect because you’ll never let me in

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I need to take a pill to make this town feel okay I said that yesterday and I feel it today Its loud in my speakers and louder in my head Can’t wait to burn this bridge and find another dead end Want to lose myself almost as much as I want to lose you I used to dream about the future but now I just dream about Who we used to be  And how much I hated it

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i still can’t remember your face but here’s a polaroid of you passed out on my bed these are our test flights in the desert “someday we’ll get to the moon,” i thought but you never will my plus one, minus one breakneck speed on the overpass and i’m passing under this rain cloud hope i make it out the other side take one to forget one white to average out the blues i used to swallow them but now i’m just counting out the raindrops under gray skies one, two, hum under my breath while my call is being put through there’s no secret chord to save me now no way to get through to you on the other line just dead air

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The wind is picking up, electric on my skin I feel like a storm is rolling in But it's just the tempest of your heart Clouds low across the seaboard We're in for a hell of a night Leave me to weather this alone I can't stand to be this close to you I can't survive another restless night on the rolling sea Sick, sick I left my legs, my heart on shore In the safety of a bottle on port Drop anchor, I'll swim back Drown me , Drown me I can't breathe with all this saltwater in my lungs Kick and scream Stroke until you're tired Sink into this dark endless horizon

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There's only me and you. I'm too high and you're too low Let's make a compromise and meet in the median of my car crash heart Overpass, pass me over Going 300 miles an hour Take a detour, re tour through my veins Somehow we'll find a way Dream big baby don't sell yourself short You're laying in the gutter next to the river of dreams Just roll over and float downstream