After talking with BG I decide to head up to the warehouse and see what D is doing. We talk for a few minutes then begin just walking, our hands clasped tightly together.
We come upon a garden. How do I not notice a garden in my own home? Oh yes, because I haven’t explored yet. I spend most of my time in one of the two bedrooms, the bathroom, gym, library or conference room. And even then, I mostly just stop to change clothes and head up the stairs.
He stops as we walk through the door. I let go of his hand and walk to the edge of the grass. I notice that he doesn’t walk into the grass with me.
I can’t go any farther. But you go. This should have been a warning sign for me, but it was a nice day and I wanted to explore.
It’s beautiful. I twirl like a little girl in a new spring dress. Then I see a sword hanging from the tree. Not my usual sword, probably just one stored away in the warehouse somewhere.
It’s time then? I ask. D just smiles. And before I can think, they’re on me, creatures made of shadow wielding blades bigger than mine. After the first death I wipe the blood on my robes. Then the onslaught resumes. I fight and kill and fight some more. Every once in a while my perception changes and I catch glimpses of myself, covered in blood from head to foot, blood spraying off my sword.
I take a step back from the fighting and quickly sheath my sword. Then will my axe to my belt. It appears, heavy on my hip. I really shouldn’t have been able to do this, but whatever. Then the fighting continues. I do much better with the axe with its delicately curved blades and pointed ends that are good for getting shadows in the face or stomach.
I’m not paying enough attention to what’s behind me and one of the creatures gets me in the back/through the side back to front. I turn to face it, swipe my axe at about knee height and his legs come off, disappearing as they do. I stop for a minute and pull the sword out. The pain is almost too much. I wonder why my vision hasn’t started to slip. This should hurt a lot more than it does. I rip a section off the bottom of my robe and tie it around me. It’s not going to do much good, but my focus is elsewhere.
I walk up to it, but forget to be careful of its swinging arms. It knocks me off my feet and my axe lands a ways behind me with a thud. I grab the axe and crawl up to the creature and bury my weapon in its face. As the body disappears, I take a minute to breath.
The fighting doesn’t go on too long, only five or ten minutes. And each shadow creature disappears after I kill it otherwise the killing ground would be littered with bodies, but the blood remains.
As I look around, I just know I’m going to be overwhelmed. I walk to the stone pathway surrounding the garden. I want to use the higher ground to my advantage. I push energy out, hoping to knock the swarming creatures down. But as I do, D (magically) pushes me back into the killing field. I roll past the shadows and nearly lose my axe.
No magic, he says. I nod and continue fighting. I take out a couple more but one gets behind me with a knife and slits my throat. I lay choking and gasping. The game is over and the shadows disappear. I have lost, but I wasn’t supposed to win. This was about fighting even against unbeatable odds. That knowledge is so clear to me.
I use magic to heal the wound on my neck. I look over at D. “Would you mind?”
Of course, he says. He comes and puts his arm around my waist, helping me to stand. We start hobbling towards the door.
Sorry to just spring this on you.
It’s okay. I knew it was coming eventually.
He nods, What was the lesson?
Perseverance. The way of Warrior and the Sovereign.
Good girl, he says with a smile.
He helps me to the bath, heals my side and helps me wash. I dress in plain clothes and go to rest. He curls around me and I quickly fall asleep.
I know this is the easiest it will be. All I had to do was fight and die. To not give up. But I expect to be thrown into this lesson several more times. It also makes the gender-shift dream with all of the combat practice make sense.
And now I understand why BG smiled at me when I asked about Shadow Work earlier. She knew what D had planned.
