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Day 49 of drawing Pokemon from memory, it’s Quagsire!!!!
Speedpaint!
Most Beloved Wrestler Tournament
#0195
Matt Jackson
John Cena
because he kissed u
and because your happiest moment was plagued by the saddest emotions— through and through, a part of you wants it to work so bad that you were willing to look past the fact that you both shouldn’t ruin a good thing by linking up or hooking up and the truth is that it hurts to hold something so close to you that you can hardly breathe, but it’s worse because you don’t want to let go and neither does he
somewhere in all of this we’ve asked the seasons to give us a better name than a possible regret going wrong, somewhere in all of this, my heart just can’t take it anymore. i’m all out of ways to not love you, but it’s got me broken-hearted. i need you, but the fear that drives my survival— what if i hurt you?
i can stray from this path for a while longer, i can stand for nothing and die for anything. i hear your soul is a lovely place this time of year— i’ve been dabbling with love and it always leaves me a little too quiet. you make me high, you make me crazy. you make me anxious, you make me shy. you give me strength, you give me confidence, but you also make me so weak when it comes to you, you make it so possible to be me at all times and that’s why i am afraid to damage something so pure and enlightening to me.
i can listen to your laughter and story telling all day long, it’s like you’ve always got something to say. you never pressure me into doing shit that i don’t want to do. you always know the right words to say. you know when i feel bad, so you know when and how to act. your heart is so fucking big, i couldn’t house it in my chest even if i was a giant and in some way— i’m content with that. you’re perfect in your ways and that’s the thing that i am most afraid of. the terror of losing you because of time. the horrifying thought that love will ultimately be the reason that we’re torn apart. i would rather be your friend forever than to be your lover for a few years— that’s the problem isn’t it? i’m so scared of the what if this happens, what if this goes wrong that i wouldn’t even come close to the fact that you could be the start of something completely different. what if you prove to be something more real and genuine than i had originally thought? but also, what if i’m the reason that we don’t work out? so then why did you kiss me?
and isn’t that all that we want? my love?
to know that no matter how things end— it happened. tell me that we’re going to see this ending in the right ways. i can trail behind your bread crumbs, i can chase after your scent like a blood hound— your heart is injured and i’m running out of ways to just be a bystander. i want to be the solution for our eternal loneliness. i want to be inside of your dreams, but closer to the sunlight that bounces off your skin. i have seen you rescue me. i have seen you appreciate me. i have seen you be more than i could ask for. it all seems surrreal. being around you like this is like living out a dream already— so i want to ask you again?
why ruin a good thing just because he kissed you?
|Day 195|
Quagdish
Quagsire speedpaint!
Original post here