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Should i go for the decision where it scares me? Will i grow if i go for it? Will it be worth it?

#kuraraxmemori #kuraraxmemori2021 #052521 #2021

Sometimes i scare myself. Im scared of how easy it is for me to self-destruct, let myself go, and almost completely not care about the consequences of my actions. What if this is the day I go too far? What if I go completely numb and do something so reckless I’m going to later on regret when I snap back to reality? I really scare me.

It took so many years, yet saying it now still feels so weak of me, that I miss my anchor who keeps me in place. I need an anchor to keep me steadily afloat. I keep finding myself so lost in my own sea and just thinking of getting back to shore alone seems more exhausting that just letting myself float away, go with the wind, let it take me where it wants.

#cxxx #052521