So, we decided not to talk to each other anymore for awhile, like a break from each other. This is hard because mostly all my passwords are all about you. My laptop login, tumblr, rf, ipod, phone, aim, & etc. Just Wonderful.

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So, we decided not to talk to each other anymore for awhile, like a break from each other. This is hard because mostly all my passwords are all about you. My laptop login, tumblr, rf, ipod, phone, aim, & etc. Just Wonderful.
Apparently it is now my fault that we got into this fight. We fight practically every single day now. One little slip and we fight. I hate it when we fight because you list all these things that i feel really insecure about. I already know how selfish and stubborn i can be you don't have to rub it in my face. yeah i'll try to improve, but i have been like that since i was small and no one had complain yet. Well the people that "complain" are my best friend, but they are already used to my stupidness, rudeness, selfishness, and stubborness (not even sure if they are words). Also every time we fight you would talk like this WHOLE other person really mature and all. I hate that ! makes me feel like my parents are lecturing me. I hate the fact that when we fight in my head i have a thousand reasons to back up my idea, but once you start questioning me my mind goes blank ! so i sit here thinking what is this.. i can't think straight. Then once i give you an answer you think i'm making up lame stupid excuses. NOT EVERYTHING I SAY IS JUST AN EXCUSE. only when we fight my "excuses" are actually true. The one thing i hate the most when we fight is that we would start to grow farther apart from each other. I remember that one time we were fighting and you said " I have no idea who you are now." Do you know how much that hurt me. Made me feel like a bs girlfriend. Maybe we do need a little time apart from another. Maybe it would help. Maybe it won't. Who knows.
061811 - 072311
that's over a month of things ._. blurp
061811 -a childhood home -rumi's poetry -drum techniques -flying first class -lemonade -a decrease in crime -making moccasins at camp -first edition scrabble -soft music -gale force showerheads
061911 -gap boxer shorts -radishes -happy hearts -electric skillet suppers -a satiated mind -turret rooms -funny nicknames for relatives -pasta salad -going home together -pave diamond jewlery
062011 -camp carpools -losing yourself in work -love of learning -ethnic grocery stores -the sound of scissors -a 200 year old house -steam railroads -helping someone -flickering sunlight -nests
062111 -pince nez glasses -nightshirts -unlikely juxtapositions -the gift of a spa treatment -underwater lights -mindful explorers -optimistic daydreaming -bottles of perrier -picnic tables -a rockbound coast
062211 -wing chimes [yay they sound pretty] -filet mignon -the philosopher santayana -bamboo furniture -inappropriate laughter -learning to whittle [i used to always wanna do this when i was little] -new sheet music [yay] -teacup bouquest -graduation
062311 -dried fruit on cereal -sipping a margarita -patio dining -limitless curiosity -your yoga practice -changes that feel good -local fruit -coffee served in silver -multicolored homes -comparing playlists -conscious restraint
062411 -bar harbor lobster salad -bookworming -cascading white flowers -streets scrubbed clean -raspberry ice -sourdough starter -tan in a bottle [ew] -heirloom handkerchiefs -time to browse -beer can chicken
062511 -thai food -miniature corn -summer nights -choosing a watermelon -going back to sleep -blackberry sorbet -showing abundant love -cushy shoes -red, yellow, and blue -seagulls mewing
062611 -pulled pork sandwiches -dragonflies skittering -freshly made fries -the wind at night -a silk robe -canning your own vegetables -a moderate rain -revving up the lawn mower -making a pledge to public radio -petite diced tomatoes
062711 -meat with grill marks -acting like a kid -having a great uncle -decorating a birdhouse -a measure of gumption -pickle pimento loaf -the kitchen bulletin board -golf balls on the moon -ostriches -carpet roadways filled with matchbox cars
062811 -cookout food -painting landscapes -broiled apricots -alluring cabarets -tickets in the mail -spinach dip in tomatoes -bright yellow -dining in a romantic garden -smooth, thick applesauce -a buyer's market
062911 -a rowboat with a motor -coffee savored on the couch -getting tan on the deck -the graduation present you hoped for -dense, moist gingerbread -your past lives [o_O] -harmonica playing -gardening gloves -red clay tennis courts -lichen
063011 -butterfly nets -painting for fun -a restaurant's specials -making a cameo appearance -life's little accomplishments -a zen garden -the wild country -the scent of pineapple -good conversation -taking that risk
070111 -your weekly breakfast out -monks chanting -makeup palettes -watching fireworks -the perfect steak -the sign for your exit -batting practice -the shade of tree canopies -beach stuff in your car trunk -weekend visitors
070211 -little entrepreneurs -fresh berries on cereal -superior sense -in the water boat shows -grilling all three meals -the color of sand dunes -toasted marshmallows -a picnic with friends -a license to fish -well rested truck drivers
070311 -a quiet 24 hours -ratatouille -anything dropped that doesn't break -jumping for joy -making a rubber band ball -playing a round of golf -falling asleep to the sound of raindrops -paperbacks on the beach -a weekend in new england -tiki torches
070411 [july 4th!] -launching a kayak -seedless watermelon -natural highs -loaves of squaw bread -a platter of crudites -sunshine replacing dark clouds -magazines and iced tea -a fabulous salad -lassoing a steer -petite sirah wine
070511 -workout out at the y -recipes for potstickers -visiting a big city -tightened knobs on drawers -singing along with your ipod -lemon furniture wax -gourmet grocers -pewter statues -a desktop weather station -the sting of salt air
070611 -patio lights -leftover birthday cupcakes -dining nooks -pushing the envelope -the pyramids of giza -the long beaked echidna -le corbusier's ronchamp chapel -a religious like experience -walking at dawn like jefferson -a walk free of thoughts and worries
070711 -littleleaf lindens -waffle weave blankets -a volleyball net -half price sales -taking minibreaks in the sun -aging well -a rumbling thunderstorm -gramophone record grooves -cool water bottles in the car -coffee cake
070811 -phoning home -relinquishing litter box duty -lunch outdoors -glacier made ridges -a segue -shoes lined up neatly -plastic bags that zip shut -sheep shearing -cupcake icing -french toast fingers and waffle sticks
070911 -blueberry jam -going to flea markets -yoga with a quiet fan -easily opening a swiss army knife -a little piece of solitude -special k and bananas -checking off the recipes you've tried -new music by favorite artists -all the stars above -a day without email
071011 -folding origami -simmering risotto -free refills -a finished attic -an outdoor thermometer -lake sailing -devouring a book in just one weekend -a photo bookmark -eddie bauer jeans -driving with patience
071111 -empty beaches -taking a monday off -white wicker -successful negotiations -tanning lotion -offering and receiving courtesy and respect -aioli on the side -choosing the perfect font -pizza with extra bacon -the $64000 question
071211 -english winter ending in july -micropleasures -a newly paved highway -whispering in someone's ear -taking time to slow down -heavily laden bookshelves -cappuccino's froth -hope instilled -a luminous landscape -several projects going at once
071311 -boats at rest -milky whiteness -useful trivia -a wednesday afternoon matinee -long, fingerlike french fries -stone gray -fans on tall stands -picking up the check -jeans shorts -carrying an amulet
071411 -sea birds -a ferry to an island -free samples of cheese -that four day weekend -going from the shower into a robe -surfing at dawn -slanting old floors -having fun at work -officers in dress uniform -the value of pause
071511 -deep blue water -your glabella -learning something new every day -a resume that fits on one page -private celebrations -buttermilk pancakes -something fixed while you wait -a day without pantyhose -early drafts of famous manuscripts -a totally placid pond
071611 -art fairs -cold lemon soup -herbal therapy -the straight and narrow -music on the stereo -sleeping on an enclosed porch -dirt bikes -irreverence -travel kits -your after vacation to do list
071711 -materials you find luxurious -well timed improvisation -flowers in your hotel room -a big, fat catalog -the art institute of chicago -end of weekend wine and a movie -scuba diving -fried green tomatoes -curtains billowing -pears mellowing on the sill
071811 -playing hoops at twilight -clean bedsheets -clever logos -rugged individualism -eyes wide open -mastery over your domain -bartending school -making a famous casserole -pitching a mean softball -hardcover editions of books
071911 -drawings of the old masters -dilemmas fading away -porcelain perfection -hallmark ecards -a molcajete for making guacamole -the j. peterman catalogs -a self determined life -bicycling prince edward island -a lilting song -an old stone villa
072011 -the peak of a mountain -a peaceful hotel -lacrosse -an unpremeditated journey -cleaning your jewelry -your library of mp3s -monarch butterflies -weed whackers -kelpie puppies -a proficiency in spelling
072111 -red sofas -great feedback -meat and potatoes -the big doors of a barn -starting from scratch -the mesh of a window screen -a blacksmith ringing an anvil -playing question and answer games -a gift of wonder -the community of friendship
072211 -warm muffins and bacon -blue thistle flowers -south dakota -the love you give -dandelion heads bobbing -skateboarding on a smooth surface -cue cards -sitting in a treehouse -having inside the track -a glacial erratic
072311 -sunny weddings -pineapple palms -wearing a gingham dress -crystal chimes -hitting the pancake house -saturday nights free -comics written by children -outrigger canoes -star magnitures -dark corners of cocktail lounges
Satisfaction.
June 21-23, 2011
Tuesday. Last day of high school. Stayed outside signing yearbooks with Rae, Edgar, and Maria during first. Went to second for a bit then walked out with Jawstin and Kevin. Found Lalo and made him go everywhere with me, hah. Randomly chilled in the band room with Rae, Laurie, and Filip. Went to McD's with Naphat, Rae, and Laurie during third. Went back to school, signed more yearbooks. Rode with Matt Buan for the first time and went to Starbucks with Emily, Rae, and Laurie. Then went back to school. Found out that they cleared the lockers and they threw my shit away. The black janitor lady was really nice and helped my girlfriend and I look for my stuff. Luckily, I found it but I felt like I smelled like shit afterwards. Went in line to get my cap and gown and then I found out that I supposedly didn't pay for one of my ads. So I had to talk to Ms. Jarman and UGH, it was so frustrating. She wouldn't believe me and complications happened. I ended up crying after I talked to her and she cleared my name. I did NOT have to go through that shit. Ruined my last day of school -__- Walked to Starbucks with Jawstin and he treated me! Felt better (: He dropped me home. Took a shower. Then Filip, Linds, and Laurie picked me up. Got gas then picked Rae and Raph. Went to Michael's to buy stuff to bedazzle our cap. Went to Rae's house. Mel came. We bedazzled our caps. Rae did our nails. Then went home. Hammy came.
Wednesday. Graduation day! Woke up early. Jasmine picked me up with Laurie. Went to Oxy and had our graduation rehearsal. It was so hawt -__- After three hours, finally got to leave. Jasmine dropped me home. Just stayed and chilled there with Hammy. Got ready and headed back to Oxy! Oh my, took pictures and had our graduation ceremony. Whoo, teared up a lot but I actually cried once I hugged Vince. He's leaving me us. I cannot. D': But yeah, finally graduated high school! Thankyou for everyone who came for us. Nikki for the wonderful posters. O's for my lei. Hammy for the flowers. And everyone else :D Went to Ihop after with the fam + Nikki and Hammy. Hella laughing at the table, loved it. Kuya Jr dropped us home. Changed. Then got picked up by Filip, Steph, and Albert. Picked up Rae and Edgar. Mexicarred it, lol. Sat in the front with Rae. I was actually comfortable, hah. Couldn't party because it got raided. So randomly just chilled in the hills. Finally found a spot and played categories. Oh my, nasty ass peach drink. LOL. Well yeah, got dropped back off home.
Thursday. Frkn Casper bugged me the whole morning. He kept barking -__- Got annoyed by first, friends. Then boyfriend. Whatevs, eventually got over it. Hammy got picked up and they dropped me to school. Picked up my diploma and senior DVD. Got picked up by Linds, Filip, and Rae. Went to Linds' house. Mel and Vince were there. Watched most of the senior DVD. I honestly felt unwanted there, I don't know. Filip dropped me home. Got ready and went to church. Nice talk with Manny. Went home. Random webcam sesh with James, Brendan, Nikki, Michelle, Sean, and Amanda. Yeah.
HUMMINGBIRD HEARTBEAT. Stuck in my head all day.
Well yeah, today was such an ugly day for me. I felt unwanted with my friends. Felt very ugly about another thing. Like honestly, I trust you. I just don't trust her. And I'm just worried, ya know? Like, maybe you're getting bored and you fancy her because she's pretty cute. Ugh, IDK. Someone shoot me now OR straight up get me lifted because I am not feeling it right now. Only Nikki's making me happy. Whoo, shout out to her! LOL
LALALA, emo gurl out. ddddd;
5th Day of Summer
I injured the upper back area of my body. Shit is sore as fuck. But on the bright side I was able to get half way in the Private Series: Untouchable.