#071818

[wahsabi]

goodbye miss hammurabi, you will be missed 

[acutestyle]

07.18.18

[only-khimmayy]

I don’t like going in the water here in Alaska because I can’t stand cold water lol but this was pretty fun :) baby bro’s raft 🚣‍♀️ #wednesday #alaskarafting #summer2018 #071818 (at Jewel Lake Park)

[laurencitaaaa]

Sad days

[fuckthisshitttt4-blog]

3:12PM//back and (not) better

Sometimes, we relapse. Sometimes, we take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. Sometimes, we think we are getting better but we aren’t.

When I try to tell people about how I feel, they make it seem as though I am crazy for having these feelings. I can’t talk about how I hate my body and don’t feel like I belong in this skin because “you’re beautiful” or “you’re thin enough!” or “you’re crazy, look at yourself!” Is all people say. I don’t see myself the way some people see me. I hate myself. I hate my body. But as soon as I bring it up, I get told that I’m crazy for feeling that way as if my feelings are invalid.

I can’t talk about being depressed because then my feelings get blamed on the life I am living. My children, my family, my life DOES NOT make me depressed. I am depressed for GOD knows why. I can’t talk about the way I feel because apparently, it is due to “regret”. I just want to talk shit out sometimes but I fucking can’t.

I’m unwanted. I get pushed away. I’m “annoying” because of the things I get excited for. I want to be yellow! But people force me to be dark gray. I can’t be what I want to be because it doesn’t fit other people’s mold of what I should be. I can’t wear clothes I feel confident in because suddenly, I am a fucking object and not a person.

I can’t keep all of this shit to myself because it’s eating me alive. I try to be happy and I try to let my light shine but as soon as it does, it’s a problem to the world. I can not do anything right and I am so tired of feeling like a worthless piece of shit. All I do is try to please others and it is NEVER enough. When the fuck can I start to please myself?

I thought I was getting better. I thought I was beginning to love myself. I thought I was starting to be happy. But as soon as things get tough, I crumble. How much longer can I possibly fake this for?

This is MY fucking life.

WHY can I not be happy?

[rozie-rose]

Nakooo baha. Di tuloy ako nakapasok kanina. 😣

[notababy-babygirl]

Kfine.

Tangina akala ko mermaid nako paglusong ko sa baha e. Hahahahahahaha! Putek. Pero mas muka akong basang sisiw. Infairness, ako yung sisiw sa palabunutan. Yung pink ung buhok. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! ATLEAST PINK! KIKAY PADIN. VERY MEHHHHHH!

[notababy-babygirl]

Magtrabaho na oy! Puro ka sickleave e. Hhahahahhaa. Oh sahod, where na you?