Tmi Tuesday! For everyone willing and able to answer: what is the least satisfying date you've ever been on?
It’s TMI Tuesday! Ask my muse anything you want and they’ll have to answer honestly.
Hes: “Oh, god, I might have a story for this one—one ‘a you guys should go first, though, mine’ll probably be a bit longer. Von, you’ve dated once or twice, right? You got any stories to tell?”
Vonnie: “Ehhh, maybe? I ain’t tellin’ none, though—none ‘a my dates were ever too satisfyin’, to tell the truth. Let’s just say there’s a reason I realized I was ace pretty early on, n’ we’ll leave it at that.”
Hes: “Alright, fair enough, I won’t pry—Russ, what about you? Did Zolovau ever show ya a less-than-good time?”
Russoc: “No, never! Zolo was the greatest man I could’ve asked for—every night with him was the happiest night of my life, for just getting to spend time with him is all the satisfaction I needed. Why, I remember one time, we—”
Hes: “OKAY, we get it, you have the best love life of all of us! I love ya, Russy, but a story from me and you both would take up all of these people’s dashes. Let’s see, who else can we ask…Oh-Ar, you got anything?”
0R-D3: “01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 00100111 01100100 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100111 00111111″
Hes: “Yeesh, that’s rough, buddy. Well, Gemre’s a nerd with no social skills and I dunno if Cer’s ever talked to a girl before, so I doubt they have anything to tell. Heraath, you got anything?”
Heraath: “Mmmmm, no. Your father was the only man I ever loved, and of a dozen dates not one was satisfying—I care not to recount them all. Really, the happiest day with him was the day he took off and left me alone, right before—”
Hes: “Right before you gave me up to Dooku, yeah. Wow. You’re the life of the party as always, Heraath. Really great story.
“Right, so onto mine: A while back, while ol’ Truertos still led the Angels, I was sent on a mission to Zeltros to meet with some allies and informants, get a scope of the Imperial forces near the Inner Rim/Colonies border, and maybe try to find a rebel cell on the planet that could help us out. Now, I know what you’re thinking—how could I, Hes Chaddic, be alone, on the most sex-crazed planet in the galaxy, full of the most sex-crazed people in the galaxy, and come out feeling anything other than satisfied?
“Well, the short answer is The Empire™. From the day I touched down to the day I left, those bucketheads were on me wherever I went. I dunno if it was because I’m just that popular or they knew I was coming, but whatever the case, I had hardly a moment alone to myself. I couldn’t even stop to catch my breath half the time, let alone take in the planet’s ‘culture’.
“So yeah, before I knew it, my ride was there and I had to leave Zeltros behind. And even today, when I pass Zeltrons on the street, or hear any mention of their planet, I wonder: ‘will I ever have a second chance? Will I ever be so lucky again?’. So yeah, that sucked for me—but I helped out the Angels a bit, so I guess it wasn’t all bad”