#1 enoch

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

 And all the righteous will rejoice, and there will be forgiveness of sins, and every kind of mercy and peace and tolerance: There will be salvation for them, a splendid light. And for you sinners, there will be no salvation, but a curse will remain on you all. And for you, the godless, there will be a curse. But for the chosen, there will be light, joy, and peace, and they shall inherit the earth. And then wisdom will be granted to the chosen, and they will all live and never sin again, neither through ungodliness nor through pride; but those who are wise will be humble.

1 Enoch 5:7-10

[radial-symmetry-enjoyer]

Fuck, if human ass isn't divine, what is? It's not even hard to get, humans will just spread it open for you before you can even get through your explanation of how sinful this is and how you're not sure if you're gonna be able to fit.

In fact, most of them don't even care at all what God thinks about their sex lives anymore. Shit has really changed down here!

You hate to say it but, no part of heaven ever felt as good as cumming inside someone and cuddling up with them for the night still inserted. It's like they're MADE to be bred, you totally understand what Azazel was talking about all those years ago.

Nobody in Heaven has even noticed yet. You're getting a little nervous about that.

Not nervous enough to STOP, but... y'know.

[didanawisgi]

[radial-symmetry-enjoyer]

Angel (demon??) who just fell from heaven who's SO pissed because the reason is SO bullshit and they NEED to take this out on someone.

So while they're fucking you it's just

"Can you BELIEVE that He fucking hurled me down to hell because I TAUGHT SOMEONE ABOUT THE FUCKING CONSTELLATIONS????"

They're a lot bigger than you and you're sitting in their lap, their arms wrapped tightly around you while they bounce you in their lap and fuck up into you like you're a pocket pussy,

"AND THEN we send a guy to go give God our petition, and URIEL, THE BASTARD,"

They're getting close and their rhythm is getting more erratic,

"-fucking goes and teaches HIM about the GODDAMN CONSTELLATIONS and nooo, that's fine when HE does it-!"

[radial-symmetry-enjoyer]

Listen, angelface, pussy doesn't come free. Yeah yeah I know I get it, you want a wife. Yes. I understand.

But I'm not really into marriage. I'm also not a woman.

Oh no, no, that doesn't mean I'm not going to fuck your absolute brains out. I'm going to make you cum over and over and over again until you're begging ME for mercy. I'm going to ruin you for anyone else, you're gonna try and fuck another human and all you'll be thinking about is that night with ME.

I see you're hesitating. You think I'm fucking around? You see these scars? Yeah, no, not only am I asking a pretty low price, but I can't get pregnant either. That's right, consequence free. Nobody's ever gonna find out, you don't have to sign a pact or anything, you don't have to tie yourself to an ancient curse or whatever, all you gotta do is tell me your divine secrets and then you can cum inside me.

Unprotected, of course, and as many times as you want. I'm not a monster. I see that you're desperate.

I see your resolve breaking. It really has been a while for you, hasn't it? Poor thing. C'mon, I just wanna know how to make nervous tissue heal, spinal cords especially. Tell me how to do that, and we'll get started right away...

[radial-symmetry-enjoyer]

I went on a quest today and managed to get my hands on a copy of 1 Enoch for a few minutes.

Oh, you guys it was so much more than a little "cohabitation".

Remember when I said angels were horny? I mean HORNY horny. I mean "oh, please? Please, come on, just the tip babe, I'll teach you about astrology, I'll tell you my divine secrets, please???" horny.

I mean big, aggressive, predatory, man-eater horny.

[gaykarstaagforever]

Ten chapters of this. I have no idea what any of this means or why it matters. NO ONE does. I think I understand why 1st Enoch got dropped from all the Bibles except the Ge'ez one.

Like, good on them for preserving it. But OH MY GOD what are you guys getting out of this?

Like a guy who was making a numbered list of all the numbers until his mom made him stop would look at the Book of the Luminaries and go, "Dude, you are wasting a lot of time on this."

[ubuntu-village]

Angels are referred to as 'malakhi Elohim' (Angels of God) and 'malakhi Adonai' (Angels of the Lord) in the Hebrew Bible.

The Ancient Creation Story of Angels: From Before Humans Existed