Jun 15, 2025
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Day 93 / Weed Month Day 2
1 Sam. 25-27
25: Samuel fucking dies and only gets one verse After that David goes down to Paran, and he wants this one shepherd Nabal on his side For a few days, David&Co. had been with some of Nabal's men and they treated them extremely nicely David sends a few men to convince Nabal, but Nabal couldn't give two shits and sends them back David gets pissed and goes with an army to destory Nabal But one of Nabal's men tell his wife Abigail that David is actually super nice, but he will absolutely kill Nabal, so go to him first and appease him Abigail quickly prepares a huge men and then (without telling Nabal) goes on donkeys to meet with David's crew She gets on her knees and does the standard:
Praises God Praises David Hopes that he will one day be King Asks David to pardon Nabal, cause he really is a "Nabal"
So, eventually, David and everybody have a great feast at Nabal's and Nabal got extremely drunk, so he was fine with everything The next morning, when Nabal's sober, Abigail tells him everything and 10 days later, God strikes him down dead David, hearing that Nabal croaked, asks Abigail to be his wife (remember that Michal is also his wife) She becomes his wife along with Ahinoam of Jezreel
Saul gives Michal to Palti from Gallim
26: The Ziphites tell Saul that David is somewhere in Ziph again Saul, the batshit crazy king, goes to pursue him, doesn't find him and sets up camp near the hill of Hachilah David's spies tell him that Saul is definitely here, so he hatches a plan That night, he takes two of his men and sneaks into the camp They have the absolute perfect oppurtunity to kill Saul, cause Abner is off somewhere busting a nut But David can't kill Saul, so he just steals Saul's spear and water They go on top of the hill and then call to Abner and call him worthy to die because he left his king unguarded Saul wakes up and realizes it's David David asks "Y kil?" "O shit, u right, i have sinned, i will never do this again David me boy"
27: David comes up with a fucking genius idea on how to evade Saul To defect to the Philistines!!!! He goes to move in with Achish, with his band of merry men and his two wives Surprisingly, Saul leaves him alone David finds favor in Achish's eyes and so he gives him a city to live in, Ziklag, which now belongs to Judah David lived in Philistia for 16 months and he frequently raided Israel's enemies while telling Achish that he was raiding Israel Achish is buying all this bullshit and is starting to really like David the Traitor
great now there's a corona case in my town of less than ten thousand in the middle of fucking nowhere
"Therefore you are great, Yahweh God. For there is no one like you, neither is there any God besides you, according to all we have heard with our ears." 2 Samuel 7:22 WEB
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Acknowledging my honour and sweetest high-lineage, I stop smoothing over my well-deserved nuisance: Scoffing at the revolting; useless to this world, remaining in solved questions and harden…
FORCED WILL CHOSEN
Acknowledging my honour and sweetest high-lineage, I stop smoothing over my well-deserved nuisance: Scoffing at the revolting; useless to this world, remaining in solved questions and hardened ridd…
FORCED WILL CHOSEN