#10.4.16

[brianajungwirthinstagram]

Briana via her IG | October 4, 2016

[thestoryr]

Everest & Mariana Trench

I guess there was no start or finish. I don’t even know what does that mean. It all began where everything ended. I didn’t even knew what that meant. I wasn’t important. I felt insignificant. There were friends I had that didn’t even credit me, weren’t even proud of me, threw shade in my absence. But of course in time that weeded out. I just wanted to I don’t know....feel important, and to let the audience knew that I was.

I got desperate, I almost had to tell my friends jokingly “Say that I’m the best!” To certain friends it were definitely true. And friends became more receptive to that play-along. I like being credited to everyone, I like feeling centered. Because at one point, I felt like nothing....well there were many multiple points.

I loved Bboying, it felt like being a gladiator. Taking on someone in the ring and destroying them hearing the crowd go nuts. Then being talked about through the audience, rumors spread like wild fire..... “King Rewind, slain another man”

In time it all became petty I guess....but I hold the importance. And I wonder why. Why is it important to me? It shouldn’t be. Its just....for the world. Its for others. I guess my business is my business right? What does that even mean though....

It began where everything ended. I was in her arms, where it all began, it ended all in this room, lost memories, scrambling head hurting, feeling lost, praying to God, crying my eyes out, confused.... looking for warmth. But it began....in her arms. So warm, so gentle, I felt important. And that’s enough, that reminder is good enough for me. I could be important to one amazing person than a whole audience. She is the world, the world is more than a Colosseum, she is my audience, she can watch me dance for days and her voice will echo through time as my roaring crowd. I could showcase anything and she’ll be proud of me. She’ll gladly spread the tale to others and let me know of my importance. But what does that mean?

It means, I am safe within this feeling of lack of importance. But what does that mean? It’ll eventually end, where it all began. In her arms, the next day we are with each other, to end all the lack of importance and the importance of the pettiness I used to cling to.

Jzk, you’re the whole universe, this one and the many ones parallel if true.

[llylaa]

yikes

holy FUCK im lost as fuck im not ready for anything i just wanna stay in hoodies and sneakers and walk around and get drunk with good friends. not ready for more school, or for love or fucking raising a whole person im not trying to go anywhere yet, im comfy here whats wrong with that

[909nicole]

pink stuff

[greyhovnd-blog]

✨ sometimes it's nice to like what you see in the mirror✨

[futureplansforadumbkid-blog]

We live together now. Have for almost a month. I got a car yesterday. I'm an annoying little shit but I love him and I think he really loves me too because he says it all the time. I've been wrong in the past but I think we both enjoy each other far too much for it to be a lie. Every day I get closer and closer to figuring myself out, to figuring my life out. I'm an adult who pays rent and has a car again. I love my boyfriend. I can't wait to see where my life can go from here.

[urasuckah]

i think you and i are gonna get along juuust ok

[give-me-a-fucking-reason]

I really am so grateful to still have you in my life, Evan. And I'm also grateful for that fact that even if we don't end up together in the future, I will always have that bond with you, and you will always be my best friend. 😌 I love you, so much.