#1011pm

[ram1992ercado]

Hey you beautiful girl ! Never lose that smile. Okay ?! No matter how hard life hits you, please choose to smile. Life is not always been good but please remind yourself that you're just a human. You have weakness, you are vulnerable and sometimes you fall down but please stand still whatever happens.

[jeribunny]

LXXXI: I do not hate myself.

Yet another Friday night alone in this bare apartment. What a wonderful time to let all my thoughts free, with no distractions, no sounds, just pure tranquility at this moment. I still have a long ways to go. Reading back at my old posts, I sound repetitive which means that I have not surpassed the point from which I started being repetitive. I honestly feel like my life is going nowhere. I sound like an extreme pessimist and I hate myself for it. I still feel like there are things hazing my vision and I’m surrendering to it. I still feel like my past haunts me. I still feel like a helpless kid. I don’t want to feel that way but I do and it disgusts me. I know it sounds extremely absurd but my heart still receives attacks from the first person I ever truly loved. It’s childish and just plain… absurd. Is it weird of me to think that someway, somehow he and I will have that same bond we shared in the past? I swear, my heart is too weak. I try to have this cold-hearted state of mind but it gets difficult when people or events from the past haunt me. I’m too weak, I need to build tolerance. Actually, if I was too weak I’d probably be at my very last burst of energy by now. It just feels like day after day, week after week, a little part of me crumbles away and takes away from my energy. I definitely sound like a pessimist now. I mean, okay honestly speaking. Look at me. I have no friends. Because some people are just too malicious for me and because I’m just too careless about others. I do blame myself for not being able to even hold a friendship but at the same time I do acknowledge that some people are just not good for me no matter how many friends they share. Also… Wait. I’ll stop here, I’m sounding like I truly hate myself which I don’t. I know deep down inside I have a fiery ambition to become rich and successful and everything I want to be. God I sound like I’m bi-polar, maybe I am I don’t know. Or maybe I just don’t truly know myself yet. I don’t feel defeated in any way, though I know I’ve suffered some losses. I just need to continue becoming a better me. I don’t know how I’ll get there, but I know that I’ll get there.

[kawaiihoneybearbunny-blog]

XXXI: I do not hate myself.

Yet another Friday night alone in this bare apartment. What a wonderful time to let all my thoughts free, with no distractions, no sounds, just pure tranquility at this moment.

I still have a long ways to go. Reading back at my old posts, I sound repetitive which means that I have not surpassed the point from which I started being repetitive. I honestly feel like my life is going nowhere. I sound like an extreme pessimist and I hate myself for it. I still feel like there are things hazing my vision and I'm surrendering to it. I still feel like my past haunts me. I still feel like a helpless kid. I don't want to feel that way but I do and it disgusts me. I know it sounds extremely absurd but my heart still receives attacks from the first person I ever truly loved. It's childish and just plain... absurd. Is it weird of me to think that someway, somehow he and I will have that same bond we shared in the past? I swear, my heart is too weak. I try to have this cold-hearted state of mind but it gets difficult when people or events from the past haunt me. I'm too weak, I need to build tolerance. Actually, if I was too weak I'd probably be at my very last burst of energy by now. It just feels like day after day, week after week, a little part of me crumbles away and takes away from my energy. I definitely sound like a pessimist now. I mean, okay honestly speaking. Look at me. I have no friends. Because some people are just too malicious for me and because I'm just too careless about others. I do blame myself for not being able to even hold a friendship but at the same time I do acknowledge that some people are just not good for me no matter how many friends they share. Also... Wait. I'll stop here, I'm sounding like I truly hate myself which I don't.

I know deep down inside I have a fiery ambition to become rich and successful and everything I want to be. God I sound like I'm bi-polar, maybe I am I don't know. Or maybe I just don't truly know myself yet. I don't feel defeated in any way, though I know I've suffered some losses. I just need to continue becoming a better me. I don't know how I'll get there, but I know that I'll get there.