#020714

[the5sosarchive]

Luke and Michael with fans at a Mayday Parade show — Feb. 7th, 2014

[the5sosarchive]

Calum and Ashton with fans at a Mayday Parade show — Feb. 7th, 2014

[the5sosarchive]

5SOS posted on Twitter — Feb. 7th, 2014

[triiisha]

Today marks three years since we ran off to the courthouse!❤ 020714

[nojemmyproteste]

July 2nd ‘14

[jeribunny]

LXXXI: I do not hate myself.

Yet another Friday night alone in this bare apartment. What a wonderful time to let all my thoughts free, with no distractions, no sounds, just pure tranquility at this moment. I still have a long ways to go. Reading back at my old posts, I sound repetitive which means that I have not surpassed the point from which I started being repetitive. I honestly feel like my life is going nowhere. I sound like an extreme pessimist and I hate myself for it. I still feel like there are things hazing my vision and I’m surrendering to it. I still feel like my past haunts me. I still feel like a helpless kid. I don’t want to feel that way but I do and it disgusts me. I know it sounds extremely absurd but my heart still receives attacks from the first person I ever truly loved. It’s childish and just plain… absurd. Is it weird of me to think that someway, somehow he and I will have that same bond we shared in the past? I swear, my heart is too weak. I try to have this cold-hearted state of mind but it gets difficult when people or events from the past haunt me. I’m too weak, I need to build tolerance. Actually, if I was too weak I’d probably be at my very last burst of energy by now. It just feels like day after day, week after week, a little part of me crumbles away and takes away from my energy. I definitely sound like a pessimist now. I mean, okay honestly speaking. Look at me. I have no friends. Because some people are just too malicious for me and because I’m just too careless about others. I do blame myself for not being able to even hold a friendship but at the same time I do acknowledge that some people are just not good for me no matter how many friends they share. Also… Wait. I’ll stop here, I’m sounding like I truly hate myself which I don’t. I know deep down inside I have a fiery ambition to become rich and successful and everything I want to be. God I sound like I’m bi-polar, maybe I am I don’t know. Or maybe I just don’t truly know myself yet. I don’t feel defeated in any way, though I know I’ve suffered some losses. I just need to continue becoming a better me. I don’t know how I’ll get there, but I know that I’ll get there.

[ashleysuxx]

Happy anniversary to the love of my life! Today marks one year that you asked me to be your girlfriend & made me the happiest girl in the world! We've been through so much this past year, and I look forward to many more years together! I love you baby cakes! 😘😘 #020714 #anniversary #loml

[eivantriestospeak]

I rode a bus going home, sitting on the left side of the vehicle where the three-seaters were. I was at the very left, which makes me being beside the window. The bus was not that full yet, but it was starting to. The other seats on the other rows were occupied by at least two to three people, while mine and a few others were only occupied by one person. I didn't really care, I liked it when I sat beside no one. Nevertheless, it still made me think why they didn't want to sit beside me given that the seats were screaming that they were available to be sat on. 

Approximately 20 minutes passed before a couple sat next to me. Although I didn't know them, I liked the fact that at least someone sat next to me so that it would decrease the level of cold wind the aircon above me was letting off. Travel time was at least an hour, so I still got 40 minutes to be trapped by two strangers.

So I had nothing to do but to look outside. I looked at unfamiliar faces darting about the streets, having their own businesses and whatnot. Here in Manila, that's something normal. I got used to seeing large numbers of people every single day. The bus was still under the LRT railway, so nothing was really to see but establishments and civilians. 

By the time that we were out in the open, I got relieved. The weather was nice. It wasn't hot at 4:45 PM. There was no sun coming out from the buildings, so it felt really cold. I decided to look up, then. The sky looked nice. It was a color of blue shaded with lightness and care. Far beyond the skies, the sun was preparing to set. It's orange touch blended in with the sky, creating a majestic view. It looked amazing. It was funny how up and above it was all peace and sanity, while down below mobility and words made chaos. I was just sitting there staring at the sky, wishing that I could lay down in silence somewhere far from the city and just embrace the wholeness of the world around me. Looking up and above while I was down below, I realized that even if everything around me was fast and busy, it was and would always be possible to find things that could make me sane and be relieved from the horrors of this world.

I snapped out of my daydreaming and found out that we were having a turn somewhere. It was part of the daily routine, so I knew where we were. 25 minutes more. The temperature plus the soothing sight of the sky made my eyes close a bit. I guessed I could use a few minutes to rest.