#112212

[annaleonhardt]

Damn, 1 year ago 

(:

[annaleonhardt]

October282013 -Day 1

first off let me start off with im proud of myself for being strong enough to want help and for giving my baby my pipe to break with crystal still in it. But today is day one again and I can do this.

[annaleonhardt]

So....

I'm having a really hard time keeping clean. I'm still sober but fuck. Its hard as shit. I found a baggie in my room with a little powder and I gave it to my boyfriend and he threw it out.  Hopefully I don't find any more because that's the third one I've found that I didn't even remember having! Ugh sometimes I just get weak and want to use but I know what it'll turn me in to and I know Bryan would leave me.. addictions suck. I wish I never would have tried it then this craving wouldn't follow me where ever I go. Anyway something else that's bothering me is I think I might relapse on my eating disorder too. Ugh that's one thing I sure miss alot about using. I'd smoke and not eat for days even weeks and I'd lose so much weight. Now I'm gaining this recovery weight and I hate it. I'm gross and fat and flabby and I hate my body. I see all these girls and it makes me want to throw up this soup I just ate. Ugh. I haven't told Bryan that I'm having trouble with my eating again because I don't want to stress him out but Idk what to do. Its so hard being strong.

[annaleonhardt]

Is it too much to ask..I just want someone to take me away on a drive to a place I dont know.. so we can just laugh and talk and lay in the grass in the sun and buy icecream after. I wish I had a friend.

[annaleonhardt]

The best things are the little ones

The times you hold me and just tell me I'm beautiful. When I'm angry, and you just turn around grab me and kiss me. The way you tell me that you've never felt this way before. The way you love the things I hate about myself.The way we make love, Oh Bryan I love everything about you. I've never been so happy with anyone else. You're my little angel. Yesterday was our 10 months and we're still crazy about each other. <3 I love you baby I love you so much. I'm glad you're my fiancee. (:

[zabrianna-blog]

Keep it Simple.

I'd rather wear band t's than get dressed up, 

rather keep my hair in a messy bun instead of straightening it,

rather just wake up, than have to spend time doing makeup,

rather go for a walk than spend hours trying to find something interesting to do,

rather eat a TV dinner than go out to a crazy fancy restaurant,

rather be simple, have life less complicated than to be worrying about all the extra things there is to do in this place we call life nowadays.

I wish I hadn't bugged about all the unnecessary things when you were around. It's the simple things that matter. Now, I would do anything to have that life.

112212.

[19960716]

Survey // 112212

1: The last person you kissed screams they love you, you say... I haven't kissed anyone thoughhh.

2: Did you get to sleep in today? Yeah :)

3: You never know what you got until you lose it? Yeah basically.

4: Do you have siblings? One.

5: How many kids do you want? Atleast two.

6: Who was the last person you held hands with? Darrion LOL awww I know I know :')

7: Did you stand on your tippy-toes for your last kiss? I... LOL.... WELL

8: Do you think if you died, the last person you kissed would care? ...

9: Last person to talk on the phone? Brother.

10: Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone? ...

11: When’s your birthday? July 16th :)

12: Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? SURE.

13: What kind of phone do you have? Galaxy S3

14: Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? Skirt.

15: Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago? A lot different. 

16: What were you doing at 4 am? Sleeping. :)

17: Would you rather write a paper or give a speech? Write a paper. 

18: Are you lying to yourself about something? How do you even do that?

19: Last night you felt…? Reminiscent.

20: What’s something you cannot wait for? Christmas break.

21: Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but went somewhere different? Um not really.

22: How many hours of sleep did you get last night? 11 hours?

23: Are you a morning or night person? Night!

24: What did you get your last bruise from? Hitting myself with my school laptop on accident LOL

25: Do you reply to all of your texts? I'm really bad at texting actually.. HAHA I try. :'(

26: Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Obviously pick up the phone. 

27: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? sigh sigh sigh

28: Anyone you would like to get things straight with? Not worth it anymore I guess.

29: How many months until your birthday? 8 months.

30: Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Bread? LOL

31: Did you like this past summer? A lot. :(

32: What were you doing before you got on the computer? Texting.

33: Your ex is sitting next to you, with their new partner. What do you do? I say hi and I leave to avoid awkwardness LOL

34: What is the last thing you said out loud? "Hold on"

35: Your mood summed into one word? Frustrated.

36: Are you doing anything else besides taking this survey? Breathing?

37: What are your initials? J.M.

38: Are you a happy person? Most of the time.

39: Do you still talk to the person you liked 4 months ago? I didn't like anyone 4 months ago.

40: Where do you want to live when your older? I don't know yet.

41: Have you had your birthday this year? Yup.

42: What did you do yesterday? got my nails done, went to kroger, then thanksgiving potluck :)

43: What will you be doing tomorrow? i have no idea yet. ): 

44: How late did you stay up last night? Between 1 and 2am.

45: Is there anyone you would do anything for? Not necessarily anything.

46: Is it hard to make you laugh? Not at all..

47: Do you believe ex’s can be just friends? Of course. 

48: Do you think any of your exes will eventually want to be with you again? I knew of one. Lol.. Idk about now.

49: How many people have you had feelings for in the year of 2012? 3 if you count Myungsoo as one LOL 

50: Do you wish your ex was dead? No, never.

51: Have you ever dyed your hair?  mmhmm.

52: Would you ever take back someone that cheated? Nope.

53: Was New Year’s Eve enjoyable? Uh I don't remember what I did.

54: Bet you’re missing someone right now? Not really.

55: How would your parents react if you got a tattoo? "WHY"

56: Sleep on your back or stomach? Both.

57: If you could move away, no questions asked, where would it be? Korea tbh LOL JK I WOULD NOT SURVIVE okay so California. Or New York.

58: What would you change about your life right now? For Myungsoo to be my eternal lover. HAHAHA

59: Has anything upset you in the past week? Yeah.

60: Are you on the phone? Not right now.

61: Today, would you rather go forward a week or back? Backward?

62: Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car? 40,000. 

63: Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? Yeah.

64: Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? Sucks but yeah I have.

65: Have you ever copied someone elses homework? Yeah, someone call the cops.

66: Are you the type of person who likes to be out or at home? Out. 

67: Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? Yup. 

68: Have you ever stayed up all night on the phone? Yeah, fun times. 

69: Could you use some sleep right now? Yeah..

70: Are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18? Nope. 

71: Does it bother you when someone hides things from you? Yeah it does..

72: What’s your favorite color? Light pink.

73: Have you ever slept in the same room with someone you liked? I don't think so.

74: Have you ever been looking for something and it was already in your hand? Yeah, plenty of times LOL.

75: Do you get annoyed easily? Not really.

76: If someone liked you, would you want them to tell you? Yeah, of course.

77: Do you have a person of the opposite sex that you can tell everything to? Not everything.. but most things.

78: Does anyone call you babe? Yes and I'm just like stahp.

79: How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? None?

80: What do you prefer, relationship or one night stand? Relationship. What kind of question is this LOL

81: What color hoodie did you wear last? Black. 

82: Is there someone who meant alot to you at one point, and isn’t around anymore? Yeah. Sigh.