Apr 18, 2021
April 12, 2021 - Day 297
Had a picnic with a friend!
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April 12, 2021 - Day 297
Had a picnic with a friend!
SOBER DESPITE SUBSTANCE
Date: 12 April 2021
Duration: 53 minutes at 11:04 PM
Depth:
Written entirely in the morning after the session. Here goes.
I was disappointed with me when I stopped meditating at 53 minutes. In fact, last night’s meditation is the kind that makes for a classic example of how not to meditate. And that’s why I didn’t write a word immediately after the session.
I spoke to a family member while meditating. I requested a favour while I spoke and I made that request because I was sure to forget all about it if I dived into the depths of meditation that I am capable of. I hadn’t made the effort to dive already, when I spoke. And I hadn’t made that effort because I had to hold the thought of an unlocked door 🚪!
The door secure but left without the habitual lock came about as a result of two hugely unusual events from earlier in the evening. One of the two events was me preparing pizza bread, sauce and the assembled pizza from scratch, starting 7:15 PM. By 9:15 PM, the first pizza was served. However, it wasn’t something I was expecting to happen on time. Minor stress on the job but accompanied with a serious loss of quality while meditating. Paramahansa Yogananda wouldn’t want anyone to meditate like this.
The good news is that spiritual growth is irreversible. You can’t quite regress on this path. One can’t take away something that God Almighty has graced you with. The Bhagwad Gita says so. Everything material will go (from the individual), everything spiritual will stay forever. Also, that I did meditate is good news. I didn’t lose a night just because I had other things on my mind.
The bad news is that a night like last night is evidence that I don’t have the much aspired for Hindu equanimity of mind. Equanimity, as I understand, is when one consciously grows spiritually while performing light and heavy duties. I grew as a cook last evening but not as a meditator. Flavours of life not balanced. Not ok.