#12.6.2018

[juckt-mich-einfach-nicht]

Ich gebe mir nicht mehr die schuld für das Verhalten dummer Menschen.

Me.

[shu-rooq]

"على نار الشوق أنا هستنى واصبّر قلبي واتمنى، على بال ما تجيني واتهنى"

[dearwidevoid]

If That Ain’t Love

Your opinion means the most to me I think your taste is delectable

I hear about your interests with glee To me you are impeccable

I’d be your friend without a doubt It’d be a privilege I’d have to shout

Dreaming about you again My heart you seem to reign

I don’t mean to offend I simply cannot comprehend

Why is there no obvious line To someone so absolutely divine?

I think about you in broken parts And so my courage dies before it starts

But you are the one and only in my eyes

[ignis-et-equi]

Nope. I'm definitely not waiting up for a message from an Irishman. That would be what a thirsty bitch would do.

Oh hell.

Who am I kidding?

I am a thirsty bitch.

A thirsty bitch for being called "petal" by someone with one of the sexiest accents on planet Earth!

[introxpection]

Broken.

[ignis-et-equi]

Irish guy went to bed and then woke up and texted me and now I think he’s on his way to work somewhere in Estonia. I wanna sleep so I have more time to talk to him when we’re both awake, but I wired. I think he might call me later? It’s 2am.... Ugh. But yay!

[godsnameisjoy]

12 June 2018

45 minutes at bedtime

That vacation with my family towards the end of May this year, has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. For nearly a 10 day time period, I didn’t meditate in May. All of the meditation that I have done so far in June has been an attempt to return to the good habit. Strangely, I seem to be facing no rebellion from my mind in increasing the session duration each passing night.

Since I have come back from that vacation, I have gone from a 5 minute session to a 45 minute session without any loss of concentration. And it’s just the 12th of June ! That’s a blessing, if you ask me. That I haven’t slipped back into the struggle with the subconscious, is good news.

Last night, I gently held the god-thought throughout the session. Not forcefully, mind you. Applying ambitious force tends to burn the mind out. It takes away the calmness that you have worked so hard for, with every breath that you have paid attention to. Force is a negative approach to meditation. Doesn’t work, on the long run. And one wants meditation duration to become longer each passing day.

Gently holding the god-thought helps with duration and concentration. The most amazing thing about the God-thought is that it goes all the way to who you really are. So even if you were to burn up your imagination powers by assuming a God with a beard sitting over a cloud, you would realise sooner or later that the use of imagination can be rested a little. So on and so forth until you are really digging into the depths of your mind.

The images come and go at a slower pace in the depths. This is where you are calmer than all your dreaming and waking mind. This mind space has to be discovered with diligent calming exercises like meditation. God bless us with quality meditation 🧘‍♀️ !