I was about to sleep but then I saw a black man-like figure who wears a dark colored scarf that covers his face, he immersed himself onto the dark side of the room. I didn't understand what was happening so I bravely went near him, but then it muttered several words, I tried to understand a few but I couldn’t. I was trying to identify on who the figure was
“Who are you?” I spoke nervously.
It murmured a lot of words but the only thing I heard and understood was “Cianne”. It said a name called “Cianne”. He swinged his arms like a wand and showed me a portal like mirror, a transparent mirror that vapors and glows itself. There, I saw a lady who has the same figure as mine. My eyes expanded as my heart beats fast, I confusingly looked at the strange man
“Who is she?” I asked, but he disregarded my question.
I once again looked at the lady, she looks bright and seems bubbly and yet, the image he was showing me slowly distorted, her emotions seemed like a horror, it is an image in which the lady who used to shine and flower her existence to everyone turned into a dull-dreary leaves
“Isn’t it true? that I have to sacrifice myself in order for you to live and see another day?” she looks at the mirror while beads on her eyes slowly drips towards her cheeks, she glanced at her left wrist that holds a piece of knife “However, I plan to leave the largest and most beautiful footprint I am capable of. If that is the only thing that saves you from the storm, then I have to –”
*CLING CLING! CLING CLING! *
My phone rang, teardrops of sweat formed into my forehead as I wake up. It didn’t feel like a dream. “Woah what was that?” I confusingly said. I stood up my bed and immediately went into my bathroom. I looked at my neck to check how much time I have left. I exactly have 45 years and 6 months.
“Ugh, my head hurts why is that dream seemed so vivid and real?” I frowned as I wash my face, brush my teeth, and take a bath. I was thinking about that dream the whole time.
“Kia! you are going to be late at school. Are you ready?” mom said.
” Yes! I’m about to go down mom.” I replied.
Before I head out my room, I checked myself if my outfit is good. I am wearing a plain white turtleneck top partnered with black scarf, jet-black jacket, black jeans, and a pair of dark boots to keep me warm during the winter. I fixed my hair with a messy bun to complete the look.
“You are wearing the same color again sweetheart? Mom commented
“Mom, it looks good to me” I confidently replied.
I hugged my mom before I leave our house. I saw the time she has left at her right neck, 15 years and 12 months. Hmm by the time I’m thirty-two she would be… ugh I don’t want to say it. I didn’t really like the ability I have, I tried to explain to my mom during my younger days that I know when people are going to die, but she just laughed at me because she didn’t believe me. I tried to let her know that a few times, but then I realized that I was the only one who could understand, cause for them, I am a child with a lot of imaginations. As soon as I head out, I saw my dad removing the fluffy snows out of the car window with a snow brush and plastic bristles followed by a light ice scraper off the vehicles’ roof.
“Hey dad!” I ran excitedly ran towards him and smiled.
“You ready for school sweetheart? Get in. I’ll take you there today” he said.
I got inside our Bugatti La Voiture Noire car, the most expensive car in the world. They were all computer-controlled and electronically driven, with enough energy to ride for an entire day in just one hour of sunshine. The machine had prepared and pre-programmed all of your activities for the coming year. Well, you can choose either you drive the car, or let the car drive you. Whatever command you have, the car will follow it.
“What plans do you have today, Kia?” dad asked.
“Hmm maybe after class, I’ll be finishing the book you gave me last month, It’s so interesting. It gave me a lot of life lessons. One quote struck me it says “you can have a bittersweet feeling between pride and sorrow. Pride because you are so far from where you used to be and sorrow, because you can’t believe you had to go through that at such a young age.” I replied.
"That's wonderful! I'm glad that you're using your time to read, sweetheart” he said.
I smiled at him. He's my whole life. He's the reason why I live today. He's my strength, my lifeline. I love him dearly. As a child, he used to carry me around face forward since I enjoyed gazing around and I used to play sports with my father. He didn't cut me any slack, and when I returned after cycling, roller skating, or skiing with him, I was typically half-dead. That's a sweet memory to have. It was a good time.
The clock read at 7:30 AM in the morning, I met his gaze, my smile faded. I saw the minutes left before his death and my heart doubled in beat. No... It can't be.
My dad held his chest and gasped.
“Are you okay dad?” I asked
“No, I am fine”, he smiled. “It happened before, it will pass don’t worry”
My dad held my hand to reassure me that he is fine, but for me
“What’s happened before?” I asked
"I'm having this sensation. I'm not in discomfort, but I feel a lot of pressure. Then it disappears." He explained.
“Dad?!”, I say. “That sounds like a heart attack. Should we go straight to the hospital? I will skip school”
He looked at me like I had lost my mind.
“No, I’m fine”, he says. “I feel the pressure in my neck is increasing. Isn't it true that heart attacks cause arm pain? My arm is not in any discomfort.”
Tears started to fall down onto my cheeks. I tell him clearly that there is no other option but to go to the doctor. Now. Now is the time.
“Please. Dad...” I worriedly said.
I saw my dad’s right neck, he had 25 minutes left. I was too stunned to speak as I am shocked by the idea that the person I loved the most, the father who taught me how to see the problems and issues with no self-deception, the father who taught me to acknowledge the fear and still make the right choices, the father who taught me how to own my mistakes and errors and using them to make myself a better person. He shaped me into a self-sufficient lady worthy of any radical feminist's admiration. The enjoyment and treasuring moments we have will slowly turn into a memory.
It took me about 5 minutes to persuade him. We got into the Emergency Room and they run tests. The verdict comes in 20 minutes later. He was rushed into a room. The doctor was trying to revive him. The next minute, the doctor came out with a blank face. “No, it can’t be...” I had my face flushed, and my breathing becomes faster. I froze and tremble beside the wall as I heard the doctor say.
I started to cry, my heart is racing, and my head is buzzing, the two are as panicked as jump-leads. Only now does my brain feel like a dead battery, and the night's activities have been a marathon of inconsistent problem solving. So, this day won’t pass like I'm hungover, not from alcohol, but from the trauma that this ability to foresee my dad’s death terrifies me.
“Aivon wait! You small hooman, why didn’t you message me that you got off work” Ash ran towards me.
“Oh, I thought you were busy so I didn’t bother to call you “I smiled as I look in his face
“How many times do I have to tell you that you won’t ever bother me?” he said calmly
I met a lot of people in my life but I only trust Ashton Gray, my best friend. Ever since my father died, he accompanied me all throughout my pain. He is a football player during my senior years. I remember while he is in his training, I read books at the bench waiting for him. We always go home at the same time since our houses are only one block away. He has brown hair, green eyes, and is 6 feet tall. Upon his morals, he is a man with strong determination, full of empathy, and a loving soul. I like the way he is. He had the kind of expression on his face that made you stop in your tracks. I suppose he's become accustomed to people's natural expressions pausing when they look his way, then compensating with a careless glance and a feeble smile. The blush that followed it was, of course, a dead giveaway. It didn't help that he was so modest about it, it only added to the girls' attraction to him. He was a one-woman-man who valued authenticity and serious dialogue over lipstick and high heels despite all the opportunities that came his way. He was attractive on the outside, but he was stunning on the inside.
“I’m about to head home. You?” I asked
“I’ll drive you home” he said
I went inside his black car and I sat on the front seat. I put my seatbelt on same as his. He asked me to play a music while he was driving so, I played our favorite song. I laughed when we both sing the lyrics when the chorus of the song came.
* In between four nights
I spent whole lives to reach a note
But now
I can't stop dreaming about your love
But its alright, yeah its alright*
The song was about to end, we looked at each other smiling. “I’ll never forget about this song “he smiled.
The atmosphere changed, Ashton stopped the car for a while. He looked at me and said something
“Aivon, I want to tell you something… I like you… for a long time”
Fifteen minutes has passed and our conversations became serious in a way. I told him I accept his feelings. We both smiled.
We are now at the front of my house. I saw my mom sitting at the tabletop outside our house.
He smiled back and hugged me tight “ugh don’t even bother hahaha. I’ll see you on Monday.” I saw the time he has in his neck, its 15 years and 6 months
“Okay, drive safe please. Let me know when you’re home”
I came out the car and waited for him to drive out. I saw my mom looking at me so I went to her and hugged her tight. I still do live with my parent. I want it that way. Losing my father was too hard to swallow, I chose to live with my mom
“My sweetie!” she hugged my tight. Feeling the warmth of my mom is so calming makes me remember the good old days.
“Did you eat dinner already?” she asked
“Oh, okay I’ll cook for you. What do you want?”
“Let’s just cook together mom, maybe some pasta?” I suggested
“Okay whatever you want sweetie.” She giggled and smiled.
It’s the next day and I don’t have work since it’s a Sunday. I didn’t have anything to do so I just cleaned our house to kill the time. I checked the remaining years I have and its 40 years and 2 months. I went to the attic to dust out the space. I saw the books that my dad used to have. I even saw my favorite author, Looke Maight. His self-help books changed the way I think. He is one of the authors that saved me into accepting when you lost someone. While fixing the books, I found one specific book that looks new to me, I opened it and there I realized that its my father’s diary. As soon as I looked into it, I saw an envelope that indicates my name “to my daughter Kioa. Open this when I am dead” it says. My eyes got bigger as I saw my name on the letter
First and foremost. I want you to know that I love you whatever death turns out to be, I refuse to believe that it will signal the end of my love for you. You must be in pain right now. I understand how difficult it is to lose someone you care about. I wish I could make things easier for you, but that's what love does to you, it exposes you. When someone you care about passes away, you lose a piece of yourself. The difficult aspect is that you simply have to get through it.
The good news is that you are more powerful than you realize. I have no doubt in my mind that you will be ok. Not right away, perhaps not for a while, but believe me when I say you will. Don't be embarrassed to share your emotions with a good friend, they are frequently the ones that make life worth living, even in the toughest of days.
Don't be afraid to accept your ignorance. Being vulnerable is frequently your point of contact with what is most valuable in life. Try to put your trust in the people, life, and yourself. Make time for the things that bring you joy. Also, keep in mind that I continue to live on in you.
There is something I want you to know, regarding the abilities you have. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away. You have a sister Kioa. She is in China with your grandparents. Your Mom and I refused to take care of you both since your sister is sick and you were the healthy one. We didn’t have the money to support your sister that is why we chose to take care of you sweetie…” suddenly my heartbeat increased. I couldn’t bear to believe what he had said. I can’t continue to read as the information given was too shocking for me. Wet droplets from my eyes started to fall down. The sun’s blazing heat touched my skin. The atmosphere’s is in between a hundred degrees but why does it feel like I’m in a snowy mountain filled with snowflakes? I decided to regain my strength as I continue to read
“I bet you found this letter a little later. I want you to find your sister in Guangzhou, China. Your grandparents may have known something about the ability you have. I wish I told you this sooner. I hope the questions you kept to yourself would soon be filled with contentment. I’m sorry I pretended that I didn’t know the ability you have. We thought being ignorant about what you have will protect you. I assumed it didn’t…
Thank you for making my life so complete, honest, and lovely, my child. There's so much I want to say that no words will ever be able to express how I feel. I hope that over the years we've spent together, I've been able to express how incredible you are.
You brought me more joy than I could have imagined.
I always love you sweetheart
The way I breathe seemed deeper. I couldn’t believe what I just read, I can’t believe that they knew all along, they just pretended that they didn’t know. “sigh”
I woke up the next day, I was contemplating about telling my mom that I found out about the letter that dad wrote. “I should tell her about it later, after work” I said while preparing. I wore a white polo dress with a matching black blazer. I skipped breakfast since Ash told me that we are going to grab some coffee before heading to work. Mom was preparing breakfast so I just told her to that I’ll be taking some to work.
“Hey! I’m here.” He texted
“oh okay! I’m heading out” I texted back
I hugged my mom tight before I leave the house” Bye Mom! See you later, love ya!” I waved goodbye and rushed out.
“halooooooo ASHTON!!” I shouted
“get it now, or else we’ll be late” he said.
I rushed in and put my seatbelt on, we went to grab some coffee at Tim Hortons before going to work. I’m a psychologist and he is an Engineer.
“What are your plans after taking 2-year work experience?” he asked
“I recently looked for a building since I am planning to open my own place in Montreal, Canada. But, for now I’m going to save up” I explained “but I think I’ll be postponing those for a while, I have to go to my grandparents in China.” I continued
He looked at me “all of a sudden? Going to China? Why?”
I explained everything I knew to Ashton, he seemed confused but he listened. He wanted to go with me to China but I said he doesn’t have to.
“I want to do things on my own just this once Ash” I sadly smiled.
He immediately understood what I wanted so he didn’t bother to ask other questions. He just said that “just call me when you need my help, I’ll be there. You know I always will” my heart fluttered as soon as he said that. I suddenly held him tight to thank him. But then I saw he only has 2 years to live. I was stunned, I got scared. My heart beat increased as I couldn’t accept the time he has. Last time it was 15 years but why is it suddenly 2?
That’s when I knew that I have to go to China. I’m not losing a person I cherish the most again.
Ashton again, took me home. I immediately went straight to my mom and asked if I could talk to her. She said yes
“Mom, I found out about the letter. Why didn’t you tell me that you knew all along?” I calmly asked
“We wanted to protect you from it, but I guess it was a bad choice. Since you know about it. What is your plan?” she asked
“I’m planning to go see my grandparents in China, I want you to come with me, Mom” I replied
We continued to talk it out until 2 am in the morning, we both got emotional and cried it out all night long. We planned things out and booked out flight. I told Ashton about it and made him updated that I’ll be in China for a month or two. I did what I had to do with work. I asked my Boss that I’ll be resigning since I’ll be not working for awhile but he didn’t let me. Instead, he let me take a break from work and come back after 2 months.
2 weeks has passed and we flew to China. We looked and looked for weeks. Luckily my Mom has a copy of my Grandparent’s address that’s why it became easier for us to find them.
“ Nǎinai?” which means grandma in Chinese
She looked at me looking confused but as soon as she saw my mother, she immediately knew who I was. My mom says that my grandma could speak in English. So, we didn’t have a hard time communicating to each other.
“Finally, you came!” grandma said
I was just quiet as my grandma approach me. I had the intuition that they were waiting for me to come for a long time, It felt like everything was planned. As I was walking inside my grandma’s place. I saw a woman who looked like the lady that I saw from my dream years ago.
“Cianne!” grandma called the girl
Cianne? Where did I hear those, I remember that name… Oh from the dream! The dream I had before!
“Who is she?” I confusingly asked
“She is your sister” grandpa said
I zoned out for a bit as I got scared. I remembered the dream I had five years ago. I don’t know why I seem to remember those. And I think… It meant something.
We continued to catch up for a while. Talked about stories I have to know and then for a minute the atmosphere became serious as I opened one specific question.
“Why do I have this ability? The ability to foresee death?” I asked
My mom, grandparents, and sister looked at me. They seemed like they knew all along, That I was the only person who didn’t know anything about it.
“I think it’s time for her to know” Grandpa said
“What do I have to know? Is there any chance that I could extend someone’s life?” I asked seriously.
“Your ability was given the moment you were born, our ancestors are the only people who knew on what caused it. As much as we want to explain to you what was the root cause. But we don’t know. Some say it’s a curse, some say it’s a blessing. The only thing I know on how to break everyone’s power is a sacrifice. You are the chosen one to break the spell. Regarding that extending someone’s life. You have to die in order for someone to live. It is up to you now to choose”
My eyes teared by the information given to me, I couldn’t accept it. I became emotional. I was too shocked at everything. I am overwhelmed.
“Isn’t it true? that I have to sacrifice myself in order for you to live and see another day?” I looked at my family while wet beads on my eyes slowly drips towards my cheeks, I glanced at the mirror and get whatever hard thing that is Infront of me and broke the glass.
“However, I plan to leave the largest and most beautiful footprint I am capable of. If that is the only thing that saves you all from the storm, then I have to perhaps… leave and vanish” my voice crumbled as I said those words.
Everyone is now crying, there is a sort of broken heart that is aching. I am thinking on the brighter side. They told me to take all the time I need. Months and weeks has passed. During those days I wrote a letter to Ashton Gray to say goodbye. I said what’s been on my mind and heart.
If you're reading this, you already know I'm not returning home in Canada. I sincerely hope that this letter never reaches you, because if it does, it means that I am no longer alive. It also means I never had the opportunity to express how much I loved you.
I'm up in the stars now, keeping an eye on you to make sure you're safe. I had the privilege of getting to know you, experiencing love on multiple levels, and meeting great people, including you. You've demonstrated what love is and how it feels to be treasured. I could feel it every time you hugged me so tight. You're the person I know I could go to for help - you're the person I turned to when I needed a smile and the person I hugged when I needed an embrace. You have shown me how to be truly happy and contented. You were the first person who made me smile during the times of grief because of my dad. You were the man of my dreams and the love of my life. Just because I've died doesn't mean I'm not with you. I'll always be there to keep an eye on you and keep you secure
So, whenever you're feeling lonely, keep your eyes closed and I'll be right with you.
I may not be the lady who walks with you, but I hope you find the person who loves you for YOU.
And that marked the end of the beginning.
Kioa chose to be the sacrifice in order to break the spell. Her family no longer foresee death. Ashton now has more years to live.
