#140424

[gyucentral]

[aashiquidreams]

It’s been on my mind lately how men seem to be more infatuated with the idea of me rather than who I truly am. They’re enamored with the fantasy they’ve built around me. But it struck me – am I guilty of the same thing? Whenever I develop feelings for someone, I find myself drawn to the idea of them, crafting an image in my mind that doesn’t always align with reality. In my imagination, they can be anything I want them to be. Yet, once I truly get to know them, I often find myself disappointed and losing interest. What does this say about me?

This self reflection has led me to wonder why I behave this way. Perhaps I yearn for perfection or shy away from vulnerability, leading me to create idealized versions of men. These fantasies might serve as an escape from reality or a way to fulfill unmet desires. Furthermore, idealization can build emotional walls, obstructing the path to authentic intimacy.

In my journey of self-reflection, I’ve also looked into astrology and my birth chart. Venus, the planet of love and attraction, along with the Moon, which represents emotions and nurturing, has provided insights into my approach to romance and emotional fulfillment. Additionally, examining Neptune’s influence on idealism and fantasies, as well as the 7th House, which governs partnerships, has shed light on my tendencies in relationships. Furthermore, exploring the 12th House, associated with hidden realms and subconscious patterns, has uncovered unconscious motivations that influence my interactions. Integrating these astrological insights with my personal reflections has deepened my understanding of my relationship dynamics and offered avenues for growth.

In essence, my journey of self-discovery teaches me that true fulfillment lies in embracing my authentic self and both attracting and building connections based on mutual understanding and acceptance. I long for true love, for someone who can embrace all my seasons and truly see and love me for who I am. Likewise, I aspire to be that person for them—a companion to grow with and draw closer to, navigating life’s journey together.

[ayisigindakiolaf]

Herkesin bahanesi var, senin yok. Günahlı bir gölgenin serinliğinde biraz bekleyebilirsin. Daha sonra burada kalamazsın, başa dönemezsin. Ama dön. Eve dön. Kitaba dön. Kalbine dön.

[dailyexo]

Xiumin - 140424 Macau Airport, departing for Incheon

Credit: Xiugrina. (마카오공항 출국)

[fuckyeahxiumin]

✻ xiugrina // do not edit.

[thingsthathavebeensetfree]

Yes, just recently I went to watch a movie alone. Superhero movie! It was a month ago. At that time, i felt such a familiar emotion. Watching movies alone also gives you a new feeling. It also allows you to concentrate more to the movies. I like it. I remember when I went home after that, I said to myself that I should do it again because it was so much fun.

Answering “Have you ever watched movies alone?”, Blue Night, April 24th 2014 (source: clairdelune48)

[aashiquidreams]

Listening to Miles Davis, escaping into a realm where everything feels almost perfect, if only for a moment.

[dailyexo]

Xiumin - 140424 Macau Airport, departing for Incheon

Credit: Xiugrina. (마카오공항 출국)