#148 days

[dailychristmas]

Winter. 🌨 Christmas is 148 days away.

[atleastitsnotherpes]

[noid-ed]

little things

i am small in this world, my problems are only big to me...i’ve felt alone a lot this summer, but it’s only been in my head. I wonder what I would be doing right now if i hadn’t asked for help. I think about this often. I’m not afraid to admit my problems, I’m not as scared as I was. What terrified me the most was not being comfortable with myself. As each month drags on, I feel a little stronger each day, each moment i push myself to keep going. I know I have ways to go, but I’m not scared of being alone. It’s odd to think that I found an answer to why things in my life would never settle. I don’t mean settle as in oh well this is good enough. I mean it’s just crazy to think how much chaos I put out into the world around me and the people close to me. 

it’s also crazy to not feel so insecure, that shit still blows my mind to this day. I know i still have a lot of room for growth, it’s just damn girl. look how far you’ve come, and there’s still so much more good to experience.

[pink-lemonadey]

guess how long until flashback?

[tracesofswift]

When you don't find out until today that your parents would have drove you to Bossier City or Baton Rouge to see Taylor???????

[both-before-and-after-the-drugs]

Missing You.

I remember they last time I saw you. You told me you were moving to California. I wanted to be happy for you, I knew you really wanted to go. You think going to California will help you achieve your dreams. We hadn't seen each other in months. I had been missing you and we finally got to see each other. I was so nervous to see you, even after being friends for months. You said you had to go to bed soon but stayed up well over an hour longer than you planned. When I left you asked for a hug. This was the first and only hug we had. I was so happy. I cried almost as soon as I got to my car. I was so sad, I had just learned I was going to be losing my best friend. This was November 25, 2014. It’s been 148 days since I've seen you, or heard your voice. I texted you happy birthday on your birthday. We talked a little but not much. You also told me you didn't move. I was so happy, I wanted to yell. I wanted the whole world to know my best friend was still going to be in my life maybe a little. I thought this was going to be the last time I saw you but this summer when I move home, I better see you more than never. I don’t think I could be in the same town as you and not get to see you. That would hurt too much. I hope you miss me just as much as I miss you. I guess not really because you never talk to me. I’m not sure why, but I hope we can go back to where we left off. I found it ironic that the first place we hung out and the last place we hung out at are the same, and they were the only time we hung out there. 

[maudeinaustralia]

7/04/2015

I cannot wait to go to Australia and find a job and just ... enjoy myself to to fullest when I’m finally there. I'm not even there, yet I'm wondering what is going to be next. I could travel Asia for a while before coming back to Canada ... and then go back to Ireland as soon as I possibly can for another working holiday. Or I could go to Costa Rica, I know someone who lives there. It would be a good idea. WHO KNOWS. A lot of things can happen between now and when I finally come back here. The struggle is real :)