#031 Cave Paintings of the Dordogne Valley, France
PREMISE: Since the dawn of time, humans have used artistic representation as a way to express themselves and make sense of the world around them. These cave paintings, dated to 15,000 B.C., are the earliest known examples of humankind’s most eloquent, most substantial, most revelatory form of art: the police procedural. They depict the adventures of Gork and Lurg, two cavemen who solve crimes. CHARACTERS: Gork is a hotshot caveman who invented the idea that when someone dies it’s important to find out why. Scholars say Gork is an expression of early humans’ belief that even in a cruel, violent world with no laws, it’s important to give weight and meaning to each individual’s death. Gork lives alone on a rudimentary houseboat because his ex-cavewife kicked him out of the cave. The houseboat always sinks because it’s made of rocks. Gork’s partner, Lurg, always goes by the book, even though writing and printing won’t be invented for thousands of years. Lurg also knows the secret of fire, which proves to be an invaluable investigative tool. Lurg is frequently shown grappling with the burden of being aware of his own mortality. Though they respect each other, Gork and Lurg often butted heads, literally and figuratively. Early humans seem to have intuitively understood that nothing makes dramatic sparks fly like a mismatched duo who have to set aside their differences in order to crack a case. Bulgd was a Neanderthal who seems to have been used as a primitive form of comic relief until he was trampled by a mammoth. NOTABLE EPISODE: Gork and Lurg find a body that has been bashed in the head with a rock. They suspect that the culprit is Zug, the victim’s brother. They can’t prove it, but that doesn’t matter because they have no concept of burden of proof, so they throw Zug into a cave filled with cave bears. (Scholars refer to this painting as “The Bear Truth” — Wall 2 Painting 5) CATCHPHRASE: Scholars have identified an image of Gork that they believe qualifies as a catchphrase, though there are differing opinions about how to interpret it. Some scholars argue the image represents the phrase, “Looks like we’re caught between a rock and a hard place.” Others claim that Gork is meant to be asking, “Why people die?” TRIVIA/MISCELLANY: The artist responsible for these cave paintings did another series of paintings in a different cave that featured Lurg as the main character. Scholars agree that those paintings just aren’t as much fun to study because the chemistry between Lurg and Gork was what made the originals so appealing in the first place.