#15peaches

[awdio]

I guess I just gotta appreciate that I can feel this way about someone and keep it pushing

[awdio]

This shit not fair yo. All I do is be honest, open, and vulnerable but what’s the use if you’re just gonna believe your own narrative anyway. This shit hurts. Honestly, I want this to work out, but I just keep getting pushed away. I’m persistent, but for how long can this gone on? What really irritates me is that I was learning how to cope with loving you without being together. Now I’m just thinking I should throw it away all together. I hate giving up, but this isn’t fair to me.

[awdio]

I’m here to report that Tinashe made an exceptional album and I cried a minimum of 4 times while listening to it, more specifically while listening to Save Room for Us on repeat. I miss my friend and I love her very much and I hope she listens to this album and connects with it the way that I have. I’m crying again 😭😭😭😭

[awdio]

I’m blown. I just want to know if the feelings were real or if I just played myself

[awdio]

Hey tumblrrrrrr!

I’m back on this everyone-forsaken site to vent about a break up... AGAIN! Yes, again 🤦🏿‍♂️ There’s not much to say this time. I’ve learned and grown out of co-dependence. I’m really just here because this is a safe space to vent about missing her. It’s been one week since we last saw each other. The feelings will eventually subside, but until then here I am. She did some childish shit that doesn’t sit well with me, but I still miss her company. I hope that we can be friends one day, at the very least. This one hurt. I feel forgotten. I don’t know why. I do my best to look at things from her perspective so that I don’t become overwhelmed, selfish, or bitter from my own feelings. And it helps! The only issue is that all I can do is guess what she’s feeling or what she’s going through. I understand now that it’s not my place to fix or save the problem, but in my current position I can’t even sit through the pain with her. I’m completely outside. I hope that she’s okay. I know that she’s been trying to get my attention (and obviously I’m here paying attention). But I’m keeping myself away because that’s what was asked of me, or at least insinuated by blocking my number. How does she block my number and then hit my mans to relay a message to me??? JUST UNBLOCK MY NUMBER AND CONTACT ME YOURSELF ??? (This is the childish nonsense I was referring to earlier). Anyways I don’t know and all I can do is postulate and honestly I don’t want to anymore. I just want her to be straight with me. I’m here for you, if you end up reading this. I don’t have to be a partner, I am your friend. Whether you know it or not. Please don’t isolate yourself to the point of loneliness because you feel like you can’t be friends with me. I really just hope that she’s okay.

[awdio]

This is getting old and tired...

I love her to pieces and I know she’s not worried about me, so why do I keep thinking about her. It’s boring and lame. I want better for myself. I learned my lesson. I don’t even want her anymore. :(

...but highkey she’s been the muse for like 5 different songs and for that I am extremely grateful lol

[awdio]

So I thought that I wouldn’t be back here positing in this tag again but posting is keeping me from acting as boo boo the fool so here we are 🙃 I’m really just upset that I still have feelings toward her even though it seems as though she’s moved on. It sucks. To go from (what appeared to be) mutual desire to nada.... clown man, clown man, yeah that’s me 😭🤡 Niggas couldn’t even spare me the courtesy of communicating that they’re leaving smh. A lesson learned. Tek time. I truly want better for myself and my actions reflect that everyday, but I honestly just wish that I was wrong about this. I don’t want to “manifest” you back into my life. If you’re not supposed to be in my life then stay wayyyy over there. But damn that shit hurted

[awdio]

Well that was ....a lesson learned lmao