15 years later...I'm not going to get into a whole diatribe about relationships because lord knows everyone's is different but what I will say is Titles & labels can limit, anchor & spoil. I'm not talking about the institution of marriage either. I'm speaking about what others begin to qualify and identify you as. As if, right? Both of us realizing and sharing these "ahh haaa" moments gave us lots of dexterity but it didn't soften the on coming blows of what our "relationship" would attract. Because I was always "happy" in my general disposition every thing around me kinda reflected that. When your partner is sad and dealing with their own reality and past experiences you either have the "juice" and stay or you leave. Compromise and Being "built" for certain drama is deep because we all come from our own given circumstances. Was it because of witnessing certain things that happened in my family after my mom passed the reason or excuse as to why I could "deal" with" extreme Baby Mama Drama Aseer was around. I wasn't built for jail, being attacked physically by these women, and isolated by friends and I didn't think it was Aseer's complete fault. But this was what was happening. Reality check. We all know whatever one person is "going thru" can color and shape your experiences as well. Even though I never kissed a girl or entertained a threesome many may know that Aseer has experienced that. I'm not spilling any beans...he chose to share his experiences, I believe in order to try to help others going through what he experienced those first 6 years in Family Court etc... But let me not digress. The point is becoming aware of what supporting him publicly and privately has taught me, and in turn us, a lot over the past 15 years. Back in 2005 I didn't plan on becoming the person people associated with "handling Aseer's business". Are you mad? Lol; I was there because it was a no brainier for me then. I chose to help and support, and it lead to beautiful growth. Its a heavy blow to be ostracized from your own family and I understood that pain. We both had no idea how talking and being seen on camera together in 2003, would alter our reality. We were just going with the flow; Following the signs so to say. But, All the energy it ensued was not something I or we could have planned. And this was all before the days of Instagram. Lol. Meeting all these people I grew up around in NY, who totally didn't seem well, much less sane at times. Was he driving these folks mad from listening to history, and facts? This can't be his doing? I would tell Aseer "I feel like a dainty flower being rained on by acid rain". So, personally I had to take serious steps back from all "that". Which for me, at the time (2006-2011) became identifying very mentally ill people in what was identified as a "conscious community". As nice as that sounded then, I quickly came to my own determination. I was like "What the f--- is all of this I'm allowing myself to be around?" Everything I loved about my culture started to become heavy, weighted and very toiling on my spirit. So like what I learned teaching yoga in studios is: step back from the studio to preserve your love of the art of yoga. The past 3 years I've felt more rejuvenated and at peace and it's come from not being afraid to adjust and shift my perspective, our routine and my "routine". Even though I have less help than single mothers (I did the research) my son is not without his father. I don't feel as on guard as I did around all that energy. That was no Bueno for me as a ladylady... And no one but me could identify that and do something about it. Compromise and sacrifice is inevitable when your not striving to use people just for your own gratification. But, flip side, that's what everybody does, right? Well, I'm not everybody and that's okay. I always laugh when people are like "why aren't you here, girl?". "Because I'm a mommy saving money and raising my son and I don't need to be so involved or stress my child's father when he's teaching and opening international doors of opportunity for people and doing what he feels god has placed him here to do. It can be very interruptive to anyone's creative process to interrupt their flow. Whether that's painting or making music, or just sitting in silence. But you don't say all that, you live it. Less can be more at times but you've gotta know when. That's the beauty in letting the story unfold and allowing time to tell all. After 15 years you can't avoid taking responsibility; at least I can't. One day at a time.... Enjoy each day you wake and some joy will be right there waiting for you. Especially if you wake alone. Your never alone. Somebody across the globe or right next door is having a similar experience. We're interconnected even when we think we are not.