#16.4.2022

[prosy-days]

April 16, 2022 - Day 301

Love these new chopstick rests that I got as souvenirs.

[godsnameisjoy]

RECOVERING ❤️‍🩹

Date: 16 April 2022

Duration: 73 minutes at 10:45 PM

Depth:

Since the session on Wednesday (13 April ‘22), there hasn’t been a single session where I have reached my best depth in meditation. That’s 4 sessions straight devoid of spiritual flourish. Sigh. That’s the degree of detrimental influence one’s psychological makeup has over one’s spiritual growth. Seriously detrimental.

Why can’t I change my working, waking mind to behave like one of those noble elements on the periodic table? These elements are so perfectly full of themselves that they don’t interact with their more unbalanced counterparts. Noble atoms can behave nobly because their outer electronic orbits are perfectly full. I wish I could complete my psychological outer orbit to be as such.

I think that the psychological ‘outer’ orbit of an individual is the one that interacts with folk. One doesn’t need anyone to arrive at and maintain equanimity. One can act strictly professionally without losing an ounce of love in one’s heart. What if the opposite were true too? A gentle yet disciplined professional approach while interacting with folk may be a suitable environment for ‘growing’ love in one’s heart.

I experienced that single biggish involuntary bodily move, along with a variety of trembles, through the session last night. The good news is that my meditation duration last night was better than the night before. Also, not once did I check on the timer on my phone while at meditation. I covered an hour plus effortlessly.

The trembles were of the mild kind through most of the session. Towards the end of the session, they became strong. I feel like I am writing a blog from a few weeks back. My meditations were like this a few weeks back. I was beginning to move into another phase of growth but I shot myself in the foot by speaking my heart out.