The light here is terrible today. I tried to catch and edit the color so it was closer to what I see. Sometimes the blue is so bright and summertime very subtle as the light changes. He has all these very shimmery parts that I couldn't get to come out. Those are a soft luminous green but they just look like a texture in the pictures. They are in the golden areas. This pour has a lot of subtlety and transparency which change with light and shadow and the new owner of this one will have something really personal and special. #gothicangelbjd #gothicangelbjdcain #gothicangelcain #gothicangelstudios #resinpour #nakedfusionresin #culturehustlelit #artezapigments #bjd #bjdhead #bjdcasting #resincasting #bjdartist #1off #oneoffbjd https://www.instagram.com/p/CWs36R0gHUe/?utm_medium=tumblr
So a long talked about, contemplated and atypical project has come across my bench... #251WpnWrx #Ruger57 #Custom #1off #StayTuned (at Super Secret Alien Ninja Pirate Base) https://www.instagram.com/p/CK7q3Q6rZ8S/?igshid=yj0w7penjxcj
"Yeah, are you?" You asked, you knew could see how nervous he was.
"I think so, it's the easiest way of getting the news out there. Hopefully we will get a positive response from the fans."
"Agreed! Come on lets go."
You'd been standing at the end of the drive by the gates for a few minutes, both of you nervous with what you were about to do. Jeff had called John a self employed photographer from Brixton and told him to be by a certain bridge in Hampstead Heath just after 10am on that warm Thursday morning.
John was a nice guy, he never hassled celebrities, instead getting his pictures without being intrusive. It also meant that he was very often called up by management teams and told to be somewhere. He got given exclusives because of the manner in which he worked and he was about to get a massive exclusive.
Harry was pushing Jacob in his pram, the sun parasol covering the sun from his face. It was end of August and quite a warm day. Jacob was dressed in one of his new outfits from Anne, a pair of white cotton dungarees with dark blue anchors on them. A light blue blanket covering him loosely.
Walking through the park, you headed towards the direction you knew John would be. Harry hated these types of staged pictures but had done it a couple of times over the years for various reasons.
You linked your arm with Harry, leaning in to kiss him. His trademark dimples appeared and he nudged your shoulder with his. You decided to pretend that John wasn't even lurking in the bushes, and started a conversation about what time Louis and Liam were coming over this afternoon. Harry chatted casually, as you did a small loop of the area and exited towards the high street.
You'd not seen John but knew he was there, you'd felt like you were being watched. Walking around the local food shop, Harry's phone buzzed in his pocket. A message from Jeff was displayed.
"John got some great photo's, he offered his congratulations and said you looked very much in love with each other. He wishes you both all the best."
You smiled up at Harry.
"Come on, let's get back and get this stuff sorted for lunch." You said smiling.
"Just so you know, I am very much in love with you. " He whispered, as you stood in the queue to pay.
"Good, because I am very much in love with you to." You replied.
Louis engulfed you with the biggest cuddle when he and Liam arrived that afternoon at 2pm. Arms full of gifts and a huge bouquet of flowers for you.
"So good to see you Fliss."
"You to Louis."
Liam was the first to walk into the living room, desperate for a cuddle with Jacob.
"Can I have a hold?" He asked, as he hovered over the moses basket.
"Of course." Harry replied, reaching in and picking up Jacob.
With the summer weather still glorious, you'd set up the covered patio outside with snacks and drinks. You all took a seat, Liam still cuddling Jacob.
"So......." Louis started saying, eyeing you both up. "What the hell happened with you two?"
Harry looked across at you, it had been a while since he'd caught up with the boys face to face. He briefly saw Liam when they were both in Brazil but Harry obviously hadn't spoken to him about what had happened with you both.
"Well......I very stupidly ended things with Fliss at the end of November last year. I um.......hadn't been dealing with my grief very well and...... I basically pushed her away."
Liam and Louis both sat looking at him, the worry on their faces was evident. Harry had hidden his issues from them as well.
"Then 12 days ago I saw Fliss coming out of the supermarket and I called out to her and practically chased her down the street. She um.........had Jacob with her. We've been building things back up with each other........we've both made mistakes but we want a future together."
You hung your head in shame, you couldn't bring yourself to look at either of them.
"And you didn't know about Jacob's existence until the other day?" Liam asked, his voice calm.
"No."
You weren't sure what Harry had told them in the email he'd sent to them and Niall but apparently he hadn't really explained the situation.
"Fliss, why did you keep it a secret? We all would've supported you?" Liam asked, his face covered with the look of confusion.
You went to answer but Louis cut you off.
"Did you know you were pregnant when I saw you in January?"
"You saw Louis?" Harry asked you.
"Yeah, we bumped into each other near my work. Louis had a meeting in a nearby office. And yes I did know."
"Why didn't you tell me love?" He said sighing.
"I didn't want anyone to know." You mumbled. "I haven't told any of our mutual friends, even my Dad doesn't know I kept it from Harry or that we even broke up. Just thought it was the best thing after Harry ended things. I thought it would cause trouble for him, especially since things didn't end well."
"Fliss knows about the.......um girl I kissed behind her back. We've not got any secrets from each other now and that's how it's going to stay." Harry said, he reached his hand across to yours and brought it up to his lips.
You could feel the tears threatening to fall. Liam and Louis just continued staring at you, trying to process what you'd both just said.
"I don't know what to say." Liam said. "I'm upset you didn't think we'd help you or support you. And I'm angry that you kept this from Harry." He paused for a second.
Liam had always taken on the role of older brother to the boys, especially with Harry since he was the youngest. Harry had told you about a few months previously when he'd been bombarded in his hotel in Brazil and Liam organised it for him to stay at his hotel with him. He was there doing some promo for his single and had heard about Harry's troubles. The band very much still looking out for each other even though they were all pursuing solo careers now.
You felt the tears slip down your cheeks and you hastily rubbed them away with the back of your hand.
"I didn't mean to upset you." Liam said, he handed Jacob to Louis and crouched down by your chair. "Just shocked that's all."
"It's fine, I was worried everyone would think I'd fallen pregnant to trap him." You replied.
Liam pulled you into a hug, stroking your hair.
"We would never think that Fliss, ever."
"So I have a question." Louis suddenly said. "So do you think if Niall has a son in the future, that baby, Freddie, Bear and Jacob will form a boyband?"
You all burst out laughing.
"Maybe Louis, maybe!" You replied, smiling.
The afternoon spent with Liam and Louis had been amazing. You'd really missed them all and you felt it had done Harry some good to.
Sitting in the doctors surgery the next day, Harry was doing his nervous foot tapping thing again. You looked at him and glared, but he just smirked.
You didn't have to wait long before your names were called and you went through to the examination room. The doctor didn't even bat an eyelid when she saw Harry, you weren't sure if she knew who he was. You wondered if Harry liked it when people didn't recognise him.
Stripping Jacob down to just his nappy, the doctor checked him over, listening to his heart best and checking his joints moved correctly. Jacob was an absolute dream and was pretty much asleep for the whole thing.
Handing Jacob to Harry, the doctor had you lay down on the bench so she could examine you. She asked you how you were feeling, pressing on your tummy to make sure everything has gone back to normal in there.
"Everything looks great with you both, Fliss you're obviously taking care of yourself and have recovered well. So have you thought about your contraception options?" She asked.
Oh god. It was now you wish you'd made Harry stay in the car.
"Um, well I was thinking of just going back on the pill I was on before."
"Are you sure? There are other options of you want me to go through them with you both."
"No I think I'll go back on it, but be careful in the future if I take antibiotics with it."
You could see Harry out of the corner of your eye, looking between you and the doctor, you knew you were blushing. The conversation was making you nervous, the doctor obviously didn't know your history, so thought she was just chatting to a young couple with a new baby. Since you had reconnected with Harry, you'd kissed quite a few times and were acting like a couple. You had spent quite a few nights cuddled up on the sofa, however apart from Harry occasionally grabbing your bum during a kiss you had both kept your hands from wandering.
Sitting back in the car and fastening your seatbelt, the prescription for your pill in your hand, you could feel Harry staring at you.
"Felt like I was back at school when she started the sex chat!" He said, trying to lighten the mood.
You couldn't help but laugh, it had reminded you of Health and Social lessons at school where you leaned about safe sex.
"Um, is it ok that I chose to go back on the same pill I was on before?" You asked him hesitantly, still not looking at him. "I mean, I know it failed before."
It felt awkward having this chat, you both had agreed to take your time with reconnecting. However in the last two weeks, you'd moved in with him and started acting like a couple again. You weren't going to lie, you'd only that morning been staring at him standing in the kitchen in just his boxers. His back to you as he made the coffee, his broad shoulders flexing as he lifted the kettle. You'd managed to hide the pathetic squeal that escaped your lips with a cough and had been glad that the radio was on.
The last time you had both been together sexually, had been around the time you'd fallen pregnant well over ten months ago. Harry had admitted that he hadn't slept with anyone else since you or even kissed anyone. When that God awful model had tried to kiss him, he had reacted quickly so she'd barely even grazed his lips, before he told her to back off.
"Well um, it's your body and I know it helped with your monthly cycle and stuff." He mumbled, looking down at his hands. " I don't mind wearing condoms, you know when we are ready to take that step if it will put your mind at rest."
"Yeah, um.......... We can think about it. I mean it worked for us for almost three years it was just my antibiotics that stopped it working."
You sat in silence for a minute before Harry looked over at you.
"I'm happy to take as long as we need to um.....you know do anything more than we are. I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything else. I mean a lot has happened between us and you've had Jacob since."
"I know we said we'd take one step at a time but I feel like things are moving really quickly between us. It's only been two weeks but it feels like we've never been apart."
"That's probably my fault, I'm just so happy to have you back.....I just can't help myself."
"Harry, it's not a case of it being someones fault, I can't help myself either. I'm sat here thinking about how much I want to kiss you right now."
He didn't waste anytime, leaning over to cup your face and kissing you, your hands instantly gripped his t-shirt. His fingers were threaded through your hair at the back of your head, not wanting you to pull away. The kiss ended up being fast, mouths clashing together, both of you wanting as much of the other one as possible.
"Maybe we should change it to going with the flow?" You whispered against his lips.
You felt him smirk against your lips.
"I think that's better."
After cleaning the kitchen and loading the dishwasher you left Harry and Jacob chilling in the living room, heading up the stairs to take a shower. Harry was sitting on the sofa, his knees bent up with Jacob lying along them singing to him, completely ignoring the programme currently being showed on the tv.
You smiled to yourself as you climbed the stairs, you always knew Harry would be a great father. Many times over the years when you had been together had you imagined having a family with him.
Stepping into the shower, the water was hot, the shower cubicle soon filled up with steam. Lathering up your hair with shampoo, humming away at the music you had playing earlier that was stuck in your head. Getting up in the night with Jacob had never been easy, luckily he was now only waking once and going longer between feeds. Taking a bath or shower in the evening always relaxed you and helped you sleep better.
You were just rinsing away the last of the bubbles from your body when you heard Harry's voice. He was shouting something to you and you started to panic. You quickly shut off the shower and opened the screen, just as you were about to grab your towel Harry came bounding into the bathroom with Jacob in his arms, his eyes wide.
"Fliss, Fliss, watch this!" He paused, looking down at Jacob. "Jacob....Jacob......Daddy loooooooves yoooooouuuu."
You looked down at them both, wondering what the hell was going on and that's when Jacob gave you both a beautiful beaming smile. You quickly covered yourself with your towel, realising that Harry had noticed your nakedness.
Harry's face was filled with absolute devotion to Jacob. His eyes then fell to you. "Isn't that just amazing?! I did that! I made him smile!" He leaned down and placed kisses on Jacobs forehead, a massive smile on his face.
"Um, sorry about barging in, I was um .......... was just so excited." He said, and you could see he was suddenly embarrassed.
A blush rushed up across your face. "Don't worry, it's not like it's nothing you've not seen before."
You looked across at Harry, and then down at Jacob and you knew then in your heart that you were doing the right thing.
