The Affairs at Meddler’s Top: A Play in Two Acts
@blacksuitsdiamondmobster
*Your ticket is handed to you and you are politely instructed to head to your left and down a short incline where one of the ushers will help you to your seat. The play is being hosted in one of the smaller auditoriums of the theatre house, though it is no less well kept with plush seats and ample leg room for all guests. As more and more carapacians pile in it is soon clear that the night has been sold out once more, you were quite lucky to secure positions within the middle seating section. The lights dim around the audience as those on stage pop on. There seems to have been a slight addition to the right portion of the stage, the audiences left, a half circle portion just out slightly. On it appears to be a judge’s bench with 2 smaller tables and chairs in front of it, these items have been angled in such a way as to cause no obstruction to the main stage, yet remain adequately visible from all seats.
ACT 1: Scene 1
The wide red curtain opens up to show a slim portion of the stage itself, which is being illuminated by the first row of lights. Behind the red curtain is another curtain, made of a sort of thin, somewhat transparent material that shimmers in certain sections. Shadows of the actors are visible behind this second curtain. Their still shadows making them seem as if they are being seen through a fog.
From stage left enter the Usher; a small framed man, the Defense Counsel Percy Farquar: of average height, nervous gait, and untucked shirt, and Prosecution Counsel Gervase Trimble; dressed to the nines and walking with a purpose. The Usher pauses at center stage as the 2 men continue on to stand by their seats in the small courtroom area. The Usher clears his throat and begins addressing the audience*
Usher: Good ladies and gentleman of the jury please stand for his Honour Justice Grimble Doggerel
*The Usher allowed a few brief moments for the audience to humor him before the judge was given his signal. The Judge enters, a tall, foreboding figure, his dark robe billows behind his thin body might be reminiscent of death himself if the wig didn’t sway in a most ridiculous fashion as he makes his way behind the bench.*
Usher: Please be seated. *He pauses while the noise of people moving settles* I declare the court in session
Judge: Thank you….er, do you have a name Usher? *He asks, a pointed brow raising on his stark white features, barely glancing at the smaller man by his bench*
Usher: Watt.
Judge: I said *He raises his voice a smidge for the man, figuring his height gets in the way of his hearing* do you have a name Usher?
Usher: Watt sir.
Judge: *Losing his temper already* Listen carefully Usher for goodness sakes! I asked you your name.
Usher: My name’s Watt m’lud… *He speaks in growing confusion*
Judge: I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you! Defense Counsel who is the Usher?
Usher: No m’lud, I’m not who I’m Watt
Judge: You’re the Usher! *He leans forward in his bench to glare down at the little man, wig askew*
Pros: If I may m’lud- *He sits up a bit straighter in his chair to properly catch the Judge’s attention*, the Usher’s name is Watt
Judge: It’s the name he was christened
Pros: I know m’lud… *He quiets down upon noticing that his attempt was in vain*
Judge: Well I don’t what’s his bally name?
Def: I know it is, did you know all the time, m’lud?
Judge: *He looks positively ready to smash each and every one of their heads in with his gavel, instead he does the proper thing and moves on with the case at hand* Now Usher- *He gives the small man a pointed glare* -please read the charge against the accused
Usher: M’lud, members of the jury. This being the 15th day of June 1925 in the court of Justice Grimble Doggerel Case Number 25 the Crown versus The Rosehip Theatre. The charges are as follows that they did, on three separate occasions perform a drama, described as humorous for an audience that had to pay to watch, and that said audience failed to laugh once.
Judge: A very serious charge whoever they are *He scoffs at the theatre which currently houses them, rearranging some papers before him in mock importance. He does his best not to look off stage left at where the manager is glaring at him*
Usher: Watt.
Judge: I Said- *He raises his voice again* A Very Serious Charge. Now, have the jury been sworn in?
Usher: Yes sir, they’ve been swearing at me for the last ten minutes *it earns some good-natured chuckling from the crowd*
Judge: I’m not surprised. An Usher who doesn’t know his own name doesn’t bear particularly well for the proceedings of this court. Now, who is the Prosecution Counsel?
Pros: Here, m’lud *He stands, straight backed as possible as he introduces himself* Percy Farquar, of Farquar, Farquar, and Farquar
Judge: Oh yes, *He softens tad* I knew your brother, it of a fool, I seem to remember. He was a silly Farwuar, by all accounts.
Pros: *His face takes a downcast appearance for a moment, a smidge of shame washes over his features* Thank you m’lud…
Judge: And the defense Counsel?
Def: Here m’lud. Gervase Trimble of Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble, and Grub
Judge: Excelent *The judge leans back in his seat, calmed now that they seem to be making progress*. Right Mr. Trimble, you may proceed with the case for the Prosecution
Pros: Thank you m’lud. *He sits himself down and produces some flashcards for the case* This is a strange case and one that will be difficult to solve. There may be trouble ahead, but if there’s moonlight and roses, and love and romance, let’s face the music and dance. It involves intrigue, murder, and mayhem. So let me take you to the start of our journey, to the local police station of Grimdyke-under-the Wold, where Sergeant Manners is taking a telephone call from Sir Hector Croquet of Meddler’s Top *His voice takes on a dreamlike lilt to it as the lights begin to dim on the court and the sheer curtain slowly begins to open*
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