#2:51pm

[jiminspromise-remade]

jimin rly is so beautiful

[itsallgrayarea]

Getting There

He says he is trying to buy the ring in the next week. Our engagement photos are booked for next month.

I asked how long he’d wait to move on after I die and he said he probably wouldn’t move on. He’d just make sure the pets were taken care of and then he’d go too.

I asked how much he loves me and he said with his whole life and with the pets’ lives.

He has been all over me again lately.

I just want everything to fall into place.

[ajyal-azez]

تظل مأساة المرء بأنه كان متيقظ أكثر مما ينبغي في زمن يجب أن يغضّ الطرف فيها.!

[catkutku]

New desire: pajama pants with pockets

[horopter]

2:51pm

[levirhowe]

ma, your mcm screamed: "Jerkin ain't dead!!"

[dildotits]

I let time pass by too fast. I thought I knew how it worked but I don't. Not when I'm myself. I want go sleep. I want to die. I get random spurs that yell at me to end my life. I'm letting my loneliest consume who I am. It lowers my self worth and pushes me closer and closer to suicide. I'm not really suicidal, but if I had friends I wouldn't think of wanting to kill myself. If I had company. And not just anyone. Someone. Someone who matters to me. Someone's who relies on me and lives me more than anyone. Someone who puts me before anybody else. Cares about my needs far more than anyone else's. That's what I need. No matter how selfish or self centered I may seem. I need someone who only cares about me. Anyone who just cares about me would see that I'd be the same way with them. Because whoever sees me as a priority is my priority. I just wish I knew somebody, but I don't. I wish I could get around and do shit, but I'm a fucking dumb piece of shit. I'm going to be stuck being alone for a long time. Nobody's interested in me. Nobody cares to talk to me. That what made William and Jon special. They acted like they cared about me. But now they don't. No one does. I'm fooled by this sick disguise people wear. Telling me that they say what they mean and they mean what they feel. And it's all a lie. They don't care about me. My only "friends" want to bring up past conversations with their friends. I do the same since they do it. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable but now you know how I feel. Thomas does that all the time and I can't stand it. I hate being alive and being alone. I want friends. I want someone to talk to. Not myself. That's all I'm essentially doing when I write on here. I talk to myself all the time. I make jokes with myself. I love it, but I wish I had someone else who felt the same way. I wish I knew someone else. I'm jealous of people who find such attractive guys to go out with. I'm jealous of attraction guys. I hate my body so much. I'm so insecure because of it. I have a problem with everything. My face, not having a dick, my voice. I wish someone could understand the struggle. I wish someone helped me to stop being lonely rather than just remind me that I am. Because I know they're busy with someone else. They always are. Everyone is.

[levirhowe]

I'm writing something like a dreamy ass song, and I'm glad to be back writing really I dunno ☄